Love is a Wound Chapter 36

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Katherine has made two more attempts to talk to Guy and each time he simply does not respond, but only turns away from her. He will not eat for her or for Alice, Martha's young daughter, and so today Katherine has sent Martha. She is a big, determined woman and Katherine has high hopes that she can persuade Guy to take some broth.

           Alice and Katherine are sitting in the kitchen waiting for Martha's triumphant reappearance when there is a loud scream from upstairs followed by a crash. Katherine looks across at Alice and as one they rise and rush up the stairs to Guy's room.

           Martha is standing in the room, holding her sodden blouse away from her chest. The material of the blouse is gently steaming and Katherine can see pieces of barley and carrot sliding down it and then plopping to the floor. The broth bowl lies in pieces on the floor.

‘The b*****d threw it all over me,’ Martha shouts.

Katherine turns to look at Guy. He is sat upright in bed with a nasty sneer on his face. He does not look at Katherine.

Martha moves as if to hit him and Katherine catches her arm. ‘Go downstairs,’ she orders. ‘Take Alice with you. I will clear the mess.’

Martha is still glowering at Guy and without warning he throws back the covers, lurches out of bed and advances haltingly, towards her. He is completely naked.

Alice screams and Martha, once she can tear her eyes away from Guy, rushes to her. She spins Alice round so that she is facing away from the naked man and shepherds her quickly out of the door.

Katherine stands her ground, Guy glowering at her with undisguised hatred. She tries to look only at his face but her mind registers the pitiful state of him. She can see his ribs and there are livid burn marks across his belly. She notices too, that as always, he is trying to keep his injured arm out of sight.

‘Guy,’ she says softly, ‘there was no need for that. We're all trying to help you.’

‘I don’t want your f*****g help, I don't want your f*****g pity,’ he shouts. ‘Give me my clothes back.’

‘I can't, I burned them, they were beyond help.’

‘You had no b****y right.’

‘You cannot go anywhere yet, you are too weak. You can see that there is already deep snow on the ground, and more is starting to fall.’

There was silence. Were they both remembering that cold snowy night months ago when they had first laid eyes on each other?

Guy snaps out of whatever dream he is in, ‘I don’t care if it’s raining f*****g blood,’ he spits at her.

She can see he's getting angrier now, he looks demonic, with spittle in his beard.

‘You haven’t been eating, your wounds aren’t healed. If you leave now you will not survive even for a day. You're too weak.’

‘I’m still strong enough to punch you in the sanctimonious b****y face,’ he shouts, spitting in her face with the force of his speech. ‘Get me some clothes and let me go.’

‘You're not a prisoner here Guy, we're trying to help you. When you are fully recovered you can go if that is what you want.’

‘I want to go now.’

‘No.’

She can see his rage, worse than when he discovered she had been talking to Hood. She tries a different approach, ‘Please get back into bed and we'll bring you some more broth. Please don't frighten my servants. Alice is too young to be subjected to … .to … this.’ She waves her hand in the general direction of his groin.

He snorts, ‘Perhaps she enjoyed it,’ he says in a mean voice.

‘Guy, she is but ten years old. She is merely a girl and her father, her father held you in his arms when you were sick and calling for drink. Held you as he would his own son.’

‘I never asked him to, you did. You with your bleeding heart …  what are you trying to do, put everything right?’

Katherine looks shocked and Guy presses on, ‘Why did you do it, save me so that I could crawl about like a pathetic cripple, like a common criminal?’

‘I could not let you die for me.’

‘I’d made my choice.’

‘Well I made a different one…’

‘Rescued by Hood, beholden to that scum …’

‘He risked his life for you ...’

‘For money.’

‘What did you expect? I was surprised he agreed to help at all after all the things you took from him - tried to take from him.’

‘So people can look at me with disgust……pity.’

‘Stop it,’ she says, ‘I don't pity you. You are the bravest man I have ever met, but I cannot let you die. What was the point in saving you if I now let you leave when you are so very weak? And think what a miracle it was that you stumbled upon me here. Would you throw all that good fortune away?’

Guy continues to glower at her; so Katherine tries again to reason with him.

Unfortunately she focuses on the one thing he cannot bear to even contemplate – his amputated hand. He hates the sight of it; talking about it is something he cannot, will not, tolerate. Katherine is as yet unaware of this, and so begins sweetly, ‘Guy, it is terrible to lose your hand, but I have known people enjoy a full life …’

She does not finish the sentence; he is enraged by the pity in her voice and he will do anything he can to shut it out. He launches himself at her grabbing her tightly around the throat with his one good hand and pressing her body against the wall with his own. Then he starts to try to squeeze the life out of her.

She represents everything he has lost, all the humiliation he has had to endure since leaving Nottingham, all the name calling, all the disgust, all the whispering and pointing. He can no longer fight with a sword; he cannot ride a horse properly, and he cannot even dress himself without a struggle.

He used to command men and their respect and now he crawls along in the dark, avoiding everyone except those he hopes can knock him into oblivion. He squeezes tighter. Squeezes out the disgust he feels for himself and the anger he feels for her.

Katherine is making frantic gasping noises, flailing with her arms to try and move him but he has the strength of a man possessed. All his anger is channelled into his hand.

Just as Katherine is about to lose consciousness she feels Guy's grip on her neck loosen and his hand moves gently to her face. She starts to sink to the floor but his arm supports her. Guy is saying something to her that she cannot hear properly and as she closes her eyes she sees him bend his head.

Suddenly there is the noise of feet thundering up the stairs and Robert, Martha and Stephen hurtle into the room. Guy is ripped away from her and Katherine slumps into Stephen's arms. Robert throws Guy face down on the bed, his good arm forced up his back.

Together Martha and Stephen carry Katherine from the room and Guy swears and fights until he cannot do either anymore and Robert allows him to lie still. Robert whistles, Vasey lumbers into the room and Robert tells him to, ‘Sit…keep watch.’

Guy crawls back under the bed covers and Robert notices that he is shaking. The older man looks at him for a while.

‘You might feel better now that's all out,’ he says and then he laughs, ‘But you better watch out … nobody gets the better of my Martha, you'll pay for throwing that broth at her.’

Guy says nothing and simply moves further under the covers. He is still trembling violently and so Robert whistles at Vasey again and indicates that the dog should jump on to the bed and lie down next to Guy.

Robert merely thinks that Vasey will give Guy some warmth whilst he watches over him. All Guy can think is that he has fallen so low, he is sleeping with Vasey.

He begins to wonder how much more humiliation he can take.

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