The Senator And The Jedi

Chapter Fourteen: What's In The Bucket?

Ahsoka

Ahsoka awoke the next morning to find the sunlight streaming in through a window not covered by the expensive embroidered curtains in the estate and something warm and person-shaped lying next to her.

For a moment, she thought that she was back on the battlefield, and that it was Anakin. She and him sometimes shared a cot when they were fighting during the cold season, because Togruta biology wasn't made for temperatures like that and he didn't want her to freeze to death.

But there were three things that made her dismiss the idea right away. One, Anakin snored (which was actually bearable if you had the Force to tune it out), and it was quiet except for the sound of their breathing. Two, there were always noises of the troops getting ready in the morning. Three, she was still at Varykino.

She sat up, and realized that it was Lux.

She smiled at his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful – angelic, even. She didn't want to wake him up just yet. He worked way too hard, and he had more weight and responsibility on his shoulders than anyone his age should. He deserved a few moments without all of his duties as a member of the Senate to his homeworld bearing down on him.

Duty. Ahsoka had duties too: to the Order, to Anakin, to her men, and to the Jedi Code. The Code that she had broken more times than she could count since she had been given this mission.

Ahsoka sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. She loved him – that was out of the question now – but was it really worth it? Could she really keep doing this, when everything she had ever been taught forbade it?

"No," she answered her conscience in a whisper. "No, I can't."

Her relationship with Lux had to be strictly professional from now on. They could be friends... But it would be difficult to go back to the way things had been before. And if that weren't possible, then they would have to part ways – this time for good.

She climbed out of the bed, tiptoeing to the door. As she opened it, there was a slight creak and Lux stirred. She sighed, padding back to his side.

She brushed his bangs off his face, and planted a light kiss on his forehead. There, her conscience told her. Now you have your closure, and you can get back to focusing on not being attached to him.

As much as she wanted to crawl back under the warm covers and pretend she didn't have a Code forbidding it, she couldn't.

And so, with one last look at the boy she loved, she left the room.

A few minutes later, Ahsoka finished getting dressed and left her room, making her way towards the refresher down the hall. She hadn't been put into one of the few rooms that had one, so she had to readjust her usual morning routine back at the Jedi Temple to compensate.

As she made her way down the hall to the 'fresher, she took in the sight of the beautiful old wood paneling and elegant marble columns. It really was beautiful here. She could see why her Master had always spoken of it so fondly.

But that thought just led to more questions. She couldn't imagine why Anakin had never told her about that mission. He kept his past strictly to himself, presumably because he had seen terrible things and didn't want her to know about them. But she didn't understand why he would hide something about a mission to a planet as peaceful as this one.

Or why Padme hadn't said anything either. This was her home, and she loved to talk about it. But, then again, the Senator and her Master had always seemed extremely close for people who were just friends, especially when one of them was a Jedi. Something was going on here, and Ahsoka wasn't sure she liked it.