For Him - Shawn Mendes

YOU return home

SHAWN

27th of October, 2015

I brush my thumb along the top of the rock, the fluid edges soft against the palm of my hand. I skim it, watching as it skips across the water, three easy dances before falling with a splash. I haven't written in my diary in almost a month, but only because I've been working on something for Hannah. And then she dumped me.

Which, guaranteed, I deserved.

On the grass of the riverbank beside me, my phone illuminates. I ignore the text, looking up at the bridge to my right as I wonder why it felt wrong as I slipped my legs through it half an hour ago - and then I remember it's because this is our spot.

Curiosity kills me and I peer down at my phone, the message from Andrew expected but still a shock. I don't know whether to be excited or scared.

Andrew: Flights are booked, meeting is arranged. Be at the airport by 11, no later. I hope this is worth cancelling 4 shows.

I gulp, a fistful of grass clenched in my left hand. This is happening - finally. I stand up, get back on my putrid green bike and pedal towards Hannah's house, knowing if I don't do this now, I'll never gain the courage.

Her sister opens the door with a smile, a phone pressed between her shoulder and ear. She has a hair towel wrapped around her head, and I can't help but notice, now that she's older, the vast amount of similarities she shares with her older sister. I smile internally at how much she's grown.

"Hey," She says, hanging up on whoever was on the phone, "God, I'm glad you're finally here - it's been hard keeping it from her. I'm allowed to come, right?"

I laugh, my tongue pressed against my front teeth. "Of course, and Noah too. You'll have to ask your parents, though."

Chloe nods, a fist bump in the air - and I know she already has. She calls for her sister loudly, before returning to face me, eyes calm and warm. She disappears for a second, returning with a pink sweater. "Aaliyah left her hoodie here last night," She smiles, handing it to me.

I take it in my hands, just as Hannah bounces down the last stair. I find an odd sense of satisfaction in knowing that even if my plan fails, Chloe's close friendship with Aaliyah will somehow grant me the opportunity to come to their house. I crinkle my nose at how creepy it sounds.

Hannah's eyes widen as she peers at me from the staircase. She inches forward, lips pressed firmly together in a way that shows she's choking back a smile.

"Shawn, what are you doing here?" She asks, her words reminding me once again that me being distant from her has torn away my right to stand in her house. But she doesn't know yet.

I try to stand with confidence, as if I am 100% sure that this will work. "I know I've been shit to you," I say, watching as she inches closer with each word, "but I want to show you I still care."

"I missed you." She shakes her head, taking a step back after realising how close she's grown towards me. I can almost feel the pain in her eyes as reality finds it's way back into her mind. "You forgot my birthday."

I want to tell her that I never forgot her birthday. I want to tell her that this was suppose to happen on her birthday, and that the contract only ended yesterday. I want to tell her how long all of this took to plan - but I don't want to ruin the surprise.

"I have something for you." I bite my bottom lip, calming only as Chloe shoots me a reassuring smile from the hallway as she slowly backs away.

Hannah crosses her arms over her chest, pulling at her knit sweater shyly. "Shawn..."