How it Used To Be

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Prod POV

I all his fault!!! If boss never took him in. If he was never born. If he was just obey. Why cant he die already. I dont get it, why does boss favor him. Im more skilled, trustworthy, smarter, and damn sure better looking than him. Ever since he came boss treats me different. Like im a nobody.

Its all his fault im inso much pain!!! It his fault my father and 2 bothers are dead. The closes people to me! Gone and never coming back. Ever!!!

I lay in the alley beat up, and bloody. It hurts to move. So I just sat there and cried. Everything i care abot gets taken away because of his mistakes. I only have my mom and sister left. They're the only reason im still in this gang. I have to support them. I couldnt stand to see my mom work 3 jobs. NO!! When my father and older brothers died i had to be the man of the family.

I swear on my life im going to kill everyone roc cares about then kill him!! Myself!!!


Zahia took me to her house which was not that far away from the park. Her mom wasnt home yet, but she said i could crash their tonight. She showed me were the shower was and gave me some of rays basketball short, boxers, and a shirt, i grabbed my hoodie too. I turned on the shower and undressed. I just sat their thinking. What am i going to do sunday. I have to go back. I know they're going to be waiting for me. Then i thought of jacob. How am i going to apologize to him? He hates me! All these things ran through my head.

I finally finished, got dress and head back in the living room. I saw zahia in her pj's on her phone texting and watching courage the cowerdly dog. "I love this show" i said.

"Me to" she said still looking at her phone giggling.

I just sat on the couch and watched tv

"Why do you have your hoodie on?" she said staring at me with a curious look

I didnt want her to see all my bruises so i just lied "Uh, i-im cold"

She gave me the boy-please-stop-lying-to-me look. "Lies to the devil!!"

I just stared at the floor. Tears began to build up. She came closer to me.

"Roc, whats wrong?"

"N-nuthing im fine" i lied

"Roc, i cant help you if you dont tell me, i wont hurt you"

I sighed and pulled off my hoodie revealing all my bruises. "I didnt want you to see them" i said still looking at the ground with tears flowing down my face.

"Roc, its ok. Your going to stay with me for now-on"

"But i have to go back, your mom wont want me here"

"I already told her, she said you can stay as long as you wont, plus she wont even be here for 3 months."

I was going to ask why she wont be here

"Work" she said

Well i guess that answered my question.

We just sat their and watched tv. Well atleast she did. I was in deep thought about jacob. What if he hates me, what if he doesnt want to talk to me or worse he says he doesnt love me. What if i tell him how i feel and he says im with khalil and he makes me happy. I cant stand to see him with khalil. I wishthat was me.

My thoughts were broken by zahia talking "So jacob is coming over tomorrow"

"OK.......WAIT WHAT?" i screamed

"Jacob is coming over to this house tomorrow" she said


"I had already invited him, and plus you need to tell him how you feel."


"Why not, just give him your journal"

"No, what if he hates me! or he doesnt want to be near me?" i said pacing around

"first of al calm yoh ass down, second he doesnt hate you, third i have a plan so leave it all to me" she said with an evil smirk.


"Why and how did you know start liking prince?"

"Well you read my past, i wasnt wanted so when i came here jacob was the only one who cared. we ended up becoming bestfriends. He knew my situtation so he would let me stay with him. I started noticing how cute he was, and when he would undress around me i would strare at him. and you know think things. I thought it was just a phase. But the more and more we hug out the more feelings i had. When he kissed me i didnt know what to think. I felt sparks but i ignored them. So thats when i had to see if i was gay or not so i slept with his girl. Why his girl well because she was easy! But i didnt feel the same sparks. While we were doing it i called out jacobs name. Thats when jacob burst in. He said he hated me and thats when all my anger came out. I just took it out on him. All my problems. He was the only one who cared then he said he hated me. I felt tore like i had no one left.

"Roc, just tell him what you just told me, im sure he will understand, trust me"

"I hope so"

"Well lets go to bed its getting pretty late. You can sleep in the guess room"

"Ok" and with that she showed mre the guess room. I was blue, my fav color. She turned to walk out. "Thanks for everything"

"Welcome, goodnight roc"

I lay in the bed. Just thinking about tomorrow. I thought about how everything USED TO BE ( did yall see the video! roc foreva had his shirt off. And prince with his acting skills then ray dancing and prods smile! OMG let me stop back to the story) I miss those days. I miss that kiss the most. And our friendship. Maybe i have a chance. Maybe he might forgive. I pulled out a pic of me and jacob last year from my journal. I stared at it until i fell asleep.

I love you jacob.


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