I nodded. Her grin went ever brighter. She was so nice. I couldn't believe her. I was her husband's product of adultery, yet she treated me like one of her own.

"Well, he also said you could come home today. Your body accepted the donated blood and you are fine to leave."

She unlocked my hands and I immediately rubbed my wrists. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. She tilted her head at me.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged.

"Are you not going to talk?"

I nodded and looked at my arms. I thought of the long, pink scars grinning at me, mocking me from under the bandages. You tried, and you failed they said. All you ever do is fail.

Queen Pat took one of my hands and pulled me off the hospital bead. She gently and quietly helped me change into my clothes, newly laundered. I could see her smile, trying to be reassuring, out of the corner of my eye, but I was too ashamed to look at her.

I pressed my forearms to my stomach and kept my eyes on the ground, trusting Queen Pat to take me wherever. She could take me to Death Row and I wouldn't care. I might actually like that idea. Or not. Dirg didn't want me to die. Maybe I should stay alive.

Ugh... living was so complicated.

We entered a suite of rooms I had only been in a few times. It was the royal suite. The queen led me to a small door to the right.

"Amora had your things moved from your previous room to this one so we can keep an eye on you." She stated as she opened the door.

I stepped in hesitantly and looked around. The room was so big, Miss Sparnage could have fit the whole orphanage in it. I backed up a step, but the queen gently pushed my back.

"I know, it's big and intimidating, especially when you're used to a little bed stuffed in a corner."

It wasn't in a corner, but she had it about right. I had been sleeping on the floor since Dirg took me. I had a bed for two months, but I slept on the floor. This carpet was lush, too lush. It was comfortable.

She smiled at me and showed me where everything was. She was gentle and kind and lovely. I didn't deserve the love she gave me. Heck, I didn't deserve to be breathing. I remembered the day I met King Amora. He was so ashamed that we didn't know each other. He just wanted to help me. I said I would let him help me but I hadn't opened up. I thought he would force his way in like Dirg had, but he was too much of a gentleman for that. He just sat on the sideline, ready to help.

I never called him in. What if I had? What if instead of focusing on Dirg's words, I had focused on Amora's? Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed. Maybe he could have fixed me, something I thought only Dirg could do.

Queen Pat showed me around and then sat on the bed near the window. She patted the spot next to her and smiled at me, inviting me to sit with her. There was one problem; she was sitting on a bed. I gulped down my fear and took a step towards her. I slowly touched the bed, ready to react if anyone yelled at me. Queen Pat watched me with hopeful eyes. She knew I slept on the floor, and I think she realized this was a breakthrough moment for me.

"This is your bed, Lucy," She said softly. "If he ever touches it, he's a dead man."

I nodded and gently slid my fingers in that one little area. It took a laughable amount of effort to turn around and sit beside the queen. I closed my eyes as I did and pretended it was just a chair. She put her arm around my shoulders, gently squeezing me in reassurance. I breathed in deeply to steady myself. This was okay. This was acceptable. I was sitting on my bed. Nothing wrong here.

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