Lost In Love (vol. 1)

Turn Around And See Me Cry

"Guess it was not meant to be, but it's not as bad as it seems

It only burns when I breathe

It feels like the dawn of the dead, like bombs goin' off in my head

Never a moment of rest

Nothing kills more than to know, that this is the end of the road

And I know I gotta let go."

= Can't Let You Go,ADAM LAMBERT

When he finally returned to the living room doorway, Kyle was still sitting on the sofa, arms resting on his knees...and holding the wedding band in his fingertips. Just the sight of it again ripped through Nate's heart, leaving him shredded and bleeding. His gut tightened and he thought he might puke again, but he fought the nausea and the pain, and embraced the rage.

The ring slipped almost lovingly through Kyle's fingertips as he caressed it gently...then slowly slid it on his left hand.

Nate's breath staggered hard and caught in his chest, causing it to heave. Kyle glanced at him quick, startled by his sudden presence. Nate's hard eyes couldn't seem to pull away from the ring on Kyle's finger. Following his brittle stare down to the ring, Kyle stood up slowly, his watery eyes widened a bit. He slid the ring off.

"Don't take it off on my account." Nate said stiffly, grinding his teeth in an attempt to hold his emotions in check.

Kyle held the ring in his fingertips once more, stared at it a moment, then looked at Nate. There was a plea in his eyes that Nate wanted to knock out of them. "Nate..." Kyle spoke low, thick, tears squeezing his voice. He stepped towards Nate.

But Nate stepped back. "Don't, Kyle." His words were razors on his tongue, and he could taste the blood they drew. "Just fucking don't." Nate broke from his stance and headed for the front door.

"No." Kyle followed. "Nate...just let me-"

"Save it!" Nate cried and grabbed the door handle.

Kyle's hands were suddenly gripping his arm, clutching at him. "No, Nate! It can't end like this. Not like this!"

"Get your fucking hands off me, Kyle." Nate growled dangerously, his hand still gripping the door handle.

"I know I did everything wrong." Kyle choked out. "I'm sorry. I fucked up, big time. I shouldn't have done it like this...I just wanted..."

Nate's chest heaved as he tried to breathe. Just get out of here. Don't listen to him. Just go! But his hand wouldn't twist the knob, wouldn't open the door. "Just wanted what, Kyle?" He heard himself whisper tightly.

"I just wanted to know how it felt to be with you." He trembled. "To be...loved by you. Just once, before..."

Kyle's words slipped away unfinished. Nate released the door handle and faced him.

"Before what?" Nate bit out coldly. He grabbed the ring from Kyle's hand and thrust it in his face. "Before this? Did it even cross your fucking mind what all this would do to me? Do you even fucking care, Kyle?"

Tears were running down Kyle's face. "I do care." He cried. "You have no fucking idea how much I care!"

"Bullshit!" Nate raged then slammed Kyle against the wall so suddenly he startled himself and ripped a sharp gasping grunt from Kyle. His fingers clutched fistfuls of Kyle's shirt, his knuckles digging into the guy's chest as he held him tight to the wall. The ring was still gripped in his hand, gouging into his palm, burning his skin. "You don't give a fucking shit about me, Kyle!" Nate cried, sobs tearing up his raw throat. "You fucking used me! And now you want...what?! What do you fucking want from me now?!"