My eyes wandered to the world outside where people walked the streets getting to their own destinations. Not stopping to think about the people around them but rather obsessed with their own desires and needs.
"Rowan?" I blinked few times hearing my name.
"Sorry." I realized I had been in a daze and unfocused on my task of listening. My mind seemed to wonder like this more often nowadays.
"You seem distracted today, is there something bothering you?" Dr. Hill asked me leaning toward in her chair while she took off her glasses placing them on the glass coffee table that put space between us.
"No just thinking I guess." I told her honestly reeling in my attention to the person at hand.
"What are you thinking about?" Dr. Hill followed up with another question concerning my wondering mind.
"There are so many people in this world, but they took her. Why do bad things happen to good people?" I asked confused by the logic of the thought.
"I know you don't want to hear this and it won't make you feel better but, sometimes you are at the wrong place at the wrong time. I know this hasn't been easy for you and I intend to help you through this but you can't dwell so heavily on the past like this. You know Kait wouldn't want that." I sucked in a deep breath knowing that Dr. Hill was right. Somehow I couldn't seem to let it all go, I hung on to last years events like they were yesterday.
"If I hadn't said yes to her-" I started but shortly was cut off my Dr. Hill.
"Rowan, none of this is your fault. You are not responsible for Kait's death and nor will you ever be." Dr. Hill checked her watch that began alerting her that our session was over. "We are going to pick this back up next week okay? In the meantime I want you to keep a journal, I want you to write down all your thoughts and feelings whether those are good or bad." Dr. Hill always gave me weekly assignments after our sessions to give me something to do and ultimately help me cope with my feelings and emotions.
"Okay." I nodded gathering my bag that had been sat to the side of me. Standing up from the couch I collected my coat from the coat hanger next to the door. "I'll see you next week." I waved to Dr. Hill who waved back and began preparing for her next patient.
"Remember what I told you Rowan." She called after once I shut the door waving goodbye to the receptionist.
The nice fall air grazed my cheeks while I slid on a pair of fingerless gloves that were more or less for fashion reasoning instead of actually conserving heat to my fingers and hands. My pea coat wrapped around me as I walked the streets of Portland. The leaves bringing brightness to the dull overcast sky that was painted above us. Coming upon a small coffee shop I opened up the glass door hearing a small ring of a bell sound my arrival. The shop was quaint and cozy as it sat on the street drawing you in with its sweet smells of baked goods and coffee floating in the air.
"Welcome to The Hideout Cafe, what can I get you?" I was met with a a pair of jade green eyes that shined in the lights of the shop.
"Yeah could I get a Pumpkin Spiced Latte please?" I asked digging through my purse to retrieve my wallet to pay whatever the bill would be.
"That's surprising." The boy with curly brown hair smirked writing down my order on a cup.
"What is?" I could hear a british accent on his tongue as he spoke.
"I don't know I expected something a little different of an order from a girl like you." He looked back at me once he was done scribbling the order onto cup.
"What do you mean a girl like me?" I question him once he handed the cup off to a girl who went to work making my coffee.
"You look like the artsy hipster type, one that doesn't order Pumpkin Spiced Lattes." I giggle at his assumption of me and begin to ask him questions about himself. I had turned into the shy type ever since last year, I wasn't at all who I used to be. Some say I had lost myself due to the traumatic event placed before me yet if I'm lost, how does one find themselves again?
"What do they call you?" I tilted my head taking in his breathtaking features that I found striking.
"What do you think they call me?" The boy responded arching an eyebrow. All at once covering his name tag that I had failed to notice before.
"Oh I don't know!" I giggled a bit trying to conjure up a name that would suit him. "Marcel?"
"Marcel? That's the best you could come up with?" He laughed causing me to do the same as I found his laugh infectious.
"Well I don't know! I came up with the first name that came to mind." I defended watching his expressive facial expressions. "Well then if you aren't called Marcel, what are you called?"
"It's Harry." He told me and I nodded satisfied by his answer once he then uncovered the name tag with his hand.
"It suits you." I told him seeing the girl making my coffee press a lid onto the open cup that now had steam coming out the small drinking hole.
"Thank you." The girl placed the cup on the counter while Harry rang up the total. "Three Fifty is your total." Harry took the card I outstretched to him.
"Thank you." I nodded once he handed me back the card ripping the recent and throwing it in the bin behind the counter.
"It was nice meeting you!" I called after Harry when the coffee warmed my hand and I began to walk away.
"Likewise, see you around." Harry called after before I shut the shop door feeling my cheeks being nipped at by the cold autumn air.
Taking a sip from the sweet drink I saw black scribbling between my eyes. Taking a better look at the cup I saw Harry's scribbled handwriting laying out various numbers with a smiley face at the end. Smiling to myself I kept on my way thinking back to the boy in the coffee shop. His company was lovely and I didn't mind having a chat with him while I awaited my coffee to be done. Though a meaningless conversation sparked between the two of us. I had longed to have conversations about nothing since most of the time all mine had been heavy with apologies recently. It was refreshing to talk about something other than the events of last year. Smiling to myself I kept on my way staring at the little smiley face Harry had drawn out.
Song/ Lego House: Ed Sheeran
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