Chapter 19: Im Gay For You

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October 4th 2015

I had an an amazing time in practice where I was able to finally put all thoughts of Noah and Kate aside. After I came home yesterday and walked into my house- I suddenly felt the impact how big this house was and how lonely it felt. Being here alone never felt too bad, I mean I had come accustomed to the fact that my family had left- what once was no longer existed. But after Noah and meeting him and spending time with him I began to feel like that maybe there was hope for me after all. Unfortunately, like everything in my life, that was too good to be true.

I Spent most of the night tossing and turning contemplating all that happened in the last few weeks of school. I had already known that this year was not going to be any better than the last, but that didn't stop me from believing there was a chance. Now I feel pessimistic and I have always tried to find the best in situations, yet now I couldn't.

Today I woke up to the shrill sound of the home telephone ringing. Alla told me the unpleasant news my mother was the one calling. She was finally taking a notice of me and so she planned to visit this weekend and wanted to notify me of her travel arrangements. she and her husband were planning on spending the weekend here wanting to check up on me as if they really cared. This made an already terrible week so much worse.

I finally climbed out of bed, took a fast shower, slipped on some random clothes and sauntered downstairs to be greeted with a full breakfast. At least some things didn't change and there was a few things left in my life worth living for. After calling out a quick goodbye to the staff I walked out to the door. I greeted my car casually and once settled in, I drove the short distance to school.

I saw Chad and Jaxon standing gleefully by my usual parking spot. Once I was parked I joined them and we stalked into school. " so it's true then?" Chad piped up in a almost sing- song voice.
"What is?" Jaxon voiced.
"Noah and Kate are a couple. I heard they had some heated session right against a locker and were like seriously told off by a teacher for nearly having sex or something" Chad continued, enthusiastic about the false rumours he had heard.
"I was there- that's not true. Yes they are a couple, but they weren't in any serious trouble. Just urged to break it up and no they were nowhere near to having sex" I growl.
"Sheesh, calm down! I meant no harm" Chad defends raising his arms in surrender.
"Whatever" I mumble and stalk away from him. I feel Jaxon following behind me- I never did find out what got him so mad yesterday. Well, I'm not In the mood to care about other people's problems right now, I have enough problems of my own.


I still can't shake this weird guilty feeling I have had since yesterday. But I haven't really had a chance to think about it, I mean I'm grateful for Kate's hospitality but seriously the girl could give me some space from time to time. So I walk into school still confused.

I notice Damian and his friends are walking in too. One of them pisses him off and he starts to walk off without him, the other friend just trails off behind him also mad at the other friend. I can't help but feel bad for Damian I don't like seeing him mad- I never got a chance yesterday to ask what made him angry. But he left so quickly after school and my phones completely bust so I can't text him. I'll just have to confront him today.

After a boring homeroom session I decided I would find out what's wrong with Damian in first period English. I sprint to the lesson and take my usual seat before anyone else has enters the room. After a few agonising minutes Silver enters, he has his head low and doesn't even notice me. After taking his seat I turn to him and well here goes nothing.
"Silver, are you mad at me? I feel like you've been avoiding  me" he just scoffs a laugh at this.
"Why should I be mad at you. You have it all so perfect: good grades, nice family, hot girlfriend, great track team-" before he continue I cut him off.
"Silver if you knew the truth you'd laugh at how off you were. I'm not perfect, I'm so far from it. But I don't think me being "perfect" is the problem here. So are you going to tell me what it is?" He just looks at me, almost glaring.
"Why should I?" He responds.
I reply quickly and very sure of myself.
"You once said you cared about me, well I didnt believe that that was true. But now seeing you like this, I realise I care about you too. So if you meant what you said back then, you'd understand why you should tell me- because it hurts me seeing you hurting" he just continues to glare at me. But suddenly his stare softens.
"Fine, but not here"
"Okay, how about at lunch? We could meet behind the gym- it's quite quiet there"
"Yeah whatever"
"Like Jane Austen wrote: 'There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.'"
This cracks a small smile as I do my best British impression.
"You know you are Gay right?" I laugh.
"Well if I am gay, I'm only gay for you"

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