So sorry for not updating earlier!! I've been loaded with work but I think I can try to fit in an update during winter break!! As usual, enjoy. ;)
And not once have I heard or seen Ray. I am positive on the fact that she is done with me. It doesn't matter though, she's just another Scar.
Another Scar you're obsessed with.
"I am not fucking obsessed with her,!" I grit my teeth, hunched over my desk. Maps and letters lay scattered in front of me, screaming for me to look at them.
I glance at the corner of the desk, the unread note that Rose gave to me. I've yet to read it, but I never have the chance. It seems like anytime I try, I'm hit with some new problem to take care of. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the one with the upper-hand in power. Ethan would have been such a better leader than I.
Just as I thought, a knock comes at the door as I try reaching for the note. What a surprise.
"Knock knock." I look up to see Ethan leaning against the door frame.
I haven't spoken to him since his lecture, aside from a few comments and such. To be honest, I half expected him to be mad at me. I guess I didn't know how bad my situation was until he pointed it out for me.
"Was just looking at these maps.." I clear my throat, pushing myself off the desk. He nods, looking anywhere but me.
"I got a notice from Xeng." Ethan says as I start to gather the mess of papers. My head snapped up, curious to know what he said.
Every time I asked Xeng to plan a meeting, he never replied. I've asked three times before, but the answer was the same. No reply. Although, now that the selfish idiot has realized even taking from others won't help him, he decides to talk. What a fucking retard.
"What did he say?" I frown, walking with Ethan out the door. I close it behind me, hearing the lock click.
"He says he wants some of our resources." Ethan turns to me with a concerned look. "In return, we get peace."
"No." I say flatly, before turning around. Sadly, Ethan is quick to grab my shoulder and make me face him.
"No, stop. You don't understand, we need this. We can't just keep fighting and fighting..pretty soon our army out there is going to start to weaken. Let them have what they want." Ethan tries to persuade me, but it does no good. I've made up my mind already.
"Why? So that we don't have any resources left for us? And besides, if our army is getting "weaker" like you said, then just call them back." I snap, finally leaving him before he has the chance to reply.
I can't stand Xeng and his stupid negotiations. He may think he's smart, but I know very well what he's trying to do. I pass scurrying people, some almost running into me. As I walk through a hall, I see Andrea up ahead.
"Good evening sir, do you need anything?" She asks with a bright smile, almost too bright.
"No thanks Andrea." I reply, nodding and walking past her. But I suddenly stop, an idea forming in my head. Maybe I can ask her about Trent..
"Actually," I call again, making her turn around. I walk up to her, the curiosity growing inside of me.
"Have you heard anything about Trent?" I stress his name, trying to see if I can gauge a reaction from her.
And it works.
A small flicker of emotion passes her face and causes her eyes to slightly widen before she returns to her normal happy face. But it's too late, and it's not hard to tell that something's up.
"Well, if you mean military wise, he's been training his soldiers well. If there is any problem from there I can report it back to you." She answers, making small gestures to seem convincing.
"Thanks." I reply shortly, before turning and walking away. I walk with a small smile playing at my lips. I got exactly what I was hoping for. I know she's staring at me, I know she's pissed off, and I know she's untrustworthy. But I need to know why.
I finally reach the locked door, pulling a key out of my pocket as I unlock it and step inside. The air was musty, old. Not a single sound was heard other than the groan of the door hinges moving and my boots against the floor. In front of me stood the glass dome wall, green foliage completely masking the other ones made of stone. Small weeds and patches of grass that forced their way up through the concrete littered the floor. It was a peaceful and calming sight.
I stand on the platform, seeing my breath fog the cold glass. Sometimes all I need is the feeling of being secluded.
"I like this place. It's pretty." I hear Rose's faint voice behind me. Well there goes being peaceful and alone.
"Me too." I say, turning around with a frown. She mirrors my face, standing with her arms behind her back.
"You should go back to Andrea. You're supposed to stay with her, It's-" I check my watch, seeing the time.
"Already 2100 hours." I look at her.
She rolls her eyes before turning around. "Fine. But I don't really like Andrea." She says as she walks away.
"Neither do I.." I mumble, watching her red hair swing back and forth as she leaves.
I could just make Andrea leave, put her in the dungeons, hell, I could even exile her if I wanted to. Except, I know I can't do any of that. She'll spread rumors, say things about me that no one else knows.
Like what happened in New Jersey.
Horrible flashes of what went on in New Jersey with my family run through my mind. A cold chill runs up my spine, settling into my bones and casting a dark mood around me.
It wasn't my fault. It wasn't. None of it was.
Fuck, who am I kidding. No one would have gotten hurt if I wasn't here. Mom. Dad. Cameron. Dead. Because I wanted to join and help The Compound. And what's worse is that Ethan tagged along, making me drag him into the midst of all the chaos.
Maybe one day I'll finally realize that it's not all my fault, that maybe I'm innocent. But that day isn't today, or any time soon.
I take a deep breath, slowly letting it out before turning and leaving. Locking the door behind me. The hallways are dark, except for the electric blue lights that run through the wall. I manage to stay quiet as I pass numerous pods occupied with sleeping soldiers. There is an eerie silence, an empty and dead feeling enveloping me. Today seems like quite a depressing day. Actually, the past week has.
And I could only guess why..
Oh god. Oh god. Am I seriously implying that she's the reason why I've been like this? That Ray is the cause of this past week?
Ok. I get it. I do. I'm just caught up in this sea of sadness, causing me to think like this. I'm sad about what I did to Ray. It happens.
It really doesn't, Grayson.
It does. When you're sad about something, you tend to start missing things. You start feeling alone. It's normal. I'm positive that everyone else acts this way, it's not just me.
I miss Ray.
I feel alone.
YOU ARE READING
Lust // g.d.Romance
The Arctic. A place of desolation, emptiness, coldness. Yet here thrives an army that seeks solutions for the world that has now fallen under a resource fatigue. Ray, a seventeen year old girl is simply a soldier, yet she becomes part of the main pr...