Johnson's P.O.V.
Here I am, laying in my bed, looking out the window. When will he be home? This is the fifth time this week you have been with her. I curl up in ball, under the sheet, praying to any greater powers above me that he is not drunk or hurt. Ever since Jack had the courage to ask Madison out, it has always been Jack and Madison, the power couple, leaving me in the dust. I feel neglected and alone, wanting someone to hold me in their arms. I want to feel loved, when all I feel is pain my heart.
My phone started blowing up with hate comments, death threats, and comments about how I am dirt compared to him. I groan and turn away from my phone. It buzzes more and more, which made me snap, all I saw was the #Jasdisonforlife and #dieJohnsondie. I threw my phone against the door, making the screen shatter. I swing my legs over to the side of bed and rubbed my temples. All I can hear is a million voices in my head, echoing in my ears, telling me I am not worth it.
I cover my ears, shaking my head not believing what they were saying at first, but then I realize they are right. I was a scared little kid inside, being selfish wanting attention all the time. Only not just any attention, but his attention. I want him to pay attention to me, to hold me, and to love me. I want him to sing to me, to touch me, and to make me feel I am the one he wants. I am a creature, not calling myself a human anymore, just a sorry excuse for a human.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the front door open. I walk down the stairs to see who it was. It was Jack, safe and sound, which made me sigh in relief. He walked in the kitchen, while he was on his phone. I slowly walk behind and sat down at the kitchen table. I watch him as he texts Madison and looks in the fridge for something to eat. I started to go deep in thought about Jack. How his eyes light up when he is happy, how is smile could end all wars, and how caring he is about people.
He put his phone down for two seconds and someone decides to call him. He walked over and answers it. He smiled and I already knew who it was. He started to bit his lip, his eyes darken, and he groan at her words. He grabbed his coat and immediately left the house. I watch him as the door slams shut, which was a cue for my demons to hurt me again. The fact that I am still some what sane boggles my mind. Only I know it is coming, my breaking point, the point where my whole world comes crashing down.
The next day, I wake up alone, again. I do not hear Jack humming a tone while he was down in the kitchen. I do not smell the aroma of pancakes being cooked by him. The only voice I hear humming in my ear, is the many demons that want me dead. The only aroma I smell is the saltiness of my tears as they stream down my face, knowing that Jack did not come home. I collapse on the bedroom floor, feeling the coldness of the floor against my even colder skin.
I could not breath, all I inhale was pain and agony, exhaling my sanity and any emotion I have left. I just felt like I was stuck in this room, no being able to live life, but survive another day with this burden. I am lost in a woods where it is dark and scary, hearing noises of familiar voices and avoiding the murder that is here somewhere. The tides of agony have swept me in to a sea of fear, engulfing me in to a whirlpool of regret. I am locked out in chain as Jack tortures me because he is happy, he is wanted, he actually has someone to hold.
I try to calm myself down, my demons only made it worst. Here I am in the dark, not knowing where to go. I am oblivious of what is in front of me. I then see Jack, my star that lights out my night sky. My savior that scares my demons away. I need him to hold me. I need him to make me feel alive again. I need him here, and I need him now. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the familiar foot steps that fill the house. I slowly stand up and walk downstairs, wiping my tears, making sure I did not look like a total mess.
I go sit in the same spot as before, Jack is on his phone like always, looking through the fridge. I notice he was humming the song he would hum when he would cook breakfast. He had this smile that was so hypnotizing. I am going to ask him, in hopes that he does not reject me harshly. I try to open my mouth to speak, but I could not find the strength the utter words. I have not spoken to a person in about a few months, so now that I am, it is kind of harder than I thought. I was about to obtain his attention when his phone rang.
I close my mouth and close my mouth. His smile grew wider and his eyes lit up while he was talking to her. Am I really nothing to him? Am I just a ghost that wander aimlessly around the house, in regrets of not being able to speak to Jack? Maybe I am a shadow of Jack, besides who would want to be friends with a ghost. I watch him as he talks about how much he misses her, how much he wants to hold her, and how much he loves her. A tear streams down my face, my lip starts to quiver, and my demons scream in my ears, telling me I am worthless.
I heard a phone being put down and familiar footsteps rushing over to me. I kept my head down, hiding my face from him, not wanting to have him blinded by my ugliness. He knelt down looking into my eyes, the eyes that are glued to his phone everyday texting her. He takes hold of my hands and looks into my sad grey eyes again. He looked confused, I would be to if my face was glued to either my phone or my girlfriend's lips.
"Jack, what is wrong?" He asked worriedly.
Anger took hold of me, this tiny flame that has been in my subconscious for so long has erupted on Jack like a volcano. I slapped him across the face and stood him by his shirt. With his shirt tightly in my grip, I then pinned up against the wall. I was beyond furious, not believing he had the audacity to ask me such a question. He stared at me, with his wide brown eyes, even more confused than before. I could finally find the strength to speak, so I did.
"J-Jack, why are you-" he asked before I cut him off.
"Shut up, for once you are going listen to what I have to say!" I screamed into his face,"Everyday you always go out with her leaving me in the dust. Everyday I am trying to survive because I am begin attacked by your rabid fans. I feel alone and neglected because you leave me here with only my demons to keep me company. All I want is for you to have one day to take you face out of your phone and your girlfriend's vagina to look at what is in front of you. This broken boy that needs his best friend to hold him."
He stood there in shock, I let go of his shirt and back away from him, knowing I said too much. I was about to run up to my room when I felt him grab my wrist. He pinned me to the wall and looks at me with his brown eyes clouded with something. He put my wrist over my head and our foreheads touch. My breath hitches actually feeling something amazing in my heart.
"P-Please, p-please," I stuttered out.
"Why are you pleading?" He asked smiling.
"Please do not t-throw me away," I said lip quivering.
"There is too much to go to waste," he said biting his lip.
I felt myself tearing up, I could not take it anymore. I freed from his grip and connected. He kissed back with an equal amount of force. He muttered I love you while we were kissing which made my heart flutter. I could finally breath, I could finally feel loved, I finally received the attention I deserved from him.