He didn't remember passing out, But he must have, because he woke up in a room he had seen countless times since the second grade. He was piled under mountains of blankets, but more than that, what came to his attention was the warm presence beside him, breathing in and out, ever so softly. He knew the sound of those deep breaths, and while their identity and his location didn't match up, Niall was certain he knew who it was.
"Liam?" His voice was soft and sounded almost broken in the quiet house. It occurred to him after he spoke that maybe he shouldn't have woken Liam, that maybe he needed the sleep, but it was too late to take his actions back because Liam was already stirring.
He turned over, his body moving the blankets that still rested on top of them. He faced Niall, his eyes half open, and shot awake at the sight of the clear blue in Nialls eyes.
"Niall!" He exclaimed.
He pulled Niall into his arms, and Niall didn't comment on the way his arm seemed to burn. It felt nice to be in Liam s arms for a second, to forget the world and just cherish his warmth. The moment didn't last year-long enough, and Niall found himself wishing for Liam's warmth only seconds after he pulled away. Niall didn't want to ruin the moment, so he didn't even bring up the fact that they were in Louis' room. The less questions he asked, the longer he could just bask in how well his body seemed to fit together with Liam's
"I was so worried Niall," Liam s voice broke and he grabbed Nialls hand, clamping it tightly. "You sounded so upset when you called, and then you hung up and I didn't know what to do. It seemed like ages before Louis called and said that some boy called him and that he had found you alone in some alley and brought you to his house. And then Louis' mom kept insisting you were okay, but I was still so worried, and I'm sorry I slept next to you, but I just couldn't fall asleep without your heartbeat close enough to reassure me that you were still alive. "
Liam was talking fast, and Niall could tell he was on the verge of tears. He looked so sincere, so truthful, as if maybe he really did mean what he said and maybe he really did care, Even now that he knew of Nialls affections for him.
"I'm sorry." Niall didn't really know what he was apologizing for, But he did know that Liam deserved an apology. He had put the poor boy through a lot, more than someone as beautiful as Liam ever deserved to go through.
Liam sighed, and Niall could feel the rise and fall of his chest even though they weren't touching. Just being close to one another seemed to create and impenetrable bond that connected them deeper than their being.
"Niall, I'm not mad at you. But I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared."
Niall knew something was wrong when Liam cursed. He hadn't known Liam for very long, but he had learned that he hated cursing. Not passionately, it just made him uncomfortable. And for the past week, any time Louis had cursed, He had mutter under his breath That cursing was bad. If Liam cursed, something was seriously wrong.
"I don't like the thought of losing you Niall, and I don't like that you still want to hurt yourself. Louis found you in time this time, but he won't always be around to save you, and that scares me more than anything in the world."
Niall hated Liam for saying Louis wouldn't always be there to save him, mostly because he knew Liam was right. Louis had been his best friend forever, and maybe that would remain the truth forever. But the fact of the matter was, Louis had Harry, and he didn't have time to run off playing hero to Niall. He had protected him for years, but instead of becoming more independent, Niall had broken down right as Louis needed his freedom most. He was nothing but a burden to all of them, and he remembered why he had tried to end it all. He didn't want to die, he had decided that when the felt the warmth of Liam's arms wrap around him, but he also knew that the world would be better off without him.
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Silent Cries (Niam)Fanfiction
Niall is hurting in the inside. Everyday, the pain just gets a little bit worse. Will anyone notice? Will anyone care? Will anyone hear his silent cries? (Trigger Warning: Includes self harm, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts)