dino's twin sister ➳ seventeen

Thirty Five ➵ Panic

"My mum dropped me off at the building and left right away. Then I went inside and heard voices coming from a room so I listened. I know I shouldn't have but I heard Joshua's voice and he sounded upset, I was being nosey. They were talking about company stuff and after, I said hello to Joshua and we sat in another room and talked for a while. And then the fire alarm went off." I recite and the police officers nod, writing down the information. 

I can't believe that this is even happening. I'm being made to feel like a criminal but I'm obviously not.

"How long were you and Mr Hong talking in the other room?" The man asks and I shrug.

"I'm not sure, fifteen minutes, maybe?"

"What was the conversation you overheard about?"

I sigh. "The company wanted Joshua to fake date a girl from one of their new girl groups."

"And this made you upset, yes?"

I frown. "It did."

"Did it also make you angry?" He asks and I click on, knowing that he thinks my emotions caused me to start the fire.

"Yes, but it didn't make me start the fire. That would have been completely unreasonable."

"But-"

"I think that's enough for today. I need to back to the hospital, I don't feel well." I interrupt the man and he nods understandingly, but still looks like he doesn't trust my words.

"That's fine, but we'll need to talk to you again soon."

"Hopefully you'll find the person who actually did this before you need to talk to me again." I sigh and stand up, immediately walking out of the door and out of the building.

I see the minivan parked outside of the police station and a crowd of paparazzi crowded behind it. I ignore all questions and accusations as I open the passenger seat door and climb inside.

I see Wonwoo sitting in the driver's seat, a sympathetic look on his face. I immediately burst into tears and hold my face in my hands, my elbows on my knees. I feel a hand on my back and I know he's trying to comfort me but it doesn't work, I just continue crying.

"What did they say?" He asks softly as he begins to drive away from the paparazzi and the station.

"They think I started it. I can tell, it's so obvious."

"There's not enough evidence for them to arrest you, don't worry. You know that you always have our support."

I nod and look up. "I know I do."

As we're driving towards the hospital, the anxiety haunting me gradually increases. I feel my chest begin to close up and my breathes grow frantic. I try to stay silent and not distract Wonwoo as he's driving but when it gets to the point where I can't breathe, I turn to him and signal him to stop the car on the side of the road.

He does and immediately turns to face me. He looks panicked and unsure what to do, and I try my hardest to catch my breath again. But it feels like all of the air has been sucked out and there's no possible way for me to breathe.

Is this what a panic attack feels like?

"Areum, I need you to try and calm down." Wonwoo tells me but his voice sounds distant, like he's standing at the end of a tunnel.

The more I try to breathe, the harder it becomes.

"Put your head between your knees." He orders and I oblige.

He rubs my back soothingly and repeats reassuring words into my ear to help me calm down. I've never experienced a panic attack before so the whole experience is frightening.

"Just breathe." He soothes into my ear and I close my eyes, desperately focusing on my breathing.

After a few minutes, I feel the air begin to enter my lungs again. I don't move my head from between my knees but just slowly breathe instead. Wonwoo doesn't stop rubbing my back even when he hears my ragged breathes.

I close my eyes tightly and bring my hands to my face, wiping away the tears which I didn't know had fallen. I feel my chest burn from the oxygen deprivation and my head ring from the panic. But as I inhale the clear air more and more, I begin to feel gradually better.

"It's alright," Wonwoo mumbles quietly. "Everything is going to be alright."

I nod and sit back into the chair, turning to face him.

"Thank you." I whisper hoarsely, trying my hardest not to break down again.

He looks at me sympathetically. "Anything for you, Ar. Do you want to take a break for a few minutes?"

I shake my head. "It's alright, we need to get back to the hospital."

He obliges and stars the short journey towards the hospital. When we arrive in the carpark, I see the familiar paparazzi outside. I groan silently, how are they always everywhere we go?

Wonwoo reaches for a pair of sunglasses in the side section of the door, pulling them out and handing them to me before putting on a pair of his own. With the shades on, we're less recognisable so we manage to get inside the hospital without a fuss.

Inside, I see the boys and Jasmine in the waiting room. I quickly say hello, avoiding eye contact with her before heading the Joshua's room.

He's still asleep, and in a way I'm glad because I want to be here for him when he wakes up. I sit on the chair beside his bed and hold his hand loosely, feeling my eyes grow tired.

I'm about to drift asleep until I feel a gentle, soft but prominent squeeze on my hand.

I gasp quietly and look up, seeing Joshua's eyes slowing opening.

author's note:
sorry if you felt uncomfortable during the panic attack scene but personally, i think it's important that issues such as this and also mental illnesses aren't ignored, and i aim to make this book as realistic as possible and unfortunately things like this do happen to some people.

but anyway, thanks for reading like usual! we reached 30k reads yesterday and i honestly couldn't be happier. every single read, vote and comment i appreciate so much.

also, i'm going on a sort-of date (it's not a date but my friends say it is) tomorrow! wish me luck ^.^

have a good day/night/morning! :)