February 8th 11:13am, Science
Ha. Mr. Caine thinks I’m taking notes, but I’m really just writing useless things in my diary. I feel so sneaky. I could be a ninja. They have those awesome skin-tight suits, and I’d have a good excuse to die my hair black and straighten it. And when I’m doing super secret ninja missions-
Wow, I’m popular this week. Megan’s not even in this class, and I got a note. Let’s see, it’s from…
Oh.
Do you have any gum?
It must be Brett. Only he has this messy of writing.
This really isn’t the time. Can’t you see I’m busy? Ask me later. Good Lord…
Please?
No, Brett.
Um… This isn’t Brett.
What?
Come by me again?
This is Daniel.
Oh. My. GOD! Daniel is passing notes to me? ME!? I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. That might explain why I’m hearing the Hallelujah chorus. I am so-
Mr. Caine just answered his phone, and the singing stopped. Talk about coincidence. I actually thought that was just in my head.
Anyway, should I write him back?
Of course you should write him back!
But I don’t want to seem too eager!
Fine then, tell him he has to wait for later still. That means you’ll be able to see him after class.
You’re a genius!
…Um, Nick… I’m you… I’d say that technically YOU’RE the genius, but I don’t think that’s true anymore. Especially since you’re actually recording the conversations you’re having with yourself in a diary.
I think I’m going insane. I’m actually having conversations with myself. And myself is questioning my intelligence.
Alright. Calm down. Write him back. Be cool.
That’s all I need to do. Act cool.
Yeah, whatever bro. I guess I could give you gum after class, can you dig it?
I drew a skull on the paper to intensify my coolness.
Yeah, that was cool. That was good. That’s how guys talk, right?
Yeah… OK…
YES. DANIEL COOCH IS MEETING ME AFTER CLASS.
Daniel Cooch is meeting me after class…
OH MY GOD WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO HIM!
Later, in the cafeteria
That was really disappointing. We didn’t kiss or anything.
I was being all cool and leaning against the doorframe, with my arms crossed. I could have pulled off the Hot Bad Girl thing if not for my pink T-shirt that said “Sweet-Cheeks” on it.
He walked up to me a bit timidly.
Wow, my bad girl stance must be really convincing.
“Hey…” He said, hesitantly grinning.
I think I was blinded.
Stay cool. Be cool.
No! You’re an idiot when you try to be cool! Be normal!
I though I was cool! What are you talking about!
What I’m talking about is the fact that you’re a MORON.
I think I might have been standing there for a while arguing with my self because he asked me, “Are you OK?”
I blinked up at him. “Uh… Yeah. You know, just, uh, contemplating life… and death.”
Great. I sounded emo.
He nodded uncomfortably. “Yeah… uh, you know what? I don’t need any gum. Now it’s lunch so…”
“No, no, it’s all good. Here.” I threw my package of bubblegum at his face.
He caught it, and looked at me funny. “I’ll see you later. Thanks.”
He’s gonna see me later. HE’S GONNA SEE ME LATER!
I really acted stupid. I can’t think when he’s in my presence.
Ugh.
Things to do:
1. Stop procrastinating. Just like mom says in an annoying voice, “Your homework won’t do itself.” Which I totally understand, because I won’t do homework willingly either.
2. I still need to go to Victoria’s Secret. In the meantime, do push-ups. Apparently they make your band measurement larger, “Giving the illusion of a larger bust.” Yeah. Illusion. Thanks for the confidence boost ChestEnhancingWorkouts.com.
3. Stop obsessing over Daniel. The only reason he talked to me is because he wanted gum. He probably has a disorder and needs gum to continue living. I’ll bet everyone didn’t have gum today, so he was forced to ask me. He probably was debating whether to risk communicating with me, or die. I’ll bet he only decided to ask me because he finally gave into the blinding pain the disorder was causing him. And to think I made him wait! While he was beginning to give into the darkness, and seeing his life flash before his eyes, I was worrying about the zit I found on my chin this morning. How could I be so heartless!
4. Stop overanalyzing things. Everyone else says I do, but I totally didn’t notice.
5. STOP TALKING TO MYSELF!
6. Get a boyfriend.
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Yay! I crack myself up with this story.... BAHA! Anyways, again, comment! Cause I love you! *Puppy dog eyes*
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That Witch Concerns Magic
HumorNick was satisfied with life, well, apart from her bra size, and never expected her aunt to tell her something that would have her questioning her own sanity...
