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My life is far from normal

For one, I live in an orphanage.

And two, I don't speak. Ever.

I'll admit, It's a bit extreme to never talk to anyone, but it makes sense to me. I was always shy, always afraid of screwing things over, so this is my solution. If I don't talk, I can't mess things up. Simple.

Another habit of mine is blasting music through my headphones to keep people from approaching me. It's easier if I just shut myself out of the world completely than to face what a depressing life I have. I also don't have to make an effort to write down what I want to say.

because I'm lazy af...

Here at the orphanage, our entire lives are controlled by schedules and counselors. We all get our own room, considering that not many teenagers live here, and we all get breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Other than that, this place is a hëll hole.

At a mere 15 years of life on this cruel world, I've learned that death is always around you. For example, a couple of the kids are here due to there parents/guardians death - this includes me. Also, everyone dies at some point, obviously, it's just the way it goes.

However, it's not death that's the real tragedy, it's what dies within you while you're still alive.

Deep, I know.

Therefor - considering that one of my favorite songs is Terrible Things by MayDay Parade - Love is bad, friendships are bad, and interaction is bad. Basically anything that could possibly cause/lead to heartbreak is a no go for me.

If I don't talk, then it lessens my chances of this happening.

It also helps that I'll probably be stuck in this place until I'm eighteen.

Go me.

"Evelyn! Hello? I am speaking to you," Karen, one of our counselors, says, waving her polished fingernails in my face.

I immediately recoil at the sound of her calling me by my full name. Legit makes me sound like a grandma... But that might just be due to the fact that Evelyn was my Grandma's name.

'Listening' I scribble onto my whiteboard before showing her. I'm surprised she could actually read it.

"We gotta go downstairs, a family is looking to adopt," She quickly looks at her clipboard before continuing, "a girl in her mid teens... Quite specific..."

I curtly nod, knowing the procedure of meeting the family, getting questionable looks, and then getting rejected. Honestly, I could care less about getting passed up, it just means that I don't have to make any personal connections with anyone.

After losing my family, I'm petty sure if my heart shattered anymore than it already has, so would I.

"Let's go Hun, we don't have all day," Karen mumbles, rolling her eyes.

Before leaving my room, I grab my phone along with it's headphones from the table, just in case things get boring. I then pull my hair from it's high pony just so that I can hide my face behind it. Shy girl alert.

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