Rap Monster

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He was too busy

You had honestly loved Namjoon with all of your heart, and you were well aware of the fact that he loved you too. The two of you had been together for years, and you knew him before BTS was even an idea. You always stood by his side despite the fact that he was constantly whisked away to different sorts of events and schedules, you refused to grow weak because of the time apart and distance. You firmly believed that the two of you were strong enough to overcome all obstacles, Namjoon was the love of your life. Even so, you did find yourselves to be very lonely at times. The house you shared grew to suffocate you when he was on tour and the only thing surrounding you was the reminder that he wasn't with you and you were alone. You did know that his fans would attack you when they found out he was dating you, and you were well aware of all the cons that came along with being your girlfriend. But you didn't dwell on the negative, you preferred to look at the positives.

Apparently he didn't think the same as you.

He came home one day after a week of being apart, and you could tell that something was off when he had trouble eating the meal you made and he couldn't look you in the eyes. You had known him for such a long time that you could practically read him like a book, it was clearly obvious that he was hiding something from you. After dinner, the two of you sat in the living room together and you immediately demanded to know what was wrong, you didn't want to beat around the bush when it was obviously worthless that because he was going to have to address the elephant in the room. Namjoon looked at you in the eyes before clearing his throat and slowly taking your hands in his, your face remained motionless as you looked at him and waited for him to spit out what had been plaguing his thoughts. At first, he didn't say anything before he began to explain that he was very, very occupied with BTS. You only nodded your head, letting him speak, but the next thing he said caused something inside of you to snap.

"I think we need to break up."

You were absolutely speechless, you would never expect this from him. You didn't cry at first because you were simply confused, why was he being like this? You had known each other for years and you had gotten to a point where you assumed that the two of you were closer than simply girlfriend and boyfriend. You mistakingly thought that he was going to be in your life for the longrun, you never questioned his loyalty to you until now. You weren't sad at this point, at first you were absolutely furious at how serious he was and how he retracted his hands from you with a weak smile, asking softly if you were okay. You could feel the steam coming out of your ears. You spent your youth years lounging around an empty house, missing him, cooking, and cleaning for him and this was what you were rewarded with? You constantly took care of him and worried for his health, bringing snacks to the boys during practice and even becoming a mentor for the younger members. Was he was just going to dump you like you were a used piece of trash?

"Get the fuck out. Right now."

Your voice was shaking as you pointed your finger at the door, your chest was rising up and down as you could feel the anger coursing through your veins. You couldn't care less for his shocked expression and how he suddenly held his hands up in the air as a surrender motion. You were seething as you repeated the command and actually stood up, waiting for him to leave as you glared at him, ready to launch into a heated argument when he decided to test you. Namjoon looked more upset than anything, and he took a few looks around and at you before attempting to explain, but you cut him off immediately and continued to point at the door. You needed him out right now, and when he finally left, that was when you collapsed. You had never thought that you would end up with someone else, and you couldn't believe you wasted years of your life with someone that didn't even appreciate you.

You had left the apartment as well.

Your best friend encouraged you to stay with her until you could get back on your own two feet and move out of the apartment that only reminded you of the painful breakup. You couldn't thank her enough for everything that she was doing to help you, but she only insisted that it was for the best. You took a few days off from work to simply snuggle into blankets, enjoy ice cream, and watch a ton of movies that distracted you from your depressing reality. You had practically abandoned your phone as well, not entirely caring whether or not Namjoon decided to contact you because he was the one who broke up with you in the first place. One particular evening though, when your friend was working, you happened to receive a ton of calls all in a row, and it was too annoying to ignore any longer.

You picked up with an annoyed tone but apologized immediately when you found that the caller happened to be Jimin. The two of you were probably the closest out of all the BTS members despite Namjoon, and even though you weren't the leader's girlfriend anymore, you wouldn't mind remaining friends with Jimin. He laughed softly and that lightened the mood of the conversation slightly as he then began to talk about Namjoon. He described him as feeling very sad and unmotivated to do anything, refusing to eat, show up for rehearsals, and even write lyrics. You were surprised by this knowledge due to the fact that Namjoon was a natural born musician, and performing always came naturally to him. Jimin begged you to let Namjoon come talk to you, and despite how hurt and offended you were, you allowed it.

You had agreed to meet you ex boyfriend at the cafe the two of you normally visited, but you weren't going to melt in front of him. You were only attending due to the fact you knew that he needed to eat and take care of himself, especially due to the fact that he was a hardworking idol. You waited in the chair at the table the two of you always sat at, and you couldn't help but sigh as you stirred your drink and waited for the male to show up. He eventually did, and once he sat down you noticed how much weight he had lost and began to lecture him that he needed to take care of himself more, which immediately caused a smile to break out on his face. He definitely missed how caring you were. Namjoon then began to talk about the reason why he happened to end your relationship, and he revealed that it was because he didn't want you to wait for him anymore. He wanted you to find someone else that would be able to make you happy every single day, he didn't want you to sit around all day and wait for a boyfriend that would leave soon after he arrived home to sleep.
You nodded throughout his speech and noticed that this was a very good argument, however you then told him that you wanted him and only him. You didn't need someone that tended to your every need, you needed Namjoon to know that you were going to stick by him until the end of the line. The two of you definitely got a bit too emotional and leaned in for a long, and tight hug that lasted a couple of minutes.
By the end of the night the two of you walked out of the cafe holding hands.

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