Insecurities (Being Edited)

'01

The cold brisk air touched my skin as soon as I left the shelter. I longed for some home cooked food but that longing was only a dream that probably wouldn't be a reality anytime soon. It didn't phased me that today was my 2nd day without a meal, the shelter I go to only had good food on Wednesdays. So until then I usually just eat whatever snack or chips they give us, but of course that doesn't hold me over but what else can I do. As I walked through the street of Brooklyn my body ached because of the lack of sleep and also I've been walking all morning. But I have no where else to do so this is my life.

While I walk all I can think about is my parents. The way we actually used to be a big happy family at one point until things changed. As parents I never expected them to abandon me the way that they did. Because at the end of the day I am still their flesh and blood and no situation should stop that but in their eyes it was no use. I still wonder if I could've prevented all of this from happening. But all I should worry about is the present and how I'm going to continue to live like this.

There's no way that I can live on the street forever, and these meals aren't helping me at all. I may be loosing weight but I feel so weak and unhealthy since there's no balance to what I am eating. The only upside is the fact that I can shower and wash my clothes regularly so I don't look like a homeless woman at least. For the past couple of weeks I have been searching for a job. So far every job has turned me down because have to put your address on file or else they won't hire you and of course I have no where to put. Another downfall is that I have no prior experience but that never made sense to me, I need experience but in order to get the experience I need to be hired. What's the logic behind that?

Today was another search for a job day, so I turned down a shopping area and as I continued to walk I spotted a help wanted sign, at a random boutique. Here's goes nothing, I did a quick prayer before I walked in.

Lord please bless me with this opportunity to help my self advance and have a better life. Through all of this struggle and pain I praise you and understand that this life is a process and there's more in store for me than this life that I'm living. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

As I walked in I was greeted by the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Lord this isn't what I meant but thank you. He was tall chocolate and muscular, with incredibly white teeth. I was in a daze just taking in his essence. I've never seen a man that was this beautiful and it has me thinking is this even legal.
"Uh, hello," he said breaking me out of my daze while clearing his throat. I snapped out of it and mumbled, "I'm here inquiring about a job you have to offer."

He smiled noticing how nervous I was. "Yes, this spot is still open. This is my sister Angela's boutique, Welcome. My name is Jeremiah." He smiled.

"Nice to meet you Jeremiah, I'm Winter." I returned the smile while trying not to keep eye contact.

He raised my chin, "first credentialed to work here is that you need confidence. Don't ever look down on someone your body language tells a lot about you. Please fill out this form and I'll be right back."

Wow the fact that he noticed how insecure I am made me realize that maybe I need to stop
wearing my emotions on my face, how did he know me so well and we just met. As he walked away I couldn't help but look at the man in front of me. He was absolutely gorgeous. But I needed to focus I filled out all of the parts of the application that I could.

As I was almost finished an equally beautiful woman walked in with a very warm smile and shook my hand. "Hi I'm Angela, and you got the job."

I jumped for joy and give her a hug in astonishment. This is the happiest I have been in months and I'll be forever grateful to this loving family. As I was about to ask some questions she said, "only thing, you forgot to fill out is your home address."