Chapter 19

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Louis didn't acknowledge my existence during that entire Sunday. He mostly stayed in his room doing God knows what, but he was probably texting his friends or his girlfriend, which in that case wouldn't surprise me at all.

However, I wasn't more social either for that matter. I stayed in bed, listening to music in my headphones in order to block the world out and try to drown myself in my own thoughts. Maybe thinking about what had happened wasn't the best idea, but I couldn't think of doing anything better. I either did that or went down to the family room with my family members and talked about things I didn't have a care in the world about. Besides, I didn't want to see anyone in the state I was in, so lying in bed was probably the best at the end of the day.

Now it was Monday, meaning that I had to get ready to go to school, which also meant I was going to have to see Niall. It would probably be one of the most difficult and awkward encounters I would ever experience. Difficult because I didn't want to hurt him, even if I knew there was no taking back what happened, and awkward because we kissed and then I just left him without saying more than the words "I'm sorry" afterwards.

Another reason why I wasn't too keen on leaving my room was because I knew Gemma would interrogate me about the incident in the kitchen the other day. She would definitely demand some answers, which I didn't want to give her. I didn't like sharing my feelings or thoughts to other people even if it was my own sister in this case. I liked to keep personal things to myself. Well, at least for now, when I didn't really know what was going on myself.

And last but not least, I didn't want to leave my bedroom because I obviously didn't want to face Louis. I was sure that would only break me even more, especially if he kept on ignoring me like he did yesterday. I mean, I would be happy if he just met my eyes for one second because then it meant he wasn't ignoring me at least, but since that didn't happen yesterday, I wasn't expecting it to happen today either.

Therefore, I decided to take my time to change that morning. The longer I stayed in my room, the less chance it was that I would see Gemma or Louis. However, I knew Louis wasn't a morning person, so he probably wouldn't be gone by the time I went downstairs anyway, but hopefully Gemma would be at least, and that counted as something.

Once I had pulled on a black knitted sweater, I got out of my bed and strode over to my closet to pull out a pair of clean, black, skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees. It was freezing outside, but I couldn't be bothered. It wasn't like it would matter whether there were holes in my jeans or not.

After that, I looked myself in the mirror to fix my curls a little. They were a mess today for sure, but I couldn't care less about how they looked right now, so I just lazily ran a hand through them and swept my fringe backwards. Some days you just couldn't be bothered at all.

Sadly, I was all finished in only ten minutes, but I made sure not to do any of my toilet chores yet since there was a possibility Louis would enter the bathroom while I was in there. I would save that for later when I was sure he wasn't around, or I would just use the bathroom on the other floor where you at least could lock around yourself.

To my slight surprise, the kitchen was empty when I entered, which I found absolutely amazing. This meant I wouldn't have to worry about either of Louis or Gemma, unless they would show up during the time I made or ate breakfast that is. For now though, everything was great, so I strode over to the fridge to pull out the milk and the jelly, which I would use to spread on my toast later on when it was toasted. I also grabbed the peanut butter and cereals from the cabinet we kept them in.

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