My Future, Past & Present

Chapter five

I can't but help to dedicate this chapter to Whitney, she is not only an inspiring writter, she is also a great encouraging editor, with out her my attempt at writting would be a mess so I just want to show her my appreication! 

Chapter 5

When James and I began dating, everything was perfect, he treated me like a princess, gifts, compliments and the attention that my parents had never given me. It didn't take long before I loved him and was willing to do whatever he said, whenever he wanted. He began telling me Jodi was a bad influence and I spent too much time with her and not enough with him, so I stopped seeing her, it hurt more than anything, but I loved him and surely he had to know what was best for me. Little did I know at this time that it would lead to me being scared to breathe without permission, for fear of the consequences.

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I grew up in a family of opulent wealth, old family money. You could say I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My mother was a house wife, if you can call it that, she went to her DAR meetings, her fundraisers and cocktail hour began at ten a.m. I remember hearing my mom raging drunk by lunchtime on several occasions, she would quite retire to bed due to her "migraines". It wasn't that she was a bad mother, she was just never there, as I got older it became more apparent that my father's lack of interest and love of women other than her had destroyed her. I think they were happy at some point, there are pictures of them when they were young, and when they got married they looked so in love and so happy.

My father, now he was a top international commercial lawyer and most often or not, he was gone before I woke in the morning and home well after I went to sleep. My father often went away for weeks at a time on "business trips", he had mistresses in every city. At one point we had regular heavy breathing phone calls, once I picked up the phone and overheard my father talking to one of the many, telling her he could no longer see her and her saying she would kill herself if she couldn't be with him, his response was cold and detached. I never saw my father in the same light after that.

Great role models huh? I was lucky that we had some really great hired help, Maria was our maid, nanny and cook since I was born, she kissed many grazed knees and tucked me in at night, she was what kept me grounded.

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"I'm sorry Scott, I-I-I don't know," I stuttered, pulling the sheet up, covering myself, suddenly I was acutely aware that I had nothing on.

Scott looked at me with those blue eyes that now looked saddened and confused, "Phoebe, baby what's wrong? It's ok, you're safe,"  he reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear, as I looked down his big but gentle manly hand cupped my cheek and brought me back to looking at him. Just looking at him made me remember why I had agreed to come home with him, he was caring, genuine, honest and everything I had always wanted in a man but never found. I had to let go of the past, the past that had always stopped me from trusting a man, how was I ever going to find what I was looking for again unless I trusted my heart.

"What happened last night was beautiful, you're beautiful Pheobe," he then kissed me, once again I had the tingling sensation throughout my body right down to my toes, it was like that feeling you get from really good chocolate melting in your mouth, full blown heartwarming.

"How do you do that? Make me feel so safe and turned on at the same time?"

He kissed me again and we didn't come up for air for what seemed like several more hours, it was delicious, it was intoxicating. It had never been like this before.

We both eventually realised how hungry we were, this was intense calorie burning stuff.

"Mmm, so I think to keep at this we should get something to eat," Scott contemplated as I lay with my back snuggled into his chest, with Scott kissing my shoulder gently.

"I should be going home, I have to shower and get ready before Lucy gets home tomorrow night," I said smiling happily

"Or we could shower here? And you could go home tomorrow?" Scott said with a hint of playful pleading in his tone.

I got out of bed and seductively walked across the room, turned back and looked at Scott, he looked like someone had stolen his lollypop. I smiled and said, "Well, are you coming?" that cheeky smile I was coming to love returned and Scott jumped up and followed me to the bathroom.

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After our shower we ordered Chinese and sat on the big bed with a enough food to feed ten people, in matching robes.

We talked about our favourite movies, books and other non-important details. My favourite movie The Holiday, Scott's was Shutter Island. My favourite artist at the moment Adele, Scott's was The Script, even his favourite band of the moment showed his inner sensitive man.

After awhile came down to the topic of Lucy and inturn James.

"So, you said Lucy was with her auntie, I thought you were an only child," Scott mentioned before taking a bite of an egg roll.

"Yeah, she's with her father's sister," I said, I felt myself being to close off and putting that brick wall around myself that had been there since Lucy was born, I had to be strong for her, I had to be her protector.

Scott must have sensed my change of my mood because he pulled me close, "I've never heard Lucy talk about her father, I'm guessing he's not involved?"

"No, Lucy has never met her father," I said, looking down, toying with the ends of my cord on my dressing gown.

"Honey, what's wrong? It's ok, you're safe here, you can tell me, what's wrong?" he said, forcing me to make eye contact.

"He...James, isn't a very nice man, it's a long story, but Lucy doesn't need him."

"Ok, I won't push you but when you're ready to tell me I'm here, ok?"

"Ok." I kissed him. "Thank you."

"Let's clear this up and go for a drive." We stood up and helped one another clean up the mass amount of food.

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We drove towards the beach, it was one of those deserted white sandy beaches. It was beautiful, we walked bare footed along the sand, it was still warm from the hot afternoon sun, soft and inviting, the air had that fresh salty smell.

After awhile we sat down on the sand and watched the sun go down over the ocean far off into the distance. The ocean was that beautiful red colour of a setting sun, it was romatic setting on the beach, in the arms of this wonderful man at sunset, it was the kind of thing that only happened in movies. It started to creep into my head that this all seemed too good to be true, but then I looked at Scott and the sunsetting and decided to just let the moment be what it was...perfect.