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When I was eighteen I never got hangovers – now I just can’t seem to get enough of them.
I woke up Saturday morning in a strange place with the usual ‘where the hell am I?’ thoughts running through my pounding head. I could feel someone using my stomach as a human pillow and looking down I saw some random guy cosied into my belly on the couch where I was passed out.
Where the hell am I? lifting my head up slightly I looked around to see what I think was the living room covered in people – some I recognized and others I didn’t have a clue who the hell they were- including the guy fucking lying on me.
Grabbing his hair I pulled his head up to give me enough room to move but the guy didn’t even wake up. He looked vaguely familiar, I think he’s one of Leanne’s friends. Talking about Leanne, where the hell is the bitch? She better not have fucking ditched me.
I swung my legs off the sofa, hitting a couple lying at the bottom with my heels but they only stirred and moved into the empty space. How did we even manage to fit four people of this sofa?
Looking around the room, I spotted one of my friends Nate sleeping on the other couch and got of the seat landing on the floor hard and clawing my way up the carpet to him. There was a guy passed out on the floor still holding his drink upright even though he was snoring like a caveman. I don’t know if it was the fact I was still half pissed or what but just the sight of it made me wanna shake his hand.
He might be a lightweight passed out on the floor but the guy hadn’t spilled a drop. I have a cheek to call anyone a lightweight right now – I swear to god I am having major blanks from last night right now. How much did I even drink last night?
“Nate?” I hissed, collapsing against the sofa and shaking him.
“goway,” he mumbled, trying to push my hands away.
“Nate wake up,” I whipered fiercely, shaking him even harder.
I needed to know where the hell I was and how I got here wouldn’t go amiss either.
“What? What’s up?” he slurred sleepily, lifting his head up and rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Where are we?” I asked, pushing myself to my feet and collapsing on top of him on the sofa.
Every muscle in my body was aching and it made me wonder just how many times I’d managed to fall on my ass last night. Last night – the last thing I remember is being in Liquid nightclub.
He made a loud hmph sound, probably from the fact I was now sitting on his back using him as a sofa, and muttered, “I don’t know” before letting his head drop back onto the armrest.
“Nate,” I whined – if I had to make him get up I would.
“Seriously Emma you’re killing me here,” he choked out, his voice muffled against the cushion pressed into his face.
“Well get up.”
To emphasize my point I started jumping slightly on his back but gave up after a few seconds when I felt my stomach moving queasily.
“Ok I’m up,” Nate snapped, lifting himself slightly so I’d get off him.
“What the hell happened last night? I don’t remember fuck all?” I asked him, standing to let him sit up then dropping into the space his legs were seconds ago.
How the hell did I have to share my sofa with three complete strangers and this jammy bastard got one all to himself?
“We’re in Mikey’s. You came down about four after Liquid,” Nate explained, messing his hair up.
“I don’t even remember that,” I told him in a hushed voice.
“Well you were pretty fucked. You staggered in with a bottle of Bacardi and started downing it straight before you passed out on the sofa.”
“Oh my god no way,” I exclaimed. “Where did I even get a bottle of Bacardi from?”
“Oh, supposedly Leanne flashed the guy in the off-license up the road to get served after 10.”
“Please tell me I didn’t too,” I cried, leaning down and hiding my face in his t-shirt.
“Nah it was just Leanne – you were taking the piss out of her all night for it – well, for about an hour until you passed out.”
As far as embarrassing night’s out go – I think this would have to take its rightful place up there with some of the worst. Talk about mortifying.
“Where is Leanne?”
“Dave ended up coming and dragging her up the road. You better give her a phone by the way, they were fighting like cat and dog before they left,” he answered, getting up and making his way through to the kitchen.
Now that I looked around more closely, I recognized the living room vaguely. I’d been in here a few times before for parties, but this was my first time waking up on the sofa. Thank god I usually make it home at least before I K’O. But I’d practically grew up with Nate and Mickey, I even went to primary school with them so I knew they wouldn’t ever let anything happen to me.
It was just a minter ya know? I already know I’ll be crowned lightweight champion for this weekend.
“What were they fighting about?” I asked him, following him through to the kitchen where he was getting a glass of water.
That’s exactly what I need right now, water - and maybe something greasy and fattening.
“Something about Dave going home and finding Jenna sleeping on the sofa,” he explained, handing me the glass over.
I couldn’t help but snort out a laugh. Shit, I bet he wasn’t a happy camper when he found her. It’s no secret that I don’t like Dave – I think he’s a complete asshole and I would happily castrate him if I thought I could get away with it; but I don’t think Leanne would ever speak to me again if I did. So instead I tolerated him in my own lovely way for her benefit but I’m telling you the minute they split up I will be at his door with a baseball bat.
“What did he do?” I asked meaning Jenna.
“Shoved her in a taxi home. Then came straight up here to drag Leanne home. I swear to god the way he was speaking to her was fucking shocking – James, Reese and Sam had to literally hold me and Mickey back from fleeing on the prick.”
I didn’t have a clue who these guys were but I just nodded my head anyway and downed the rest of the water handing it back to Nate.
“Could you do me a huge favor and phone me a taxi while I look for my bag?” I asked Nate, staggering slightly back into the living-room and searching for the clutch I’d had last night.
I only managed to find it after rolling the guy who had been using me as a pillow over to see it squashed down the side. Pulling it out, I quickly opened it to check my phone and keys were still in there while Nate called a cab to come and pick me up.
I really needed to get home before I collapsed on the floor and decided not to move ‘till Sunday.
Grabbing my phone to check the time, I noticed two new messages on my phone. One was from Leanne telling me she felt rough sent at 10am, about an hour ago. The other was from my new stalker and bff telling me to phone him asap.
Why the hell would I want to phone him? What, so he can shout at me for giving him his ten minutes of fame in the limelight last night – nah I’ll pass thanks. I know he’ll want to get me back for that – but thankfully me and Leanne bolted out of that pub quickly after his screeching version of ‘like a virgin’ and I didn’t see him again all night. Well, I don’t think I saw him again all night – I’ll have to check with Leanne on that one.
Either way there was no way in hell I was calling him in this state. Strike that, there’s no way I’m calling him at all.
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my boss's arrogant sonHumor
Emma hates her work period. Apart from the whole having to drag her ass out of bed every morning, she has her demanding boss shouting at her every few minutes and the other office idiots to deal with. Just when she thinks things can't get any wors...