Breakdown

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Request by @Cliffordxdrxgs.

You're lying to yourself if you say you don't want to kiss Mikey's beautiful face

Kinda intense in some scenes

Warning, Mikey has some issues
-schizophrenia (not that intense)
-kinda bipolar (usually he's happy or hyperactive but sometimes has breaks where he's rather angry/aggressive)
-depression in the past that he is still getting over
-previous issues at home (complete fiction)

I added some mental issues, I hope that's alright :)

I've read some stuff of about schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, as well as some of my close friends have the disorders, but I sincerely apologize if I get anything wrong.

Please don't harass me if I do

Thank you

Anyway..........

{1814 words}
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"Mikey, let me see your arms." Rachel mumbled, making sure her boyfriend hadn't taken a blade to his beautiful pale skin recently. Michael frowned as he rolled up his jacket sleeves, revealing dozens of deep scars that were fading slowly, she held his arms and kissed them gently, making a small shy smile appear on his face. Rachel let go and he put his sleeves back down, she sat on the floor infront of him and rested her head on his lap, "How are you feeling today?" She smiled as she wanted to know if his depression was still at a low. "I've been okay, they're just saying a lot of stuff that makes me sad sometimes." Michael mumbled as she played with his fingers. Michael had schizophrenia, he was diagnosed at 13 and was also diagnosed with being bipolar, his schizophrenia didn't get too bad, the voices weren't that loud and didn't say much, but when they did it was rather harsh words. His bipolar disorder wasn't that bad either, he was usually on the calm side of the disorder or on the hyperactive side when he wasnonstage, but sometimes certain things would make him freak out and go on a slight rage. Michael had lashed out at Rachel a few times in the 5 years they had been dating, but Michael would apologize and be just as loving as before, "Like what kitten?" She asked, "They've told me I'm not good enough for you, like you're so cute and funny and sweet, then they say how fucking worthless I am." Michael mumbled, almost in a whisper as his voice cracked a little. Rachel stood up and kissed him softly, feeling him smile a little and she sat on his lap, playing with his blonde hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning back into the couch. "You know what I have planned for tonight?" Michael smiled and she hummed in response, "After the concert, I'm gonna take you back home, light some candles, cook you up something special, then I have a surprise for you." Michael grinned and pecked her lips. "But, until then, we're gonna cuddle and watch scary movies while we eat leftover Halloween candy." Michael giggled and laid them down on the couch, basically ontop of her and hugging her close. "Miiiiiiiikey, you're heavy." Rachel whined, "Baaaabe, I'm just giving you all my looooooove." Michael smirked as he peppered her face and neck with kisses, making her laugh. He moved off of her and held her close to his chest, "I think I'd rather do this then watch movies." Rachel chuckled and he smiled, kissing her softly. "I'd rather do this too." Michael whispered and snuggled his face into her chest, his face literally lodged between her boobs. "Mikey, what the hell?" Rachel laughed, "Nature's pillows babe." Michael mumbled, his voice muffled as he was getting drowsy plus his face was squished against his girlfriend's boobs. Rachel started playing with his hair and he promptly fell asleep, well their afternoon didn't go according to plan but it was still perfect for them, cuddling is just as good as Mikey hiding his face in her neck when he got scared from a horror movie. About 10 minutes before Calum came to pick them up for their concert, Michael suddenly jumped up from his spot on the couch and ran to the bathroom, Rachel following him in fear he was either gonna puke or grab a blade. She was surprised to see the door wide open, Michael curled up in a ball in the corner of them room, his hands covering his ears as he rocked back and forth and little, his breaths quick and short. Rachel went over to him and bent down infront of him, "SHUT UP! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Michael cried, letting out sobs of fear. "Th-they w-won't sh-shut u-up." Michael hiccuped as Rachel carefully removed his hands from his head, "Mikey, did you take your meds?" She cooed, "Th-they told me to th-throw it u-up." He sniffled and Rachel pulled him in for a hug, "I-I-I'm sorry Rachel." Michael sniffled. "It's not your fault kitten." She cooed and he stood up, splashing some cool water on his face and drying himself off just as they heard a car horn honk. Rachel grabbed Michael's hand and led him out to the van, getting in and he put one earbud in, cuddling up to Rachel as he was usually clingy after one of his schizophrenic episodes, this one rather mild. "Another episode?" Ashton mouthed from the passenger seat and Rachel nodded, they always knew to be careful because he's had some episodes during shows before and usually after a schizophrenic episode, he'd go on a slight rage or sometimes just act really depressed, Rachel hoping neither of those would happen tonight. They arrived at the arena and during the entire opening act and before the show, Michael was on the couch with Rachel, resting his on her lap whilst he strummed the chords to Broken Home on his acoustic. "You really like that song huh?" Rachel smiled and Michael nodded, "Yeah, I have a connection to it, it's like my middle and high school life in a song I guess." Michael mumbled as he continued strumming, "I can't wait to perform it." He whispered as they were called onstage and Michael gave Rachel a kiss before rushing out onstage with his bandmates, of course leaving his jacket behind as he didn't wanna get overheated. The entire show, Michael was going through a bipolar episode, this one thankfully hyperactive and joyful, Rachel hoping this was the only one for tonight and they would have the nice evening he had planned for her. The concert was over and Michael rushed off stage, hugging Rachel tight because he knew she didn't care about him being all sweaty, "Did I do good?" Michael smiled as he pulled away from the hug, the widest smile on his face. "You did a perfect job like always." She smiled and somehow his smile grew wider, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and giggled. "You ready for our perfect night?" Michael asked as they walked to the van, the blonde boy cuddling up to his girlfriend once again and picking her up to bring her into the house. "I'm gonna take a shower real quick before I do everyhting." Michael smiled as he went into the bathrook, taking a quick shower and then when he stepped out, his tummy started to ache a bit am he got worried. He couldn't be getting sick now?! He brushed off the pain and walked to the bedroom, getting into some casual by nice clothes and he let out several burps the entire time. Rachel went upstairs as Michael went downstairs, she noticed he was acting diffrent and she knew right away he was gonna go into a bipolar episode soon, assuming it was an angry/aggressive by the look in his eyes. She took a shower and got dressed then going downstairs and seeing Michael sitting on a chair and griping his hair. Their night wasn't gonna go according to plan. "Michael, are you okay?" She asked, standing at the stairs, "I'm not fucking okay because I hate myself and my life." Michael grumbled as he stood up, "Why?" Rachel asked, getting nervous of what he was gonna say or do. "Your asking why?!" He snapped, "Do you not listen when I tell you about them?! When I have to live with the bloody scars on my body from not just my father's drunken abuse?! When I have to deal with the fact that I'll never be good enough for anyone because of fucking schizophrenia and bipolar?!" He screamed and Rachel sighed, holding in tears. "Michael, I listen tod everything you say." She cooed, "Then why you fucking ask why I'm not okay?! You know about how much of a fuck up I am!" He shouted and sat back down, taking some deep breaths and burping a few times. "Let's just have dinner okay?" She smiled and he nodded, although she could tell it wasn't over. He kept burping during dinner and he noticed a flame on the candle flicker, "Hey Rachel, watch this." He giggled and stood up, bending down infront of the candle and burping out the flame, laughing at Rachel's disgusted look. "Do I gross you out?!" He asked, stopping his laughter in a split second, Rachel stayed silent. "I asked you a question!" He snapped and she just looked down, making him huff in frustration, he walked over to the second candle and burped it out as well, laughing as he saw Rachel make another disgusted look, but when he looked again, she was crying and his expression softened. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, then going over and hugging Rachel, getting down on one knee so he could look up and her. "I'm sorry, really really sorry. This night was supposed to be special and I was supposed to make you cry of joy not fear of your own damn boyfriend." Michael sighed, "What do you mean by joy?" She sniffled and Michael wiped her tears. "Rachel, tonight is a royally fucked up, big time. I wish I could control my episodes and do more than just take some simple pill that's supposed to help, but I can't. But, you know what? I'm happy. Well, mostly and you know why? Because of you, you made me happy. I wanna be happy for the rest of my life and have the lovely girl infront of me to be the cause of it. So Rachel." Michael smiled and went into his pocket, "Will you marry me?" He asked as he opened a velvet box with a emerald ring inside. "Y-yes! Yes! Yes!" Rachel cried and he slid the ring on her finger, kissing her as they slowly stood up. "I never wanna let you go." Michael whispered, "You'll have to kill me to get rid of me." She smiled and kissed him again.

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