Among the Stars [Frerard]

Chapter 1: Autumnal Feels

Frank sighed, repositioning himself on the tree stump. His breath appearing right in front of him in the cool autumn air. Frank had somehow found himself in the middle of a forest at 2am, staring up at the night sky. He was sitting in the middle of a clearing and Frank could barely see his own feet,it was almost pitch black.

Frank wasn't feeling to well, mentally of course, his suicidal thoughts had been slowly creeping back into his mind for several months now and they seemed to have hit him like a shockwave this night. He was struggling to deal with it. 

The familiar hopeless feeling of depression lingering in his chest. He had to get away from his thoughts- and although that was impossible- he still tried, by going to the only place that had ever calmed him down, the woods. 

Although there were odd sounds and dark shadows looming about the place, he never got scared by them. This was where he felt safe. Among nature. 

He had always loved coming to these woods to play when he was a kid and as he got older this tendency didn't fade away. He spent every free minute he had coming here, neglecting his friends to be alone in the most tranquil place he could imagine.

Nature wasn't predictable and Frank loved that. Nothing was planned here. It just happens like it happens. It gave him security, he had always hated predictability. It made everything bleak. Nature was the most calming yet most exciting thing and that's what drew Frank to it. You could sit in the middle of a forest and nothing would happen, yet everything would be happening at the same time. Thousands of insects and animals all around you and yet it was always quiet. Thousands of plants and trees surrounding you, growing, allowing you to breathe. However you wouldn't even be able to tell.

However for the first time in his life, his thoughts would not disappear or even fade into his subconscious. They stayed ever prominent. And as Frank started to spiral even more, he heard footsteps. He flinched at the crunching of the leaves and wondered, who the fuck would be in the middle of a forest in New Jersey at 2am? 

Frank looked around in an attempt to locate the person, but his attempt was futile, after all it was too dark for him to see at all. 

He hoped this person wouldn't see him. He didn't feel like explaining to anyone why he was sat on a tree stump at 2am, looking like he had just gotten out of bed (which he had). Surely whoever else was in this forest right now must have some pretty daunting thoughts as well- or maybe it's just an axe murderer here to kill him. Frank considered how convenient that would be. No one would have to know what a suicidal coward he was and maybe if they, whoever they were, mutilated his body enough, he would be unrecognisable. 

Frank pushed away his thoughts and focused on relocating the footsteps, having momentarily gotten consumed by his thoughts again. That's when he saw a figure approaching him. Franks muscles tensed up even more than they had before. He started nervously biting his lip. Until finally the figure spoke before getting too close.

"Sorry, but are you okay?" The figure paused coming to a halt only a meter away from him. "I just, uh I saw you sitting there and well you were just staring at nothing and uhm well it is 2 am.." The person mumbled. 

Now illuminated by the moon he could see that a boy, who looked roughly 17, was staring at him. The boy shifted nervously from one foot to the other, his black hair falling into his eyes.

Frank stared right back at the boy, racking his brain for logical words. "Yeah I'm fine don't worry about it, I just needed to clear my head." Frank praised whatever higher power there was that he didn't stutter and make a fool out of himself.

"Oh, okay. Well that's good, I guess, if you're sure every things okay? I mean I know you only just met me, but- oh, yeah, I forgot, my name's Gerard." 

"I'm Frank," he let out a short awkward laugh, "Can I ask why you're in a forest at 2am?" 

"I love the forest at night. It calms me down," Gerard said simply.

Gerard locked eyes with Frank and neither seemed to be able to break the eye contact. Frank stood up and brushed off any leaves stuck to his sweatpants. 

"But seriously. Tell me why you are here? What kept you up?" Franks voice turned soft, trying to win the boys trust. For some reason Frank felt the need to find out why this beautiful boy was in here. 

Gerard intrigued Frank.

Gerard grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and placed one between his lips, he held the pack out to Frank. Frank thankfully took one and mumbled a 'thank you' and both lit their cigarettes. 

Inhaling, exhaling, slowly killing themselves. 

"Well.." Gerard started, "I suppose I wanted some fresh air, which is ironic 'cause yeah," he said chuckling to himself pointing to the cigarette in his other hand. 

He took a long drag from the stick and continued, "and I suppose I'm here 'cause of the fight I just had with my younger brother, Mikey, I was a completely inconsiderate dick to him. I let my anger get the better of me." Gerard shrugged. "Anyway, your turn."

 Frank looked concerned, more focused on Gerard's issues than his own. But most likely deflecting the conversation from him. Frank didn't feel like telling some totally hot boy that he had met only mere minutes ago about his terrible mental state. Not that Frank thought he would ever have a chance with Gerard anyway. Gerard was definitely way out of his league. Frank swallowed the lump in his throat. 

"I'm seriously only here because I like the calming atmosphere, it makes me feel alive." Frank gave Gerard a small fake smile, hoping he didn't notice the small signs he was most likely giving off. 

"Anyway I should probably get home before someone notices I'm gone." Frank said throwing his finished cigarette to the floor and crushing it under his foot.

"Oh okay," Gerard said sounding slightly disappointed, "I'll see you round then?"

Frank took a deep breath, "yeah I suppose so. Bye." He waved and started walking in a hurried pace. 

Relief rushed over him as soon as he had gotten out of sight. The whole encounter was undeniably awkward.

And part of him hoped he never had to see Gerard ever again, but thinking that already made a small part of his heart ache.