Requested Imagine #32: Raina

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Author's Note:

Listen to "Back to December" by Taylor Swift while reading.


Imagine you're sitting in front of your computer with a camera pointing at you. You're about to record a video of a new song that you have just written, hoping some record label will look at your videos.

You probably want to know the inspiration behind your song, don't you? Well, it has to do with a eighteen year old Louisiana boy named Hunter Hayes. You had dated before he became famous. Famous. He had finally achieved his dream. All of his dreams were coming true.

Hunter's dreams were coming true because of you. You had encouraged him to go to the record label and everything worked out for him. You stopped reminiscing and turned your attention back to the camera. You pressed the record button and waited only a few seconds before speaking into the microphone.

"Raina here! I hope my lovelies are doing great and I'm glad y'all are tuning in," you say smiling into the camera, "I've written a new song and I wanted to share it with y'all. Give me some feedback, eh?"

You tune your guitar once again just to get your nerves out. You're nervous and you're not sure why, "This song's about something I regret and I wish I could go back and fix."

Actually, what you meant to say was, "I wrote this song about Hunter Hayes. I dated him and I regret leaving him after everything he did for me," and so on but you couldn't. You couldn't destroy Hunter's music career.

I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why because the last you saw me it still burned in the back your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

You were singing with your entire heart. This was your version of a letter or phone call explaining how sorry you were. You truly meant what you were singing. You sang the chorus and you began to remember that night in December when you left Hunter.

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time.

Your thoughts then moved to other memories. Memories where he was laughing are your horrible old jokes. You thought about how his face lit up every time he saw you. Hunter loved seeing you smile and he wanted what was best for you, always.

These days I haven't been sleeping, staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call and I think about summer, all the beautiful times. I watched you laughing from the passenger side, realized that I loved you in the fall.

Everyone wondered why you left him and you made excuses. You and Hunter were a perfect pair and everyone could see that. Even people who didn't know either of you, knew y'all were perfect for each other. A match made in heaven. Only you knew the real reason for leaving Hunter. Not even Hunter himself knew the reason. You left because you were afraid of not being able to return the same amount love. You were afraid of falling in love. You didn't want to hurt him or yourself.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

You sang the chorus and a drop of liquid substance slipped out of your eye. You ignored it and continued signing. You were about to sing the bridge of the song. You let out a small chuckle and think that know will believe you when you say that Hunter used to have tan-skin. He used to one of those "farmer's tans" and it made him look even more attractive.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right and how you held me in your arms that September night - The first time you ever saw me cry.

The first time you cried was when your cousin Vanessa passed away. She was your best friend and she was always there for you. Hunter knew how she meant to you and he stayed with you that entire night just make sure you were okay. You came to a small pause and thought about you were secretly hoping that Hunter would hear this song.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, Probably mindless dreaming, but if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand.

You had hot tears coming out your eyes. Your viewers were only thinking that you were getting emotional like always whenever you sang a song. Meanwhile, you were thinking about how you could go to that cold December night and tell Hunter how you really felt.

But this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night," and I go back to December. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time. All the time.

You thanks your viewers and then ended the live stream and uploaded it to YouTube. After the long process you collapsed on the bed and cried. You were sobbing loudly that you didn't hear or feel your phone vibrate. You heard a knock on your bedroom door and looked up to see who it was. It was him.

"That's one of my favorite song by far," he said giving you a small smile. You fake a smile and sit up on the bed clutching a white teddy that you always slept with, "Snowball?"

"You still remember?" You asked surprised and he nods. You let out a small embarrassed laugh, "It's Snowball."

"How could I forget the present I gave to my best friend?" Best friend? Well, it's better than just being another ex, "I thought you got rid of him. He's so old."

"I could never get rid of Snowball. I love him too much!" You exclaim and Hunter laughs. He had given you the teddy bear when you both were three. It wasn't even a birthday present, "Do you remember what you said to me?"

"Of course, I do. I remember when we went into the you store," Hunter began with his story, "You were looking at the bear and you had asked your mom for it but she refused to buy it. You and you're mom left the store and it turned out I had enough money to buy the bear--"

"Speaking of money, what were you going to do that money anyways if never bought the bear?" You asked. You always wondered about what Hunter would have done with the money if he hasn't bought Snowball.

"I was going to buy an airplane. I think I had enough money for it. I don't regret giving up the plane for Snowball," He says smiling at you and you knew that he was willing to give you a second chance at loved. "Anyways, I bought the bear and I decided to was going to give it to you as a surprise.

"I asked my mom the next day if I could go over to your house and she said I could. I found you playing in the backyard and I said, 'I bwought chu a bear 'cause I love chu." He said as he tried mimicking the voice he had when he was little. You laugh and you realize that you feel whole again. You no longer felt that emptiness whenever Hunter wasn't around.

"I love chu too," You say also mimicking the voice you had when you were younger. He smiles and leans in for a kiss.

"I don't regret kissing you that day."

"I don't either but I regret leaving you and I don't want to do it again."

"Then don't," he says and kissing you much more passionately. Right then and there you knew that he had taken you back and he had forgiven you.

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