Chapter 42

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Lola's POV

I was so hurt and I couldn't believe he'd said the things he did. Of course Matt and Alex were concerned, but I just told them we'd broken up, I didn't go into details. Come Monday there was no way I could go into the studio, there was no way I could face him, I just couldn't do it. I made up same lame excuse not to go. I think Alex understood, Matt not so much, but when I said I wasn't going in Tuesday, then Wednesday, I was pretty sure Matt knew what was going on. Zack had eventually called me and that had turned into a shit fight. He wanted to tear Brian's head off and then proceeded to lecture me on why I should never have gotten back with Brian in the first place.

What a mess. I couldn't bare to go to the studio, Zack was angry, Matt and Alex were tiptoeing around me, trying to cheer me up and Brian, well Brian was just asshole.

"Fuck him." I cried to nobody, sitting up in my bed. I'd been here all week. I couldn't get up, I didn't want too. He'd hurt me so much and I really was stupid for getting back with him.

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and dragged myself downstairs to get something to eat. I felt like shit, I'd barely eaten or slept all week. I needed to get over this, it was beginning to consume my life.

There was some chicken in the fridge and I grabbed it, staring out the window at the pool. Maybe I should go for a swim? Maybe I should get a new job? I shook my head, unsure of where that thought came from, but I was right, maybe I should get a job elsewhere so I wouldn't have to see him all the time.

The doorbell rang and I silently cursed whoever it was for interrupting my pity party. I thought about not answering it, but perhaps it was something important and besides, everyone I knew was at the studio.

The doorbell rang again.

"Keep your fucking pants on." I yelled walking to it. I unlocked and opened the door and groaned.

"Lola." Brian said.

"Fuck off." I said slamming the door and I almost slammed it shut, but he was quick, sticking his foot in it.

"Ow fuck, my foot." He yelled as I put my full force behind the door.
"Go away." I cried.

"Lola, open it." He grunted, pushing on the door. "Please."

"What do you want?" I cried throwing it open.

He looked at me with wide eye's. "Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Us." He said.

"There is no us you piece of shit." I cried, turning and walking into the kitchen. I could hear him following me.

I walked over to the garbage and threw the piece of chicken I'd been attempting to eat in and when I turned back around he was right behind me.

"Don't say that." He said softly.

"What?" I snapped, pushing past him.

He grabbed me, pulling me to his chest. "Don't say there is no us."

I put my hands on his chest, trying to push him away. "It's true." I cried. "You made sure of that."

"Lola, baby, I didn't mean it." He murmured, pulling me closer.

"Yeah you did and now you're only here because you want a fuck."

"I'm here because I realised what a fucking dick I am." He told me. "And I'm here because I love you."

"What?" God fucking dammit, I was crying. Fuck I hated him.

"I love you Lola, I have for years."

"You don't love me, you just love my vagina." I snapped, still trying to push him away.

He chuckled and that infuriated me. "Lola, shut up will you." He whispered, wrapping his arm's tightly around me. He placed his lips next to my ear and whispered. "I love you Lola. I love you so much and I hate being apart from you, I can't stand it when I'm not with you."

I closed my eye's. "Really?"

"Yes." He murmured. "Really. Lola I thought you knew how much I loved you."

I shook my head and he moved slightly, taking my face in his hands.

"Babe, I love you." He whispered, looking into my eye's. "So much."

I closed my eye's as he kissed me softly, I hated him, but I loved him more.

"I'm sorry Lola." He murmured. "I really am. Do you forgive me?"

I looked at him and my own fucking body betrayed me. My head nodded and I swear it did it by itself.

"Good." He whispered kissing me again. "Because I mean it Lola, I love you and I cannot live without you."

"Stop being so soppy." I sobbed. "It's not you."

He smiled, kissing my nose. "Well maybe I need to do it more often."

"Maybe." I whispered.

"Now." He said. "I'm not going back to the studio today because I want to spend the day with you, so what do you want to do baby?"

I shrugged, I didn't know.

"Come on." He smiled, grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs.

I knew it. Straight to the bedroom. He was simply here for sex. He was just so predictable.

"You know." He said, pulling off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. He held out his arms and stupid me layed down next to him, letting him hold me. "I've slept like shit since Friday night."

I nodded, I had too.

"So I just want to lay here for awhile with you in my arm's baby." He murmured, kissing my forehead. "I mean it Lola, I love you."

I pulled away and looked at him. "I love you." And I did, so much.

"Good." He smiled. "Your brother is going to fucking kill me Lola but I don't care, I don't like being away fro you."

"I don't like it either." I whispered.

"Well let's not fight again." And he kissed me again.

I didn't want to fight again and I hoped we didn't but as Brian kissed me, I couldn't help but smile. Brian was such a cocky bastard, of course we'd fight again, but I wouldn't mind so much, because now I knew, now I knew he loved me.

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