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Pen Your Pride

I couldn't sleep. Thoughts about Harry being my brother keep swirling around my head. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's already... like... 3 in the morning and I'm still lying on my bed wide awake. My eyes hurt already. I close them and I get visions of what I saw in that mirror. Is Harry really the boy I saw in that mirror?? My vision was blurry from my tears and I was sleepy then and the surrounding was dark so I can't really tell if he was Harry. If so... Harry said the mirror shows us your family so that must mean I'm really related to him? Cousins? No. I have a strong feeling he's...... ugh I don't know! I just can't jump into conclusions like that! What if I'm wrong?

I don't know what to think now.

When I open my eyes, I was facing my bedside table. I took my glasses from the table and looked at my clock. It was... 9:30am?!

I quickly got up and regretted it because I felt horribly dizzy but I managed to run to the bathroom to get a bath and got dressed. I just wore whatever I can grab from my trunk. Then I headed back down to the Great Hall. Even though, Christmas was two days ago, the place still looks amazing. I went over to where Harry and Ron were. Seeing Harry, I had those thoughts again. Then a thought came up to my mind. I quicken my pace. "Morning!" I greeted them. Ron was eating while Harry sat on the table looking blankly at the fire. "Angelica," Ron asked in a pleading voice. I leaned closer to him as he whispered. "Please convince Harry not to go back to see that mirror again? Please? It's driving him crazy." He pleaded worriedly. I leaned back and looked at Harry. He did look odd since he told me about that mirror. But I couldn't tell him not to go back because I myself want to go back and look at the mirror.

I want to stare at my brother for eternity. I just... suddenly I felt like... who cares if I find him or not? I'll be able to see him smiling at me through that mirror. "Angelica??? Oh bloody hell! You look like Harry now!" Ron exclaimed exasperated. I shook my head and snapped back to reality. "Sorry." I apologized. "Just... lost in thought. But I'll talk to him." Ron nodded and I turned to Harry still staring at the fire. "Harry? Breakfast?"

He sighed, shook his head and got off the table. "I'm not hungry." he said and walked away.

I took one glance at Ron's worried expression and quickly stood up to follow him. "Harry! Harry, wait!"

Then he turned around sharply. "Look, if Ron asked you to tell me not to go back to that mirror you won't convince me because I made my decision." He told me. "I'm going back there and I'm going to see my parents again. You can't stop me, Angelica."

He turned to walk away but I called him again, "Harry, no. Actually I---- I was going to tell you that----I need you to take me to the mirror room again, tonight."

That night, we met in front of the Gryffindor Common Room. With the invisibility cloak wrapping us, no one could catch us. But last night was too close! Right after I gazed at that mirror with so much yearning, we heard Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, coming. If not for the cloak we would've gotten caught but thankfully, cats couldn't see through invisibility cloaks.

We walked through the library again, Harry was leading and I was just following behind him. He seemed to have memorized the way to this room. I just quietly proceeded as he concentrated on where he was going. Then a quiet squeak of excitement came out of his mouth when he touched the door. We both entered dropped the cloak and rushed to the mirror. Harry was there first; with a huge grin on his face he touched the mirror. "Hi mum, hi dad." He said.

I just stood there behind him, one hand holding my other arm. I can clearly see his face on the mirror. His smile, so wide, almost reaching his ears. Then he sat on the floor and just stared at the mirror. I slowly approached him and sat beside him. "Harry?" I whispered. His gaze didn't tore away from the mirror, still looking at it longingly. I can't distract him right now. I just looked at the mirror, I only see our reflection. The two of us sitting on the floor. I looked at Harry again, a bit busy with the mirror. Sighing, I laid my head on his shoulder. That caught his attention.

His gaze drifted to me. Then he slowly laid his head on top of mine. "You miss them don't you?" I whispered. I felt him nod. "Everyday." He added. We continue to stare at the mirror. He was still smiling and I was just looking sad. I don't even know why I'm sad.

"So--- back again?" We both sat straight up. I slowly turned around and saw Dumbledore sitting on a desk, looking at us. Harry and I stood bolt right up. Harry and I must be too desperate to get near the mirror that we didn't notice him. "I---I--- Sir I'm so sorry----"I started but Dumbledore held up his hand. "No apology necessary." He said softly. "We---we didn't see you, sir" Harry pointed out.

"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you." Dumbledore smiled. I sighed of relief that he was okay with this. He stood up from the desk and approached us. "So you like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised" he said. Oh so that's what this is called. 'Erised'? What an odd name?

"I didn't know it was called that, sir" Harry said I can still hear a hint of nervousness on his voice. "But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"

"It---well--- it shows me my family----"

"And it showed your friend Ron himself as head boy."

"How did you know----?"

"I don't need a cloak to become invisible," Dumbledore chuckled.

"And----"I interrupted. "It showed me----"I turned to look at Harry then back at Dumbledore. "It showed me my brother." Dumbledore nodded. "Now can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?"

Harry and I both shook our heads. "Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?" I thought of what that might've meant. "It shows us what we want..." I muttered. "Whatever we want?" Harry added.

"Yes... and no....

It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You Harry, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Angelica, who has always wanted to meet her long lost twin brother see him beside you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible." Dumbledore explained. We listened to him intently. The last part of what he said made me shiver a bit. I can still remember Harry's strange face while thinking of this mirror.

He was nearly driven mad about it. Thank goodness Dumbledore told us this. I will never go back here. Then I thought of something. "Erised." I muttered aloud. "Erised... Desire."

Dumbledore nodded at my realization. "That's pretty clever." I muttered and he gave a deep chuckle. Harry smiled a bit at me. We're getting comfortable now that Dumbledore isn't mad or going to expel us. He looked at us more seriously through his half-moon shaped glasses.

"The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, and may I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."

I suddenly smiled when he said that. "That's what I always thought" I mumbled. Dumbledore smiled at me and patted my head gently. "Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?"

We both nodded and I went to take the cloak. "Sir--- Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?" I noticed Harry didn't move a muscle, still standing ,on his position. "Obviously, you've just done so." Dumbledore joked and I laughed a bit. "You may ask me one more thing, however."

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" Then I too looked at Dumbledore curiously. Nice question there, Harry.

"I? I see myself... holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."

Harry and I exchanged glances and looked at him puzzled. "One can never have enough socks" He continued. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair, People will insist on giving me books."

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH THAT? I thought incredulously. "Well next Christmas we'll go and find you a warm pair, sir" I smiled approaching them. He chuckled again and patted our heads.

When we got to the front of the Gryffindor Common Room Harry told me, "I think Dumbledore wasn't a bit truthful back there."

"You mean what he sees in the mirror?" and he nodded.

"Well... if you think about it... it was quite a personal question" I reasoned out shrugging.

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