The title is from the song Burn Victims from the band The Color Morale..a must listen to if you dont know who they are. Thanks for reading guys :D <333
Vicky and I came back from a long day of shopping. Luckily enough Trevor slept through most of it in his stroller. So we were able to spend endless hours in stores.
I didn't buy much, just a new pair of shoes, a tank and some new clothes and a toy for my son.
Vicky however just went crazy. I'm not even going to list all the things she brought home.
"Let's just keep your stuff in the car so we don't have to lug it back when we leave". I stood with A sleeping Trevor in my arms as Vicky locked her car and we made out way to the front door. I was blessed I got to spend time with my son.
She nodded and held the door for me to walk in.
"Ouff! Hey why'd you stop!" Vicky crashed Into my back but not hard enough for me to fall. Thank god.
" oh sheeeeeeet.." She looked from around my back and swore. If Trevor was awake I would of yelled at her but her swear word was a lot less worst then what I wanted to say.
My stomach was in a sicking knot, my guilt and the embarrassment was enough to make me want to faint. Having a body pressed against me wasn't helping with the sweat either.
I was in trouble and had no idea what to say.
"Hey" he spoke softly from where he now stood.
What was he doing here? How did he find me?
"I think I'll go put Trevor down" Vicky quickly pulled my baby from my arms and walked away. Leaving me feeling like I was naked in front of a crowd .
"How did you find me?" I stuttered a bit
"Who was that child?"
It annoyed me when my questions were avoided
"How did you find me kellin?" I made my voice a bit more clear.
He took a step closer "who was that? Was he yours?"
"Answer my question first!" I was getting mad. How dare he walk I here and not tell me how he found me.
"Kevin, Kevin told me." He spat out fast.
"Now who is that?"
I took a deep ragged breath the tears were surfaced and fighting to escape.
How was I going to tell him? I fought so hard to keeps son safe and Kellen broke all my walls.
Kellin stood before me, I hadn't even seen him move. A sob escapes my mouth as he pulled me in to his chest.
I felt safe.
"Shh, calm down. I'm not mad I just want to know the truth. I'm tired of chasing after the girl I love" I felt his hand inter lock with mine. I looked down at our hands and the rings that together formed a heart.
"No matter what you will always be my other half" he whispered and kissed me for head.
I leaned back to look him in the eye and sniffles
" you might need a another piece of your heart to share"
I watched as kellin went from confused to shocked, to confused again and finally blank. His face was like a canvas the story he was putting together in his head was shower all over his face. He realized that child was my son. That Danny was the father. He just didn't know how this story went
"Kellin, I have explaining to do"
He just nodded and let me lead him to the couch.
" his name is Trevor. He is Danny's son by blood but by law he is dean and Josie's."
kellin nodded for me to go on
"Danny left me to go on tour, our relationship was going down hill . When he returned I thought a baby would keep us together but sadly he threw us out. I was forced to give him up for adoption and thankfully the parents allow me to see him. He knows who I am, he's so smart and beautiful." I paused.
"Danny, Danny found me. He was looking for me. I wanted nothing to do with him, ever. Not after what he did. But he is the father and I went to see him and let him see his son. I..I just don't know .. I'm so sorry kellin. I just can't let anyone hurt Trevor, I can't let people in his life for them to only walk out. "I was in tears, my cheeks were wet and I was choking on my breath.
Kellin sat there. He had handed me tissues but still never said a word.
"Pl..please say s..something" I snuffled.
"I need to think" I watched him get up and walk out the door.
My world crashed around me. No word could explain the pain I felt inside. The regret and self hatred. I had let him in and just as i feared he walked out.
Kellin wanted nothing to do with me now, he was probably disgusted that I had a child so young and I let his bastard father back in so easily. I hated myself. I was so weak and pathetic. I knew I couldn't trust men, I couldn't ever love cause no one wants to love someone else's child. Let alone a messed up girl