The Doctor's Last Christmas

Chapter 1 Preparing for Christmas

"No, no, no!" the Doctor exclaimed. "We are not cooking a turkey in the TARDIS"
"But why not?" replied Clara.
"Surely it would be better cooking it in the flat?"
The Doctor had made available to Clara, Rose's old flat, though as she was now travelling with the Doctor on a semi-permanent basis, and still helping out the Maitlands from time to time, she rarely stayed there.
"Doctor, I'm very grateful for the flat, but it doesn't feel like home. My home. Our home. There are too many ghosts there, I feel like I'm intruding into somebody else's house. This is the first Christmas when I've been away from home, and I want it to be special."
"So, why aren't you going back to your father's this year"
"He's gone away on a cruise this Christmas, hoping to meet a rich widow I think! He seemed to think I'd want to spend Christmas here this year anyway, with my, in his words, Doctor boyfriend."
"Fine, but you're not cooking the turkey in here!"
"You're worried about the TARDIS aren't you?"
"Well, to be fair, after your last disastrous attempt to make a soufflé, and resulting fire, the TARDIS was so put out she hid the kitchen for two days. Two whole days! Most inconvenient, I couldn't even boil an egg."
"Who's in charge here, you or the TARDIS?"
"An interesting question, one I've never really managed to definitely answer. On the one hand, I am..."
"Well it's up to you" Clara interrupted, "either I cook Christmas dinner here or not at all. I'm sure you'll enjoy your beans on toast alone in the TARDIS!"
And with that Clara stormed out of the TARDIS, followed by the Doctor.
"Stop!" cried out the Doctor "ok you win, you can cook the turkey in the TARDIS"
"Oh, thank you!" Clara beamed in delight as she ran to hug the Doctor, something that wasn't unpleasant he had to admit, and probably worth the hassle the TARDIS would give him. Clara was looking particularly cute today, he pondered, with a very stylish cardigan with bow ties on, which surely wasn't an accident, and quite a tight skirt on that definitely suited her, and...
"Have you ever cooked a turkey before?" asked Clara, interrupting his thoughts "My father always cooks it at home, he's a surprisingly good cook in fact, my main role is peeling the vegetables."
"No, but I've cooked chicken before, and it can't be much different. I make a mean stuffing too! I'm sure we can work it out between us. Hopefully"
"Ok, I'll leave the stuffing to you. As look as it doesn't contain fish fingers and custard! I'll go and collect it now from the flat, it's in the fridge. You can put the Christmas decorations up if you like."
While Clara was away, the Doctor wondered where he had put the Christmas decorations. He went to the room where he thought they were kept, and they weren't there. To be more precise, the room wasn't there.
"Have you hidden the room?" he asked the TARDIS. "I know you're not happy about Clara cooking in here, but that's something you'll just have to live with. Now put back the room with the decorations please."
The TARDIS made a grumbling noise, but gave in to the Doctor's request. The Doctor entered the room and retrieved a large trunk full of assorted decorations, which he had accumulated over the years, and carried it with some difficulty back to the console room. Looking out of the window he saw Clara in the distance, struggling with a large turkey in a baking tray. Sensing she needed a hand, he strode across the grass to help her.
"Do you need a hand?"
"No, I'm fine" but the tone of her voice gave away the struggle she was having with the large bird. The Doctor moved behind her, and gently managed to take hold of both Clara's hands and the baking tray. It was a surprisingly intimate moment, considering they were holding a large turkey in a field.
"Thank you Doctor. It was getting a bit heavy." The Doctor's grip was very reassuring, and not just in preventing the bird from falling. Clara felt safe with him near. She also felt other feelings about the Doctor, but pushed them to one side. Don't be silly, he's a 1000 year old Timelord, and you're a 20 something human. Why would he be interested in you, humans come and go in his life, you're just the girl currently lucky enough to be able to travel with him.
The two of them walked together across the field towards the TARDIS, and eventually found the fridge to put the turkey in. Though not in the kitchen where it had previously resided; presumably the TARDIS felt that this distant corridor was a more appropriate place for it.
Back in the control room, the Doctor pointed out the box of decorations to Clara.
"What do you think? Every version of me has added to this collection, there's decorations from across every known universe, from every single point in time, some of the most exotic and dazzling things you will ever see"
"Do you have tinsel?"
"Do I have tinsel! I've got Zingarian active tinsel, which changes shape and colour when you look at it, I have Garalutian baubles, which hover in the air and spray magic dust over you, I have..."
"Sounds great" interrupted Clara. Go get a step ladder, I'll let you put them up, I wouldn't know what to do with them. And be careful, I don't want the fall of the eleventh to be you falling from a ladder!"
"Yes dear" the Doctor sighed.
"Oh, and what are you giving Artie and Angie for Christmas, they'll be expecting something special from you?"
"I don't give presents. I give experiences!"
"I was afraid you'd say that" replied Clara with a touch of concern in her voice.
"Well tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and what could be better than a trip to Victorian London to experience the true wonder of Christmas. We can pop in to see Vastra and the gang too."
"And it'll definitely be safe."
"Of course."
"That's what you said last time."
"Well, this time will be different, lightning doesn't strike twice."
"It usually does when you're around."

Several hours later, and after only a couple of small accidents with the stepladder, from which the Doctor emerged with only broken pride, and Clara learned a few Gallifreyan expletives the TARDIS was decorated. It did look amazing, Clara had to admit.
"That looks awesome Doctor, Angie and Artie will love it."
"I hope so, though you can never be sure with those two. What have you been doing in the kitchen?"
"Making a Christmas pudding."
"I love Christmas pudding, I hope you remembered to hide some coins in it, it's always exciting when you find the sixpence, well two pounds these days with inflation. I love pouring the brandy on top and lighting it, just don't use Yugofraxian brandy as it's rather explosive, blew Tegan right across the room!"
"Um, no, er no coins yet, there was a slight problem with the mix. I don't understand what went wrong, but don't worry, I'll clean the mess up. I will need to borrow the stepladder though."
"The stepladder?"
"Don't ask. You may wish to be nice to the TARDIS though. I think she's a bit upset with me. Probably best if I buy a pudding from the supermarket tomorrow. I can't seem to find the Brussels sprouts either. Any idea where they've gone, as I only put them in the fridge a couple of hours ago?"
"Maybe the TARDIS moved them, you know how she is. I'm sure we can live without sprouts, there are plenty of other vegetables you know!" the Doctor replied brightly.
"Are you sure you don't know where they've gone? It looks like I'll have to buy some more tomorrow. You can't have Christmas Dinner without sprouts."
The Doctor looked less than enthusiastic...

The next day, the Doctor and Clara appeared outside the Maitland house.
"Angie, Artie, for Christmas this year, I'm taking you on another adventure" beamed the Doctor.
"Where are we off to?" replied an excited Artie
"Victorian London, you'll love it there, London looks lovely in the snow, and you can meet my friends Vastra, Jenny and Strax. Strax looks like a potato, but he's quite sweet really. Well for a Sontaran anyway. And no nasty surprises either, just festive fun. And you'll be back in time for tea, my promise."
"Why back so soon?" asked Angie
"You'll need time to hang your stockings up, while I'll be busy back in the TARDIS stuffing the bird."
Noticing the sniggers from Angie, Clara quickly interjected "The Doctor will be stuffing the turkey." And glared at Angie, which made her snigger a bit more.
"I'm sure that not the only thing the Doctor will be filling tonight!"
"Angie!"
"Right!" exclaimed the Doctor, thankfully for Clara bringing this particular conversation to an end. "Time to go. I've decorated the TARDIS for Christmas, I think you'll like it."