the boy they called troye

21

B a nobody - SOAK
It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. It's raining, the sky dark and gloomy and Connor finds himself closing his eyes, taking himself back to his third encounter with Troye. It was the next Monday, Connor couldn't bring himself to see Troye more than every other day so a two day break seemed appropriate at the time.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21, thinking of being 19 and seeing Troye for that third time and Troye asking him why see he came to sit with him and why never two days in a row. Connor had shrugged, he wasn't one for speaking when it wasn't necessary.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. He's touching his hand where Troye had intertwined their fingers on that third day, the third day of visiting and the sixth day since the first. They had been laying on their backs with Troye telling a story about his dog Jagga, who Connor doubted actually existed, when his fingers where suddenly grasped. Troye carried on like he didn't just take a risky leap in their relationship that was practically nonexistent but Connor didn't pull away. Because it made him feel.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. Two days later, the fourth day of visiting and the eighth day since the first, Troye brought a bag of things and a dog. Connor was pleasantly surprised that the thing actual existed even though he's always been more of a cat person.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21, clearly seeing Troye dump out the contents of the small drawstring bag as Jagga laid next to him, both boys crisscross in front of each other. An assortment of nail polishes fell out and he looked up to find Troye grinning like a maniac.

"No." Was all Connor had said, but he knew if Troye asked even once he couldn't say no, his curiosity was bursting. That's why Connor didn't protest when the curly haired boy took his hand. A light blue ran smoothly over his nails until they were all covered and Connor held them up in front of his eyes with a frown, it was pretty. Connor hated it.

"You look awfully pretty for someone who never smiles, even when your saying no."

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21, and he's blushing at the memory, recalling the way he stared at Troye for a good minute in awe. No one had ever called Connor pretty before, and sadly it would be the last time.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. The counters, the same ones he's stared at before remind him of last time he talked to Troye. There littered with brown and blue specks and Connor can still see the same specks in Troyes eyes that were a little to big, just like his arms where alittle to long.

"Theres an old lady," Troye had said as they now lay on their backs, on the last day they were to speak even though only one of them knew it. "Her names Susan and she lives down the street. Or at least she did."

"What happened to her?"

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. He's a legal adult, that can legally drink and can legally move away from home, staying only because leaving home means leaving him.

"She jumped." At first Connor was confused, but then he remembered what his mother had said this morning. Another neighbor committed suicide, she was telling Dustin, she was crazy and she jumped off of that cliff over by Wellston's.

Troye spoke again. "Have you..have you ever thought about jumping?" Connor shook his head and Troye sighed, looking back up at the cloudy sky. "Of course you haven't."

"What does that mean?" Connor had asked, offended. Troye shrugged.

"Nothing bad I suppose. You just seem average." average? "The kind that's comforting though, the kind that's calming after sticking out for so long." And Connor had turned away too, he wasn't angry. But he wasn't happy either. He was content as he Troye stood up and pulled Connor with him.

Its 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21. He's recalling Troye asking him to play a simple game of tag and chasing after the boy even after he had said no. Troye never took no, always getting what he wanted. Flashes of Troyes turquoise skirt and bright smile cloud Connors eyes as he watches the scene play out before him.

Troye ran into a maze of sunflowers then, ones taller than the to boys themselves, and he had looked around to find no one there.

It's 6 am and Connors making coffee, now officially 21, and he's thinking about how scared he got when Troye disappeared. He'd never been that far out before and as he walked forward, fully alert, he panicked. But the feeling didn't last, once he walked far enough to leave the overgrown flowers he saw him. Troye was looking at him with a grin, and he muttered something that stuck with Connor the way talking did, the way Mathew did, the way Susan would.

"One day, I'm going to jump. And its going to be grand, and all the world is going to see that even a pretty boy has feelings too."

Connor had felt uneasy, no one is supposed to talk about death like that. Like some kind of prize, or some kind of point to be made. Then they went home.