Initiate [ERIC/JAI]

1

"You're divergent." The words rang through my ears over and over again, mocking me as if I'd done something unspeakable. The woman who'd administered my aptitude test, I can remember the fear in her face after I'd come to. I thought the test was supposed to tell me where I belonged as I had no clue, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere and it felt like everyone else around me knew. When she told me those words, I felt so alone in the world, everyone told me divergents weren't real.

The choosing ceremony is tomorrow and I'm expected to know where to spend the rest of my life, however, my results told me I couldn't be confided to one faction. I felt like I could explode. One thing was certain, I couldn't stay in Candor.

I gazed down upon my arms, pulling the arms of my jacket up to my elbows. The bruises were prominent, six on one arm and seven on the other. I felt a tear escape my eyes.

No time for self pity Cassia.

I look up at the sky and push myself off the small wall I'd been sitting on, my legs carrying me back home where my demons lie.

                                                                                             *

My hands shake as I put my key into the door, turning the knob slowly to open the door. I walk into the livingroom and close the front door behind me. My brother proceeds to walk in from the kitchen.

"Cass! How'd it go?" Sam smiles and excitedly runs to me.

"I-it was fine Sam. I got sick and sent home." He sighed, and I let my eyes drift away from his gaze. "I got my result though. Abnegation." I lied to his face and his eyebrows furrowed to me.

"Abnegation? Pft. Please tell me your not going to defect to Abnegation." I chuckle at his remark and shake my head at him. "Truth is, I don't want you to go anywhere but that's not up to me, tomorrow is all you Cass. Choose for yourself, no one else." My brother was full of advice, however he never took it himself. He decided to stay in Candor on his choosing day to look after our father.

He was lucky, father wanted him, he was the favourite. On the other hand, I was the daughter. The one he didn't want. He liked to let me know that, constantly. I'd be scared if there was a day where he didn't tell me he hated my existence. I have another brother, Connor, who left for Amity last year. I felt closer to Connor than Sam as Connor used to get beaten by Father when he was younger. Truth was I missed him, and I'll miss Sam when I leave.

My father then came into the living room, scoffing as he saw me.

"So, what did you get?" He mutters under his breath, he didn't care at all. I rolled my eyes.

"Abnegation." I scoff.

His eyes widened.

"Pathetic." He growls back at me.

"I don't think that's pathetic at all. Remind me what you tested as, Dad." I pause. "Nevermind I remember, Amity was it?" I raise my eyebrows and he charges towards me. His hand raises and grasps my neck. His hand tightened but I didn't give in. "I wonder what everyone would think if they knew how dishonest you actually were." I choke out.

"Dad." Sam snaps my Dad from his rage and he lets go hesitantly.

"I'll be glad to see you go tomorrow." He curses and turns away, making his way back into his bedroom.

I could feel myself well up, not because of what he said but because Sam watched him and didn't attempt to stop him.

"Cassia.." Sam looked at me, sorrowful.

"Don't come tomorrow Sam, I don't want either of you there. You're as bad as him." I force back the tears threatening to leave my eyes and turn away, running out of the front door and slamming it behind me. I get to the end of the hallway and push the elevator button lightly, waiting patiently for it to arrive and acknowledging the people inside it when it opens. I step inside and press the button associated with the top floor. I receive weird glances from the people inside the elevator. When the elevator finally reaches the top floor after stopping at all the other people's floors, I step out, defeated. Marissa, Jack Kang's assistant notices me and rushes over to the elevator doors.

"Cassia, are you okay?" She gasps at the marks on my neck and puts an arm around me, walking me to Jack's office. "You get your freedom tomorrow Cassia, I promise no more harm will come to you." She was always nice to me and I loved her for it, how I imagined my mother would've been. She pushes the door to his office open and I glance to the window to see him stood looking out at the area.

He turns.

"Cassia, my god." He rushes to my assistance also. "My dear girl, I'm so sorry." He replaces Marissa's arm with his own, taking me to the sofa in his office and setting me down slowly.

"I'll be fine, I just want to leave already." I cry out. "I just don't know where to go Jack. I don't belong anywhere I'm a monster." I place my head in my hands and weep. Jack was like a father to me, since my own wanted to kill me. I knew I could always turn to him when I needed someone to listen to me. He was the only person in my life I could trust entirely. Glancing around the room I notice Marrisa has left. "I'm divergent, Jack." I sob once again, awaiting his response.

"Cassia, I can assure you there is nothing wrong with you, you're in no way shape or form a monster. You are a strong, brave young girl who can tackle anything that gets thrown at you." He pauses and lifts my head up to look at him. "Divergence doesn't make you a terrible person, yes we're not sure at exactly what it means but I can tell you, if you're divergent it must mean you're special." He smiles widely at me and wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"Since I was young, I was told this test would shape our lives. The test was supposed to tell me where I belonged, it seems like I don't belong anywhere." I sigh, it was true. I never felt like I belonged all my time at Candor and now I feel as though I'll struggle to fit in anywhere.

"It's not that you don't belong anywhere Cassia. It's that you are too amazing to belong in just one place." Jack grins once again and it causes me to smile.

He always knew what to say to me.

"Can I sleep on your sofa tonight?" I ask sheepishly, I'd slept on his sofa thousands of times.

"Of course you can Cass." He pulls me into a tight embrace. "You know where your blanket and pillow is, I'll see you in the morning and I'll take you into the centre." I could hear his emotion change. "I'll miss you, Cassia." He softly speaks.

"I'll miss you more, Jack." I quietly murmur.

With that, he lets go of his tight embrace and leaves his office, off into his room. I knew he looked at me as a daughter to him and I felt it too.

I grabbed my pillow and blanket from his chest of drawers next to his desk and plopped myself back on the sofa, getting comfortable and finally closing my eyes.

I never have to see my father again.

*

I open my eyes to a beautiful morning, no clouds in the sky and the sun beaming down. Jack was already ready and fussing with things in his office. He must've heard me move as his eyes moved to me.

"You're awake! You've not got too long before we've got to go. There's a change of clothes in the second drawer of the dresser, where you got your blanket and pillow from." He points to the drawers. I stretch my arms above my head and prop myself off the sofa, heading to the drawers. I pull out a clean pair of black jeans and a plain white shirt, taking them into the bathroom. The red mark on my neck was less prominent now but still visible. My eyes were dark from crying however I smiled at myself. Today was the today I was to be set free.

I changed into the fresh clothes and sprayed myself with the deodorant I left here a few nights ago.

"Are you ready to go?" Jack asked as I walked back into his office.

I had to pause.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I breathe deeply and smile at him. He smiled back.

Walking out of the Candor building was an indescribable feeling.