Chapter 30

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Matt's POV

That kiss was the stupidest thing I'd ever done. Seriously. There she was, in my arm's, looking beautiful, trusting me, and I'd ruined it by kissing her.
I watched her turn and walk out of the kitchen, then I sat there for nearly an hour, regretting the whole damn thing and wanting to apologise.
The more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I became, I slept like shit and I was terrified of what Alex might say the next morning. I got up early and went down to the beach, just to get away, to give her space, so she didn't have to see me.
I'd fucked up, and I knew I'd really fucked up when Alex didn't come down to the studio the next day. Lola said she had some things to do, but I knew better. I spent that night hanging at Zack's and went back to the house late. I considered just going to my house, but the thought of that prick showing up when I wasn't there was just too much. I snuck in quietly and everyone was asleep.
I didn't see Alex until the next morning, when I was getting a coffee and she wandered into the kitchen.
She looked embarrassed at the sight of me and I wanted to die.
"Uh, I have to get my car this morning." She mumbled.
"Oh yeah, shit." I blundered. "I have a few things to do before going to the studio." I lied. It was all a lie, I didn't want to see her squirm anymore. "You'll be okay." I added before exiting the room and the house.
She never came to the studio again and that was how I ended up here, dinner with Sarah and Zack, dinner with Siobhan.
I was fucking disappointed when Alex left, but yeah, obviously I made her that uncomfortable that she couldn't stand being in the same room as me and damn, that hurt.
I was disappointed that I was here myself, I'd rather be back at the house with Alex, even if she was avoiding me. Fuck, I'm seriously not sure why I even thought asking Siobhan out was a good idea. Actually I was doing it in the hope that Alex might feel a little relieved, relieved that I wasn't trying to come on to her, but I didn't know, Alex was just so hard to read.
"Ready?" I asked after we'd eaten, I'd honestly had enough.
She smiled, standing up. I said goodbye to Zack and Sarah and Zack walked out with us to the car. Sarah stayed inside, she'd barely acknowledged Siobhans presence, and I couldn't help but wonder how much she knew.
"See you Monday, if not before." Zack said as we left.
"Monday?" Siobhan asked as we drove away.
"Yeah, in the studio."
"How exciting." She said.
"Very." I mumbled.
"So where are we heading now?" She asked.
"Your place?"
I glanced at her. "No, I'm staying at Alexandria's, there have been a few problems."
"Oh." She said, looking in her purse. "I mean we could stay at your house tonight, I mean one night won't hurt."
Holy shit, she was propositioning me.
"What?" I asked. "I mean, no, sorry." I was blabbering.
"It's fine." She smiled, reaching over and rubbing my leg.
"Oh shit Siobhan, I'm so sorry." I told her. "I'm sorry if you've gotten the wrong idea."
She pulled her hand back. "Those girls were right." She said as we pulled up at her house.
"Who?" I asked as she opened her door.
"Lola and Sarah." She said, leaning in to talk. "They basically insinuated that you and Alex had something, and you know what, they were right. Goodnight Matt." She said closing the door.
I watched her let herself in and I breathed a sigh of relief. Taking a date was the dumbest idea I'd ever had and I was just glad it was over.
I pulled up at the house, glad to see that Alex had garaged her car and I let myself in quietly.
I could hear talking coming from the entertainment room, so I headed in there. Lola and Brian were watching a movie.
"Where's your date?" Lola snapped.
She grunted at me.
"Where's Alex?" I asked.
"In bed, she wasn't feeling well." She told me a little more softer.
I nodded, she just didn't want to see me. "I might head to bed too."
"Night." They both said as I turned to leave.
I crept quietly up the stairs and I hesitated at Alex's door.
I wanted to knock softly, I wanted to go in there, climb in bed next to her and just hold her in my arm's. But I didn't. I went quietly to my room, getting in bed and laying in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
Tomorrow I was going to sit down with Alex and talk. Tomorrow I would apologise and beg that she forgive me. I just wanted to be around her, even if it was only as friends.
Tomorrow, I was going to make it okay.
Tomorrow. I hoped.

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