One Step Closer (BoyxBoy) [Short Story]

Chapter Two - The Gun

Hüzun:

(n.) A melancholy resulting from inadequacy or failure and weighing so heavily that it becomes communal, resigned, and even curiously poetic.

Chapter Two - The Gun

----------

It is sad that the feeling of having it in my hand almost seems familiar to me now that I've been on the streets for a while. I bought it for ten bucks from some weird drug dealer at the corner of the streets from where I used to live and it has come in handy over the last couple of months.

It is weird to see the fear in someone's eyes when I pull it from my jeans. It's as if I have power over them and it feels oddly satisfying. I used to hate it to make people scared, to take advantage of their fears. But it has become such a normal act for me, like normal people pull out cash when they go to a store to get food, I pull my gun.

The first time I ever did that I couldn't even eat the food that I had stolen. I couldn't get the screams of the cashier out of my head, screaming at me that she didn't want to die and that she had children at home waiting for her. I went as far as pull my hands off the trigger and putting the thing back in my jeans before I took the food from her. And not even ten minutes later I saw Marco walking towards the shop. I didn't even know him back then, but he wasn't surprised that it had happened at this part of the town.

But things were so much different for me now. I don't even do as much as flinch as screams fill the air while people try to get out of there as soon as they can.

I am in the gift shop I was looking at yesterday evening and even though they don't sell food, I can definitely steal some things to start selling them myself. The man behind the counter seems to be mid forty and the fear in his eyes tells me everything, he has kids and wants to get home safe tonight. He doesn't even care about his belongings, he cares about his love for his family.

He pulls open the cash register and dumps all his money on the counter. Immediately after that he runs through the shop and starts picking up all kinds of things. While my back's turned towards the counter I look outside the window, my gun lowered to the ground to make sure I won't accidently shoot someone. I see a couple of people standing outside the shop, all with phone's in their hands, probably to record me. But I am unrecognisable, my head is covered by my hoodie and the only skin visible is on my hands.

"Close the curtains," I demand him anyway. I won't take the risk of being recognised by someone, especially Marco or something. The man immediately starts pulling on the straws, trying to close the things as soon as he can, even though he's scared that I might shoot him.

Within minutes he has gathered some stuff and he even puts it all in a bag for me while keeping his eyes downcast. And now I start weighing my options, I can go out on the streets now and risk getting caught, or I can stay here for a while.

"Leave the store and don't tell anyone about this," the way I speak makes him visibly shiver and for a split second I see relief in his eyes as he runs towards the door. He opens it as fast as possible but stands there for a second before speaking up.

"I will pray for you my boy," and with that said he runs away.

I stand there dumb founded, not only did I just rob this man, I threatened to take his life too. But he still wanted to pray for me, because he believes that it will be okay once again even though he doesn't even know me.

I slowly walk behind the counter and through the door behind it. The first room I step into is almost a small living room, there's a comfortable looking, brown couch, a coffee table and even a tv. That makes my eyes widen for a second. I haven't been able to watch tv properly for at least a year and to see it here makes me almost want to smile.

I put my gun down on the coffee table before picking up the remote and throwing myself on the couch. After struggling with the thing for at least ten minutes I get it to work and I would have never thought that the sound of dress shopping shows would make me feel a bit less depressed and numb.

I don't even know how long I sit there, scrolling through the stations and listening to the annoyingly fake voices of some of the show hosts.

"Dad?" A voice breaks me from my peaceful moment and my hand immediately goes for my gun so I can pull it into my tight grip.

"Dad, are you hear?" As the voice gets louder my heart starts beating faster, it seems to be a boy but the sounds that fall from his mouth almost sound angelic. I slowly put off the sound of the tv and hoist myself from the couch. With my gun still in my hand I walk through the hall and into the shop and I can almost feel my heart skip a beat at the sight of the beauty in front of me.

He is shorter than I am, at least 1 feet shorter, and his features are simply breath taking. His blond curly hair and blue eyes look so innocent and it almost surprises me how it is possible to have a skin that looks almost like porcelain.

"Who are you?" He asks me with an almost completely steady voice. And I can't even answer him.

I have never met somebody that didn't scream at the sight of a man with a gun in its hand. They always start screaming and crying, telling me about their kids and sick family members, but this kid seems to be confident because he dares to look me straight in my eyes. It's as if he's looking straight through me and it actually scares the crap out of me.

"I asked you something!" He scream while taking a small step closer. For someone as small as he is, his confident and strength make themselves known immediately.

"E-Ethan," I answer him with a shake in my voice and I am almost ready to put the gun to my head. Who the hell would state their real name when standing here with a gun in its hand!?

"What did you do to my father?" He asks me, though his voices seems a bit shaky now and the concern in his eyes is hard to miss.

"I didn't do anything," I state while lowering my gun, and I can see a small smile appear on his beautiful face.

"Thank you," he whispers and he now looks completely different to what he looked like mere seconds ago. He seems almost shy now and he looks even smaller now that his anger and demandingness are out of the way.

"What is yours?" I whisper and almost flinch as I hear the words actually leave my mouth instead of staying inside my head like I intended to.

"Jamie," he whispers back and it almost seems too good to be true.

"You are an idiot Jamie," I state while trying his name on my tongue.

"My mom used to tell me that's a good thing sometimes." And I actually feel a small smile form on my face and I have missed this feeling.

It's as if I become just a little bit less numb and I can actually feel something other then distress and depression.

"I am armed, I could have hurt you."

"But you didn't," he says before slowly turning his back on me and walking out of the shop again.

What did just happen to me?

----------

A/N: Thank you for reading please leave a comment or vote? ^^

~Noortje