"You don't know how much you helped me grow. You've helped me grow, baby, and you don't know how much I've been tryna show you. I know you felt me though."
-Bryson Tiller
N O R I A H :
"Here you go," Odell entered my room with a bowl and coffee mug.
I nodded satisfyingly, impressed with his endearing gestures. Accepting the items, I noticed a tea bag string hanging out the mug and mixtures of fruit in the bowl.
"It's chamomile," he informed me as I sat everything at my side."Your favorite."
"Thank you," I smiled small and pulled my glasses down. I clasped my black ink pen in my hand preparing to write in my meditation journal. I loved filling in the blanks because I was discovering myself in every aspect- human, woman, lover and friend.
"You're welcome, babe." Odell climbed on the bed, careful not to wake Sonny, and pecked my nose. His minty breath ascended up my nose and lingered there even after he pulled away.
Odell has an obsession with brushing his teeth multiple times a day and chewing gum. I understood he wanted his breath to smell pleasant but, I was afraid if he continued to do it so excessively he would have no more enamel by the time he was thirty.
"What does it mean to love yourself?" I read a question aloud to myself, chewing on a mandarin wedge. I pondered shortly, coming up with an answer.
Accepting my flaws. Nourishing my soul with positivity. Respecting and honoring myself. Allowing myself the space to grow. Guiding my heart and mind to peace and happiness. Aligning my life with my worth.
Today My Intentions Are:
1.Resting.
2..Thanking God for my capacity to endure and my resilience.
3.Thanking the universe for allowing those who are meant to be, to be.
What warms your soul and ignites your passion?
Love. Music. Art. Poetry.
"I'm sorry it feels like World War 3 in your uterus." Odell apologized but was yet mocking my prior words to him. "At least you know you're not pregnant." He shrugged, aiming to be positive.
"You have to have sex to get pregnant." I scoffed. My sex life was nonexistent. But it was that way by choice.
"If you don't mind me asking, when was the last time you...ya know?"
"We are not havin' this conversation." I pulled the covers up over my body, turning my back to him.
Odell would laugh in my face if he knew he was the last person I'd fornicated with.
"Come on, is it that bad, Jae?" I could hear the smile form on his face. He scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my waist.
A smile crept on my lips as he pecked my collar bone repeatedly. "Imma keep botherin' you 'til you tell me."
"Odell, move." I feigned being annoyed or else I was gonna laugh at how cute his nuisance ways were.
"Just tell me how long it's been. A week? A month?"
"Our last quickie that evenin' before you left for practice." I blurted. He erupted into laughter. But it ceased once he reopened his eyes, seeing my grave facial expression.
"You serious..." He said more as a statement instead of question. He backed away from me to examine my face. "Uh..yeah, I am. Quit lookin' at me like that." My eyebrows were raised as I waited for him to stop staring at me like I suddenly grew two heads. I was embarrassed enough that I had basically been partaking in celibacy. I'm twenty-three, I'm in my prime. I should be out broadening my horizons.
