pretty | namjoon

i

i panted heavily as i continued to jog on the treadmill. beads of perspiration has already cascaded down my face even though i just jogged for approximately five minutes only.

my breathing was becoming heavier and heavier as i kept on jogging. but i wasn't going to stop, in fact, i'm never going to until i've already jogged for about 20 minutes. i only have one goal in my mind right now.

and that is to become slim.

i've always envied those skinny girls, like how do they maintain their figure? i tried eating less but i always ended up starving myself which wasn't good. whenever i see someone that is of the same age as me slimmer than me, my self-esteem immediately drops to the bottom. well, in the first place, i don't even have a self-esteem to start with.

i've eaten a lot when i was young, which results me in being fat now. all my cousins and relatives, are really slim as well so whenever i go to a family meeting, i would always hide myself in one corner and not dare to speak.

everything i wear was so ugly. i can't even fit in a dress or skirt even with the biggest size in the shop. even if i could, my fat legs won't make me look pretty in it.

and that is why i'm trying so hard to slim down. i want to look pretty in front of everyone. i want to look pretty in front of my crush. i'm even ashamed that my crush is slimmer than me.

i looked back at the numbers displaying at the treadmill and it read 7 minutes. what?! i've only ran 2 extra minutes?!

unable to feel my legs anymore, i pressed the button to slow down the speed on the treadmill and it returned to normal walking speed.

i turned to right and was greeted by a sight of a very slim girl, dressed in sports bra and a black tights. her stomach was flat, very flat. unlike mine who's practically like a stuffed chicken. her face has the v-shape, and her hair looks so silky too. while mine? my face is round shape like a chicken nugget and my hair is very, very rough. i can't even comb my whole hand through it.

there goes my self-esteem, vanishing in the thin air like it's not gonna come back again.

•••

i detest school. it was the place that made me insecure the most. all of the girls in my batch are slim and tall, while i'm short and fat. i'm really nothing compared to them.

now, i'm walking in the hallway. and again, people kept on giving me the judging looks because of my figure. i was used to it, but it still hurts me deep down.

"jimin hyung!" a voice echoed, and jeon jungkook came rushing to park jimin.

i stared at jimin who was right in front of me. his eyes, nose, lips. everything about him seems perfect to me. i'm so fat compared to him. of course, he won't ever like me. i'm just a fat and ugly girl.

actually, he was really the main reason why i wanted to slim down. i really want him to notice me. but every time, he would pass by me like i'm air and i'm non-existent. it hurts a lot, really. but i've been hurt enough that pain is even numb to me now.

"yah jae hee!"

it was my best friend who just greeted me. my one and only best friend. i really cherish her a lot, because she was the one who approached me and be my friends with me. nobody wanted to befriend me because of my appearance. but she decided to do that and now we are best friends.

i've always asked why she wanted to befriend me, but she just simply say, 'just because', which shuts me up because i don't want to ask another further.

"hey soo kyung!" i replied back cheerfully. soo kyung, like the other girls, was every guy's ideal type. slim, tall and pretty. basically again, opposite of me. i really feel like i'm very low whenever i'm beside her.

"how are you?" she chirped, as she sling her arms around my shoulder, or at least she tried. she almost fell while walking beside me because my fats were pratically pressed against her.

"i'm sorry soo kyung-ah," i apologized frantically. soo kyung just reassured me with a smile and told me it's okay.

another reason for me to slim down. if not, i will cause the person who was walking beside me to fall.

-

i hope this will turn out good omg

anyways i'll try to update fast on this because i'm still writing it :)

i hope the first chapter wasn't boring. i think namjoon will appear in the 2nd or 3rd chapter i guess