you know that feeling that you get at the bottom of your stomach whenever you get choked up and don't know what to say?
that is all I can feel right now. my heart was pounding, it felt like my throat was closing up and I thought I could faint at any second.
this man, this beautiful human being with a golden heart. this man, with the piercing brown eyes that saw right through me and made me melt under his touch. he is one beautiful man, I want to sit on his face. hear him moan and groan in my ear and make him feel good. this man is the one human in this world that has ever got me flustered like this. this feeling is so new. I was so sexually frustrated yet I felt like I was falling in love so fast.
"V-Violet?" Vic's voice cracked and snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up and his eyes were glossy as if he were about to cry. I realized that we had just been sitting there and I didn't respond to his comment.
"I l-love you too." I whispered, tears of joy beginning to erupt from my tear ducts.
a small smile grew on his face and he pulled me into a bone crushing hug as I gasped for oxygen.
"oh sorry." Vic said and pulled away from me, allowing air to flow through my body properly.
through all the commotion I didn't realize that Vic's hands were on my hips. I looked up at him, his face still close to mine. I stared into his hazel eyes. they are so beautiful. like a chocolate fountain that you could just swim in for hours.
Vic's phone began to ring. I jumped and he pulled away quickly and dug into his pocket, fishing for his phone. my face dropped, realizing that he thought his phone was more important than our warm hug. I brushed my thoughts to the side as Vic pulled his phone out and pressed the answer button.
"hello?" he said.
the voice on the other side began to talk but I couldn't make out what they were saying.
"are you fucking kidding me! right now? fuck!" he yelled loudly into the phone and groaned. "alright, I'm on my way." he said in annoyed tone. he hung up and ran out of the kitchen quickly, leaving me alone.
his emotions completely changed within two seconds.
I sighed and threw away our trash and ran upstairs to Vic's room, I stood in the doorway and watched him frantically search for something.
"w-where are you going?" I asked quietly.
he ignored me and went to the closet and started to look through his clothes and pulled out his leather jacket. he opened up his arms and pulled the jacket over himself.
he continued on to look through the drawers in the bedside table.
"have you seen my fucking keys?" he yelled at me.
I flinched a bit. flashbacks of the night that he yelled and pushed me towards the wall flooded back into my head. I began to back up a bit towards my door on the other side of the hallway, not wanting a repeat of what happened last time Vic was angry.
"I think they are on the kitchen counter." I spoke.
"move the fuck out of the way!" he screamed, making me flinch once again.
he pushed past me and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. a few seconds later I saw him emerge from the kitchens, keys in hand. I was standing by the last step. Vic began to walk towards the front door, opened it, and with no acknowledgement of my existence at this moment, he left.
he left me.
he left me alone, in a big house at 10:30 pm, without telling me a single word of where he was going. he didn't say bye. he didn't hug me. he didn't even look at me.
he was basically treating me as if I didn't exist.
I know that I may be a bit overreacting but at this moment I have no one. I don't have a mother, I don't have a father, I don't even have any friends. Star stopped texting me after she found out that my mother had left Vic and I. she said she didn't want to deal with a friend that will cry 24/7 because their mother left them, when actually I truly didn't give a fuck anymore.
at first I was extremely depressed, she was mother, I spent my whole life with that woman. she was the one who took care of me. even though she tried to abort me twice. I was a little fighter. she was not the best mother in the world but she raised me, kept me fed, put clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. she was enough to me.
but after I turned 13 she turned into a sex and drug crazed psychopath. I didn't think of her as my mother anymore.
with tears streaming down my cheeks, I grab my vans by the door and pull them onto my feet, I threw on my grey hoodie, and opened the front door.
feelings of rage begin to overcome my emotions. he just left me. he didn't say a single fucking word to me. one moment he was in love with me and the next moment he was acting as if I was dead.
he can't fucking do that to me. I'm not a little toy you can just ignore and be rude to. he yelled at me for nothing, basically.
the cold night air hits me and I feel my nose instantly turn pink. I took a deep sigh and stepped out of the house.
I need to clear my head.