I put the finishing touches on Shane's face, making sure to pay special attention to his hair and the way it swooped. It's all about the hair flip, I hear Shane say inside my head.
Shane. He is so... perfect. I flip back in the book to previous drawings of Shane. How could I accurately capture his beauty on a sheet of paper?
"Hey, Joey?" I hear a familiar voice and fling the book across the room.
"Hey, Shane?" I stammer back.
Shoooooot. I forgot I had called him over.
"So... can I come in?" He asks.
"Yeah just a sec," I say, covering the book with my pillow. "Yeah. Yeah, come on in."
Shane walked in, looking as handsome as ever. Hands in his pockets, his hair swooped to the left side today. He wore a red shirt and blue jeans. I got up and hugged him. Gosh, I never wanted this hug to end. I just wanted to hold him forever. But I knew I couldn't. I knew his heart was already locked. And Lisa has the key.
Shane's straight, I told myself sternly as I pulled away from the hug.
"So what's up?" Shane asks. "Are we doing a Shoey thing?"
His eyes light up slightly.
"Uh... sure." I say, smiling warily. "Why not."
I kept my mouth shut to the real reason I invited him: to tell Shane I was gay. For him.
"I'll get my camera." I ran out of the room to get my camera and lights.
Shane's POV :
Joey ran out of the room to get the camera. I sighed. Why did I suggest we do a Shoey thing? I guess I just love to torture myself. Shoey wasn't even real. But I wanted it to be so much! Why couldn't I just tell him? I imagined it:
"Hey Joey, um listen- you turned me gay. I secretly broke up with Lisa two weeks ago for you. So wanna be gay together?"
"Oh my god," I whisper to myself, flopping down on the bed. My head hit something. Something hard. I reach under his pillow. A notebook. I flipped through it quickly. Joey drew anime... whoa, he was really really good! Wait- was that me? Aw that's so sweet! Joey drew an anime of me! And another. And another. And another. And another. Wait, was this whole book me!? No Shane, I say, giving myself a mental slap in the face. This could be anyone! This could be Ellen DeGeneres! Yeah, that's it. Joey's just obsessed with Ellen. Besides, I thought to myself as Joey walked in the room... Joey's straight.
A/N, from Future Lexi:
Greetings, dear reader! There are a few things I want to let you know if you're reading this for the first time. One, I wrote this fanfic not long after I first found the internet; I was very young. Thus, there are so, so many things I want to change. Some chapters I just want to delete completely. I wrote this before I understood what a lot of things really were, like self harm, or how it felt to really like someone. Although I am currently going through this story and fixing my many, many grammar and spelling mistakes, I don't think I'll be changing any major parts of the plot, no matter how silly, immature, or just plain cringe-worthy they are. There are a lot of good, solid chapters in this book, of which I'm proud of. But about the ones that sort of suck, if you'd like to keep reading, please just cringe through those few and keeping moving. The second book gets better. (Unlike Shane Dawson's second book, "It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays" (had to fit some promo in there somewhere). Anywho, I do hope you decide to continue reading! Virtual hugs! - Lexi