sixty-seven

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{2nd june 2013}

dear jen,

i can feel my off days coming up again. i don't know if they'll turn out to be just off days or off weeks or off months but -

god, i don't even know, any more, jen, i just hope to god that they don't end up being off months.

the thing about liz is she gave a shit.

i'm not saying there aren't people who give a shit about me - i just mean -

god, what am i even saying?

liz cared and she knew how to show it. i hope that makes sense now. maybe.

fuck.

you have joe and joe has you. mum has dad. even fallback guy's got his amy. i've got a slab of stone with a girl's name engraved into it and a pile of fresh lilies lying at the bottom.

so, you tell me - is that enough to keep me from having off months?

fuck. this isn't what it sounded like in my head.

never mind.

i'm sorry for walking in on you and joe, by the way.

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