i hung up the phone and observed my face through the rearview mirror. my eyes were red and puffy, but i used a tissue to wipe away the fallen tears then applied some more mascara before stepping out of the car.
i decided to actually go and visit my little sister, andrea. after i left jack's house, i just felt like i really needed her company and plus, i'm kind of tired of lying to lauren all the time.
i went through the lobby of the building and took the elevator to the fifth floor, where her apartment is. i knocked on the door and could immediately hear footsteps shuffling behind it, until the door opened.
"hey! come in," andrea gestured and i followed her through the hallway, as she picked up clothing and other mess along the way.
we reached the living room and she took a held of the tv remote, "okay, so i know that you told me you were coming last minute, but i have the pizza guy on his way, all seasons of gossip girl, and ice cream incase we're not bloated enough" she spoke as she quickly scrolled through netflix.
i casually sat down on the couch and ended up going into my own world. i would usually be getting the blankets prepared and obsessing over what's going to happen between blair and chuck, but i just couldn't get my mind of jack.
maybe i was a little too hard on him.
but i couldn't help it; my feelings towards this whole situation was bound to come out eventually.
"savannah,". my train of thoughts came to a halt once i heard andrea say my name. she was glancing back at me, and had her eyebrow raised like she was trying to figure something out.
"you're quiet. so, what's his name and what did he do?" she asked, before sitting beside me with her legs bunched up on the couch.
"why do you assume that it's about a guy?".
"because, i'm your sister and we went through this like a hundred times in high school".
i sighed and took my phone out of my pocket, "...i don't want to talk about it".
"see, now you're doing that thing where you go own your phone, to distract the fact that you're about to cry" andrea added. i rolled my eyes at her, because all i wanted was for this conversation to end, and because i knew that she was partially right.
my sister groaned at my resistance to talk about my problems and snatched the phone away from me. "you know that i'm great at solving these things, so spill,".
i smirked at her words. "yeah, i doubt that you can turn back time, or magically make two people sign some divorce papers".
she stared at me questionably, "divorce papers? now i'm really interested, tell me".
i threw my head back and covered my face, "you won't understand, andrea".
"come on, please" she begged. i looked at her and took a deep breathe, because i knew that i hadn't confided in my sister in such a long time.
i know every secret of her's and she knows all of mine - including my long term love for jack. so, i might as well tell her about this, even though i know what her reaction will be and that i'll just end up crying again.
"...i've been having an affair with jack" i hesitantly spoke and i watched her eyes widen instantly.
"jack gilinsky?" she asked me, and i slowly nodded my head at her before she shook her head like a disappointed mother.
"savannnah-," she groaned.
"i know, i know" i quickly interrupted. "you don't need to remind me of what went down at his wedding, or how he's been married for almost two months, because i'm pretty familiar with it all".
"then why the hell are you sleeping with him?" andrea reacted. i shrugged and stared down at my hands.
"because i love him" i simply answered. "a little too much actually,".
i slightly smiled as i tried to distract the fact that my tear ducts were beginning to fill up.
"well, does he love you?".
i bit my lip at the question. part of me knows that he does, but the other part keeps telling me to question it one last time.
"i hope so..." i finally answered as my pupils became cloudy. "but i mean, it's not even about that - it's about him treating me like i'm the only girl that matters when we're alone, and then doing the exact same to madison when she suddenly pops up".
"...and yes, i know that she's his wife, but i just-...i don't get it" i began to cry. "she treats him like shit and i couldn't give a two fucks about his money, yet she's the one who gets to wake up beside him every morning, and she's the one who gets to hear him say i love you every day and then i'm just left behind, wishing that was me".
the hot, salty tears trickled down my cheeks as i tried my best to control them. andrea quickly embraced me into a hug and rubbed my back, while i started wiping my eyes.
when she pulled way, i looked at her then chuckled at myself for crying like this. i felt stupid for wasting my saturday night by sobbing over a guy, who's not even sure that he wants to be with me.
"right look, before i get any alcohol for you to drown away your sorrows, you need to realise that you deserve better than this, s. you don't deserve to be anyone's second choice, and you have to make sure jack understands that before you two go any further".
i smiled at her words then gently dabbed at my eyes, "wow, when did my little sister become so wise?".
andrea proudly flipped her dark hair over her shoulder, "it's a natural gift that i only share with you" she said and i laughed at her response.
"well, then thank you" i chuckled and then gave her a quick hug.
"you're welcome. now, you go get the blankets and i'm gonna get the aftermath wine, so i'll be right back" andrea told me, then joyfully jumped up from the couch to hurry into her kitchen. i smiled at her positive mood and how grateful i was to finally have someone to vent to about this whole thing.
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affair ; jack gilinskyFanfiction
in which a wedding day rejection turns into a secret love affair. - © all rights reserved to simplyomaha - 2015/2016 lowercase intended highest ranking: fanfiction #68