Chapter 1

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  • Dedicated to Him

My alarm started to beep in it's oppresive mono-rhythm. I refused to turn it off. If I turned it off, the day the would begin, and I really didn't want that to happen. Eventually I could ignore it no longer, if it kept going, it would keep getting louder. I might've woke my dad up, and that would've led to all sorts of trouble.

I slammed it off, and whipped my covers to the floor. I sprang up and made the bed. I took off my vest and shorts and put on my underwear. I quickly checked my school bag to make sure I had the right books. I put on a hollister t-shirt and some forever 21 shorts. I ate breakfast. Then I got the bus to school. I prepared myself for another day, another day of being nothing, another day of pain, another day of death.

When the bus pulled up at Rockmarnock Junior High, my breathing shallowed and my heart beat rose. Would today be the day I would succeed, or would it join the long line of wasted time?

I dragged my purple converse along the lino floor of the E corridor, my laces trailing as I made my way to homeroom. As I opened the door I saw Kai smile at me, and in that one small moment, my day was brighter, my task easier. Perhaps today was the day afterall?

I sat down next to Kai and stared into his eyes. They were chocolate and they danced in the harsh light of homeroom. His feathery chestnut hair rustled with his every movement, like palm trees in the wind. His golden skin was glowing, I longed to touch it. To trace his every feature. To caress his lips. To feel his flesh against mine. But I longed most for him to touch me, to cradle me in his defined arms. Indie suddenly thumped me on the back, expelling me from my daydream with a splutter.

"Hey! Indie!' I moaned.

She could be a very irritating best friend at times.

She sat down next to me and said,

"You looked a bit asleep Cassia, so I'd thought I'd wake you up" She smiled sweetly.

I gave her a murderous glare.

Kai saw and cracked up.

Mrs Ellroy walked in. The class stopped talking, all was silent.

I knew what she going to say and do off by heart- she would begin with her usual "Good Morning Class" and then she would sit down and knock her pencil off of the desk. I had been part of this scene so many times, I had completely lost count of the amount of times I had watched this. Mrs Ellroy played it all out exactly as I had predicted, like the scores of times before. 

I buried my face in the clammy palms of my hands, I deplored this endless cycle of replay. I was in utter despair, would this haunting day ever stop repeating itself? Every single time I drifted through the day I knew what was in store for me. Kai saw my melancholy face and nudged me and whispered,

"Hey, Cassia, what's up? You look so upset? Are you ok? Is your Dad still giving you problems?"

I lied through gritted teeth,

"No, no my dad's being great at the moment, no problems whatsoever!" I flashed by best 'I'm fine' face. "I'm just worried about getting our math tests back later." This, of course was not the problem, I knew I was going to receive 83%, an A+.

Thankfully, Kai didn't see through my lies, I assumed that now the day would just take it's usual destructive course.

Mrs Ellroy glared at us,

"Miss Wick, Mr Green!"

We immediately shut up, we didn't want to cause a fuss.

Mrs Ellroy read out the class notices and then let us out to go to our first lessons, Kai walked 3 classrooms down to Spanish, while me and Indie across the corridor and to the left to reach French.

We sat in our assigned places and Madame Fayeaux handed out the lessons work. We were covering the topic of 'Verbs in the workplace.' I pulled out my pencil case and got on with the work. I sighed and tried to distract myself and prevent my brain from thinking about what I knew was to come.

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