21st Century Goddess

chapter 31 (Anger)

Zypher's POV

I woke up with a blurry vision. I can see people surrounding me, maybe less than twenty people or something. But when I blinked, they were only ten.

"Gising na siya!" Someone shouted. I can't determine whose voice was it.

I still can't feel my surroundings. Parang nag-eecho sa tenga ko ang mga tinig na naririnig ko. I want to cover my ears, because it hurts! But I can't move, I can't feel my body. I tried to look at my surroundings, but everything went blurry when I tried to turn my eyes left, then it feels like everything around me is rotating.

My head hurts!

I closed my eyes to ease the pain that's building inside my head. But suddenly a vague image came into my head, then another, and another. Every image comes in flashes, as if they're in fast forward. Paulit ulit lang ang mga taong nakikita ko, but I can't decipher who they are.

The lady in royal blue with a huge scar in her chest. It looks terrifying. Parang nakatarak mismo sa dibdib niya ang makapal na sugat na iyun, hanggang sa ibabang parte ng collar bone niya. Kahit anong titig ko kapag bumabalik ang mukha niya, hindi ko ito nakikilala, at mas sumasakit lang ang ulo ko.

At ang babaeng naka silky purple gown, na halos mawalan na ng kulay ang buong katawan, at nakatingin siya sa akin. Grabe ang pag-agos ng mga luha niya sa pisnge at naka maang ang bibig niya pero walang lumalabas na tinig doon. She looks like she's going to die anytime dahil hindi na siya humihinga. Nakakatakot siyang tingnan, na nakakaawa at the same time. And I still can't recognize her.

Another picture is my mom and dad. I know it's them. Maramaming beses ko na silang napapanaginipan at itong mga suot nila ay alam na alam ko na. The scene is, they're laying on the floor while crying but they're hardly breathing. Another scene is the chaos surrounding the people that's always inside my head. And these men in black cloak.

Sumisikip na naman ang dibdib ko sa nakikita ko. My mom! My dad!

I can't take this anymore! I want to scream and cry! But I still can't feel my body. I want to knock myself up, para makaiyak na ako. Kasi pakiramdam ko, sasabog na ako.

Please! I don't want to remember this anymore! Not like this, na wala na akong magagawa. Nangyari ang lahat ng ito dahil sa akin. Kung tinanggap ko lang sana agad ang responsibilidad ko at hinayaang tulungan ako ni ate Aria na magkaroon ng kaalaman sa kung sino talaga ako, sana hindi nangyari ito.

Sinabi na niya sa akin na kapag hindi ko tinanggap ang nakalaan sa akin ay wala akong magagawa sa kung anuman ang mangyari sa amin. Pero dahil sa takot ay hinayaan ko nalang yun at hindi pinaniwalaan. At ng dahil din sa akin, hindi nagkaroon ng karunungan ang mga kapatid ko para protektahan ang sarili nila at ang pamilya namin. Kung tinanggap ko nalang sana agad ang lahat at hindi nagpaka duwag, sana ok lang ang lahat ngayon.

Alam kong ako ang may dahilan ng lahat.

I tried to shout and cry. And I succeeded. But just a faint shout, pero kung gaano ka hina ang tinig ko, napakalakas naman ang agos ng luha ko. Little by litte, I can feel my body getting it's functions again. I can already hear clearly, and I heard myself saying sorry.

"It's ok, everything's fine."

Naramdaman kong may yumakap sa akin, binuka ko ang aking mga mata at nakita ko ang worried expression ng mga taong nakita ko pagkamulat ko kanina.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I heard my voice crack.

"Shh, tama na. Ok na naman ate ko eh. Tama na please." Nalaman ko na si Jill pala ang nakayakap sa akin.