A Lover's Quarrel by Reggabear

64 11 2
                                    

*NEW AUTHOR*

*Note: This book is rated Mature.


Title: A Lovers Quarrel

Author: @Reggabear

Genre: Romance

Status- On Going

Length (As of 11/22/15): Eight medium-short chapters.

Link- http://w.tt/1H6hnrX

Summary: "I don't like it when you run from me, princess." Cole smiles at me, his eyes taking in my restrained form.

"Let me go, asshole!" I snarl at him, how could I have gotten caught? They tricked me, the bastards.

"Ah, ah, ah, calm down, my love." Cole responds his smile still intact. The door slams shut and Tanner walks in, his hands full of lingerie.

"Let me GO!" I screech again, making Tanners head snap up, his eyes flash with lust as he stares at me.

"Let you go? Your ours now." Dread fills my body as Tanner smirks at me, his hand stroking my cheek.

•••••

Tanner and Cole Blake are princes of England. They are searching for their perfect queen.

Amelia Green knew she remembered these men from somewhere. But where? It doesn't really matter because they have her now and they aren't planning on letting their little flower go.

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Ace's Review:

Flow of the story- I feel that it is moving a bit too fast. Adding a bit of fluff (a part of the story that doesn't impact the plot) could help, but it's so subtle I wouldn't worry about it.

Foreshadowing- This is something you might want to work on. It'll help with the flow of the story and transitions between parts of a chapter. Specifically, the transitions between the mature parts of the story and not mature parts. Without a bit of foreshadowing/anticipation added, it tends to catch you off guard and make you uncomfortable.

Characters- The characters have a lot of depth, as I could feel every emotion they were feeling, but the relationships between the characters could be explained a bit better. Rather than doing this through editing, I would add flashbacks or something in the future. I am specifically targeting the relationship between Amelia and Scarlett, though a bit of insight into Amelia's parents could help.

Grammar- Absolutely no grammatical errors. Perfect.

Writing style- Includes a lot of detail. Good sized paragraphs. Colorful word choices.

Setting- You need to add something to the story to set the scene in the first chapter. Once someone is familiar with the setting, a few more cues in the story would help. As stated by your comments, the conflict between the horse-and-buggy and the car takes away from the story, but a bit of explanation why a horse-and-buggy would be in modern time period could help.

Overall- Although there are things that needed to be worked on, it is a well-written story. You can really get into the story and it has an enticing plot.



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