A year and a half. 547 days, and out of those 500+ days, I was with David for 180 of them. Each time we would go progressively further. Then he moved away. My worst fears came to surface. What do I do now? Who will be there for me. Who will get sexual with me. No one. So I looked for no one and no one looked for me.
The end of my freshman year was fast approaching. And I had my eye on someone the entire year, someone who became a good friend of mine. Some one I could joke with and be myself around. Tim Ketel. Seems like that name and his phone number have been engraved deep in my mind. So what do you do when your young and in “love.” You become impulsive.
“Yo, Tim. Wait up.” I was so nervous. I couldn’t look at him.
“Hey Gage, you wanted me? Im gonna miss my bus.” Tim looked worried, worried that someone might see me with him. But that’s not possible, no one knows im bisexual.
“Tim are you alright?” pure concern could be heard in my voice.
“Im fine, im just gonna go home. Ill talk to you later.” And Tim ran off.
Later that night I went home and got on my AIM screenname and saw he was on.
GaGexxxCrUzEr: can we talk?
-now I get real nervous. I cant type. I cant tell him. It will ruin everything.-
Bsktballlover10: whatever. Just say it.
GaGexxxCrUzEr: I. uh, im bi.
GaGexxxCrUzEr: Tim? You there?
Bsktballlover10: you’re a faggot. Don’t talk to me.
GaGexxxCrUzEr: please don’t say that tim. Please.
GaGexxxCrUzEr: tim. I like you. I really do, im sorry
Bsktballlover10 has signed off.
Shit ! Damnit! Im a fucking idiot. What the hell is wrong with me. Of course hes straight. God Gage you’re an asshole. What an idiot. Way to go, now everyone is going to know.
Well, maybe he had to go ? I tried to argue back to my conscious.
No you idiot. Hes gone. Peace out. Gone.
He cant be. Ill sign on a different screenname and see. i had to prove myself wrong, he can be gone.
Geo59012 signed in.
Bsktballlove10 has signed on.
Geo59012 has signed off. In heartbreak.
I woke up the next morning and looked for through all my new clothes. I wanted to look sexy today. Something nice and something noticable. Kinda hard when you’re a guy though. I settled for a pair of dark wash Express jeans with my bright baby blue graphic express shirt. Then I threw on my Air Jordans and I was ready to go. Blue was my favorite color to wear, every time I wore it my eyes would become ever brighter than their natural color.
As soon as I walked into the doors of the school I could hear the rumors flowing.
“oh shit that’s him?!”
“he doesn’t look gay at all.”
“wow he’s a faggot.”