Un-Predictable

{ Chapter 46 }

"Yes he is, Elliana and I met him at the front desk when we first arrived. In fact he took us up here to you" He said I felt butterflies swirl in my stomach just knowing he was here, but then I felt guilty for the fact he was here because of me and what I've done, just like all the times before.

I'm such a terrible girlfriend.

"Can I see him?" I ask Leo, he nods before walking out of the room leaving me with Ivan and Elliana.

"Look Brienne, it's okay we understand this is all very strange to you and we know it will take you sometime but just know we are so happy to see our Brienne again. We are here for you and will guide you through this" Elliana said giving me a small smile as Ivan wrapped his arm around Elliana's waist and nods before they both walked out of the room just as Jayden entered.

He turned and closed the door before leaning against it with his arms crossed. He was wearing a grey hoodie and a pair of black shorts. He looked angry but tired.

"Come here" I say quietly. He looks up and stares at me, taking in every bandage and cut on me

"I can't" he replies "I can't do this anymore" he says pulling his hair. He's frustrated.

"What are you saying?" I ask worried.

"I'm sick of it Brienne.I'm sick of you always running away from me only to end up hurting yourself. Only to put us back where we began in a stupid hospital room" he states.

I knew this day would come just hoped it never would.

"I know" I say with my head down. "But it's not my fault that every time things are going good bad shit happens" I state.

"Not your fault? Are you kidding me your a god damn magnet when it comes to bad shit happening. It's not normal Brienne how many times we've ended up in a hospital room with you always being the one hurt. It's just become toxic and I'm always the one standing on the sidelines like a lost puppy knowing I couldn't have done anything to save you. I'm sick of being the helpless boyfriend" He says raising his voice and pacing.

"Wow seriously? coming from the one with the god damn anger issues, always throwing shit causing a riot and violence. Don't act innocent Jayden. At least I ran away from the people I didn't want to hurt" I snapped back wincing once I lifted my head, I adjusted the angle of the bed so I was sitting up right quickly taking note of the cast on my leg before I stared straight into his eyes with a glare.

"At least I can fucking accept I have issues and deal with them MYSELF instead of being a burden and dumping them on others who are completely oblivious. Oh and if you thought running away would protect the people you didn't want to hurt, you are so wrong. If anything all it does is cause stress and anxiety. So don't you dare think for one second you were being a fucking saviour" He spat getting louder and breathing heavily as he pulled at his hair.

My vision became blurred as the tears slid there way down my face.

"Well thanks for highlighting my flaws" I clipped.

"You are just so fucking frustrating you know that!, It's suppose to be MY JOB to protect you!, MY JOB to be there for you!, MY JOB to save you!. That's what a boyfriend does. Relationships work with two people Brienne not one!. All you want to do is push people away, and it's selfish, so fucking selfish Brienne. It's always about YOU and how YOU'VE gone missing or how YOU'VE been hurt. You know if you weren't so fucking deranged and damaged as a person you could actually be home in Cali fucking fornia right now with your sister who is pregnant by the way. But I guess you'll never see things that way will you? You'll never see how all of this could have been avoided. Because your nothing but a torturous fucking selfish nightmare of a person." He yelled stone cold, body tense with clenched fists and messy hair as he glared at me letting out a frustrated breath.

"Just so you know if it weren't for your horny brothe--" I start to say but my voice fails to continue as all my mind keeps doing is replaying the last sentence he said to me.

"How-co-- Is that what you really think of me?" I say muffled. As I stare into his eyes through my blurred ones as the tears splash rapidly onto my hand as I hold it over my mouth in disbelief. His eyes remain cold in emotion, with a quick change to another emotion I can't quite pick up on before switching to just blank. He holds the eye contact with me, his posture loosing tension while his face fades to blank as he slowly approaches towards me.

My eyes burn from the amount of tears that are dripping down my face, I'm too caught up in the words he said to me that keep repeating over and over to notice his hand caress my cheek. I pull back once it sets in that his hand is touching my face before speaking.

"No! don't you dare touch me" I say my voice not even sounding like my own, I sound timid. Am I scared? He blinks a few times before pulling back quickly at a loss for words as I see his mouth open and close.

"Brienne " He begins to say softly but get's cut off by the loud echo of the phone, making me jump.

What he said hurt, really fucking hurt but he's right, he's right about all of it and I can't argue. I'm in the wrong and I have to accept that.

I turn my head away from him allowing the numb feeling to seep into my body as I cradle my body with my arms, hiding my face deeper into the pillow. I'm ashamed and angry at myself for allowing this but most of all I'm sorry..

"What it's not a good time" I hear him snap into the phone loosing the soft tone he had before continuing "What?....Now?... fuck.. shit..okay... ill be there as soon as possible.. .stay calm alright be strong for her she needs you.. okay bye I'll text you later" He said through the phone before hanging up and looking at me warily.

"Julie's in labor" he says quite bluntly.

I turn my head away from my dark hole and stare wide eyed "Of course she is" I say annoyed "I can't just stay here Jayden" I say looking at his blue eyes.

He sighs heavily and pulls at his hair before speaking.

"Brienne look at yourself. Your going nowhere. You've done this to yourself and it's time you lie in it. No more fighting it. Life has a way of showing us things we might not have seen or realized before and I guess this is it's way of showing you. I will look after her, I promise" He states pity clear in his voice.

"Just go.....If Julie asks where I am tell her you couldn't get in contact with me, I don't want her to know the truth" I say defeated, no fight left in me. He nods, glancing at me with such a swirl of emotions before he walks out of the room.

Fresh tears begin sliding down my dry ones as my body shakes violently. My breathing hitched through each sob. I've officially lost everything that held me up. Jayden, Julie, once she finds out I won't be there, I've even lost Alec and lastly I've lost who I am. Won't be long before I loose Elliana, Ivan and Leo too.

My world has fallen to my feet scattered everywhere and the only one to blame is myself....

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Hi All!

Sorry it took longer than it should of but thank you to all those who've waited.

Bit of an intense chapter but I hope you like it

Love you all

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~ ToxicnWild xx