1•Lost girl in her lost mind.

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*Listen to the song while reading*

Hopes POV.

BOOM! Oh no! The doors, they are about to close.

My legs, burned and ached.

My heart, pounding and unsteady.

My breathing, loud and frequent.

My mind, a mess and dangerous, like the maze.

I skidded around the corner of the dark maze, the whirring and clicking sounds far behind me. I finally lost the griever, but now I might be stuck in here.

I ran straight ahead and saw the doors closing everyone second inch by inch. I can make it, I pushed my feet to move faster. Just one more step and I'll be safe from the maze.I leaped out and landed on the ground with a soft thud while the maze doors closed with a loud bang!

I laid on the grass for a few more seconds until I started to hear cheering, at first I thought someone would of waited for me, to be happy to know I was safe but it was too far away for it to be for me.

I glanced around and saw on the other side of the glade everyone cheering for Minhos return. That he made it back alive, I was alive to but no body celebrated.

Of course they wouldn't, they wouldn't care if I didn't come back, no one would. I shuffled over into the woods and go into the Map room like always.

I have been doing this ever since I've arrived in the glade two years ago. I need a release. I will get it soon enough. Without any energy I pushed open the door only to have another runner push me out of the way so they could get in first. I wasn't important to them.

It was driving me insane, all the bad thoughts that crept into my mind day and night like a black claw trying to drag me into a pit of sadness, darkness and depression.

I felt like I was already there, I dragged myself there. I sight deeply andwalked into the room. I took off my backpack and placed it in my spot and took out my notes.

I scribbled down everything I saw today and everything else I was taught to do. After only 5 minutes I was done. Thank god!

"I didn't even notice you came back from the maze, what a shame, you should of stayed out there!" sneered the runner known as Kyle.

I gave a fake smile and pretended as if the comment was brushed off. I walked away from him until he couldn't see my face. That's when the smile disappeared and the frown appeared on my face.With my head hung low I quickly jogged over to my small room that was built for me, the only pleasure of being a girl in the glade.

In the room was a small bed with one shelf. That's all I've needed. I grabbed a set of clean clothes and my shower bag.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤Time skip¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

The hot water sprinkled onto my sore skin and as soon as it hit my thighs I winced in pain and held in a screech. The pain soon died down.The fresh cuts on my bare thigh was mocking me, they reminded me of every tear, every mistake, every lose, every time I lost the battle with myself.

I was all alone in the showers so I did what I always did, I let it all out . The tears I've held in all day, they rolled down my face while I tried to stay quiet.

I sunk down to the bathroom floor and cried. I hated being the only girl, two years ago I was sent up in the box that sentenced me to my hell life.

A note came up with me.

Never lose hope.

That's what the note said no one knew it it meant me because that's my name or the thing people were losing I hated my name it held no meaning to me, I had no hope. I was going to die here. There is no way out.

The depression came 1 year ago then came the self harm then my eating disorder. I was a mess, no one could clean me up.

I hate this place.

I hate myself.

I hate being alive.

I grabbed my shower bag and grabbed the thing that has been my only friend. Blades. Without any hesitation I swiped it across my thighs again and again until there was another 20 cuts.

They were all bleeding, the blood rushed down my leg. A few of the cuts were really deep but I knew I would live...sadly.

After only 20 minutes I had washed my running clothes in the shower and hung them over the shower to dry, washed my long brown wavy hair and the bleeding stopped.

I looked down at my hideous body, but quickly looker away not wanting to see how badly I ruined it. It's been over 2 weeks since I last ate and I wasextremely skinny but no one noticed because of my lose clothes.

No one sees the tears.

No one hears my cries.

No one feels my pain.No one understands.

I quickly got dressed in black sweat pants and an oversized jumper. I packed up my stuff and went outside. The cold air hit me and it was now night time.

I rushed to my room and was soon alone in bed. I laid down looking at nothing and didn't bother to hide the tears. I could hear everyone at dinner laughing, oh how I wish I could laugh.

I envied them all. They all had friends, something to live for, they all belonged. I had nothing, no one. I cuddled myself and cried into my knees. Just like every other night the thoughts crawled inside my mind.

Kill yourself
They don't care
They never noticed you.
Everyone hates you
I know you want to

The voices were right, I wanted to, I so badly wanted to die, I didn't want to pretend to be OK anymore. When this all forts started I could of been saved, Newt the boy I've loved for years never noticed me.

He could of helped but he ignored me like everyone else. The tears soon vanished because I ran dry of them and knew what I was going to do. I didn't want to live another day in the glade, so I wasn't going to.

¤¤¤¤¤¤Chapter 1 done¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Here is the first chapter what do you think?

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