Did you forget your job?
"Shut up, shut up." I whisper.
Okay breathe, remember to breathe. That's what the nurses in District 13 said to do. I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.
I breathe out.
You're worthless. She's coming for you. You have to get her first.
I clench onto the table, my knuckles immediately turning white. My eyes snap open.
I breathe in and out, this time faster, trying to focus on anything but the voices.
"NO!" I shout.
"No, no, no" I whisper. The voice is quieter now, but persistent.
Hurry. Before it's too late. Kill. Now.
No. No, I can't. I tug at my hair.
"SHUT UP!" Just make it stop.
"Shut up, shut up." I say quieter now, desperate. I bang my forehead against my fist repeatedly. No, I will not kill for Snow. I won't hurt Katniss.
"Stop." I say, not knowing whether or not I actually said it out loud.
And then it's silent. I fought it. The flashback's over. I let out a sigh of relief and bury my face in my hands. They seem to be getting better lately, maybe it's because Katniss and I see each other more often, I don't know. But I do know that it's a good sign, that I'm getting stronger, and Katniss is in less danger. Suddenly aware of my surroundings, I realize how cold it is and remove myself from the chair at the kitchen table. I quickly manage to start a fire. Guess the arena training paid off... Right as I'm about to get up off the floor and find something to eat, there's a knock on the door.
I slowly open the door, and when I see the person standing in front of me, I freeze. There she is.
"Katniss-" I am abruptly cut off by her falling into me. But it's a good thing because I had no idea where I was going with the rest of that sentence. I stumble backwards a little, catching her. She hangs onto me, her arms are wrapped around me so tightly, it's almost constricting. Surprised, it takes me a minute to overcome the shock of the moment and actually hug her back. When we pull apart, I don't know what to say. But she is the first one to talk.
"Can I stay here?" she asks quickly with an almost panicked look in her eye.
"Uh, Yeah. Of course." I reply, not having a clue what is going on in her head right now.
"Thanks." She smiles and relaxes a bit.
I grin back at her, and then it's quiet. We stare at each other, and for a second I swear she is going to lean closer. But then I fumble and lose grip of the match box I was holding. Smooth. A small smirk appears on Katniss' face, and I quickly reach down and pick up the box.
"Uh, well I was just going to get some food, you want anything?" I ask walking into the kitchen.
"Sure, what do you have?"
"I was gonna heat up some stew from yesterday, but I have other things if you don't want that." I say, wishing I knew she was going to come over. I would have made the lamb stew she likes, or cheese buns.
"No, stew sounds good" she replies. So I pour two bowls and heat them on the stove.
When they're done, I slide a bowl across the counter for her.