nine: what are you doing here?

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nine: what are you doing here?

⠀⠀⠀⠀I place my shaking hand onto the railing to steady my nervous self while walking down the marble stairs. In all honesty, I'm surprised I haven't fallen down or up these stairs already, but my day will come. I just know it.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs, my heart races and breathing becomes harder. I slowly make my way to the dining room located next to the kitchen. Despite all my attempts to stall, the time had come. I've reached the door, though I've walked to the side making sure nobody sees me.

Don't people always say it takes twenty seconds of courage? Only twenty seconds? I slowly build up the courage to walk in. I take one breath and use my twenty seconds of courage and walk into the dining room where my father and brother are waiting.

You did it. You walked in.

But now my courage has flown out the window. Walking into the room was one thing, but speaking to the man is a whole other. The man who is currently sitting at the head of the table stands up and walks over to where I'm standing at the door.

"Marley," the familiar voice from the phone call at the airport greets me.

"Hi, dad," I send a weak smile as my stomach feels like it might explode from the nerves.

"Look at you," he goes to touch my face, but lowers his hand. "You look just like Lauren," he sends me a sad smile. Sad? Why is he sad? He left her ten years earlier.

I put on a fake smile before nodding. "So I've been told." I reply awkwardly as he stares at me. I clear my throat. 

"Oh, sorry," he replies smiling a closed mouth smile. "Shall we eat?"

"Yes, I'm starving," Conner pipes in breaking the awkwardness in the room. Thank you, Conner.

Dad returns to the head of the table while Conner sits in the chair at the end. I sit opposite of Conner hoping this will not be the most awkward dinner, but I have a feeling it might be.

Rosaline and the other server's place our food in front of us. I stare down at the noodles covered in tomato sauce: Spaghetti.

"Thank you, Rosie," I turn in my seat slightly to thank my friend. I shoot her a look that screams help me. In response she squeezes my shoulder before exiting the dining room.

"So, Marley," my dad starts after we start eating. "How are you liking California?"

"Well," I pause trying to find the right words to use. "I like it." But it's not North Carolina.

"Good, good," he replies unsure of what to say next.

The rest of dinner continues like that: failed attempts at starting a conversation. Once we all finish dinner, dad is the first to leave bidding Conner and I a good night.

"Night," Conner and I chorus as the man who's sporting the salt and pepper look exits the room. Once he's fully out of the room, I sit back in my chair relieved.

"Well, that was fun," I state staring at Conner.

"Yep," he pops the 'p' while stretching his arms behind his head. "But you won't encounter many of those. He rarely eats dinner with us," he adds. So I've noticed.

I purse my lips thinking about the last two weeks. It makes sense. I mean, this is the first dinner we've had together. Standing up, Conner and I both head to our rooms for the night. When I reach my door I wish him a good night before entering my room.

•••

"Ryland," I yell over the noise of all the students. I push my way through the crowd and eventually make it to her locker. "Hey," I say out of breath.

"Oh, hey," my red headed friend greets me. "Ready for English?"

"Oh, yeah," I reply sarcastically. "I'm ready to listen to Mr. Richards yell at the students who didn't do the assignment, listen to him rant about how he should quit teaching, and listen to him finish by talking about something that bores me out of my mind."

"Tell me how you really feel," Ryland teases.

"Marley!" A very familiar voice calls my name as Ryland and I walk towards English. A voice that I haven't heard in about a year. I spin on my heels to find none other than my ex boyfriend from back home in North Carolina.

"Landon?" My eyes slightly widen from shock. I knew he moved to California about a year ago, but I had no idea where in California he moved to.

It's a small world. Unfortunately.

The blonde catches up to me. Ryland sends me a look telling me she wants to know all the details later.

"I'm going to ask Rachel something. I'll see you in English," she calls before heading over to one of her other friends.

"So, what are you doing here?" Landon questions me while we walk towards my English class.

"I moved here two weeks ago." I step aside allowing one of the freshman who was running to class by.

"Really? What happened?" He tilts his head to look at me.

"Well, you know that I was living with Grandma Anne after the, you know." He sends me a knowing look. "And she had to move into an assisted living home due to her health. The government deemed her unfit to care for me, and, since I'm sixteen, they contacted my father who lives here. I had to pack my bags and move," I make a long story short.

"Oh," he shoots me a look almost as if he doesn't believe me. "Well, I hope Grandma Anne's health doesn't decrease more." I laugh at his horrible condolence. He's never been the best to condole someone when they needed it.

"Thanks, Lan," I say not realizing I used his nickname. One that I only called him when we were dating. I bite my lip not making eye contact.

"Mar," he grabs my shoulder causing me to stop walking and to look at him. "I know it's been a long time, and things didn't work out because of my move." He scratches the back of his neck. "Could we try again?"

One word to explain how I'm feeling: shocked.

Absolutely and utterly shocked.

"Landon, are...we just," I pause collecting my thoughts. "That's not the only reason we broke up, Landon. And we literally have been talking for two minutes after not seeing each other for about a year." I probably have a crazy expression on my face. I'm shocked. I'm confused. I don't understand.

"Don't say that, Mar," his eyes search mine. "We were great together. We can make it work."

"I'm sorry, Landon, I can't." I turn around and rush to English class wanting to escape.

He can't just waltz back into my life and think that everything is okay. That what he did doesn't matter anymore. That everything is rainbows and unicorns when in reality it's cloudy and rainy.

Well, I'm sorry, Landon. In the words of Taylor Swift...

It's too late for you and your white horse to come around.

author's note

Ooh. Welcome to the story, Mr. Parker and Landon.

Hehe.

Pictured: Landon

Whatcha think?

Also, random question: how did you find my book? Just curious. :p

I hope y'all had a very Merry Christmas! I wasn't going to post this chapter till next week, but it's my Christmas present to you!

I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to answer my question. ^ ;p

With love,

.j

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