Keeping away: Raphael

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Raph was really mad today. The day after...you know. The moment! He has been punching that poor dummy for hours straight. His arms grew tired with each punch, in fact, they're so tired now that he has to flex so much that his veins are nearly popping out.

You let him bee though but mostly because you had no idea what was bothering him and it was best to keep away if he was mad. You learned that thanks to all of the times you've tried too calm him down. His brothers told you the same thing as well and even Master Splinter had tried too keep you out of his sight. he could apparently destroy everything in his sight when he is mad enough.  Today you didn't care about that, since he looked absolutely awful and exhausted. It looked like he would collapse any time and just die there. You couldn't let that happen - not that it was going to in the first place.

After running towards him, you grabbed the arm he had just punched with and stopped him from throwing another punch at the dummy. He froze, his eyes still glaring forward. It looked like he was a wild tiger that was out on a hunt and was about to attack it's victim at any moment. You didn't let that happen, so you positioned yourself in front of him - since he could not hurt you.

Before you could say another word, he ripped his arm out of your grasp and hit the wall right behind you - hard. You blinked out of terror as he stared at you with his green eyes, as if you were the bate that the lion would kill and eat up. You blinked away confused tears and tried to speak, but nothing came out, only air. He sensed your fear, but ignored it and took a few steps forward, making you back away and hit your back against the wall. Now you were captured between a wall, and something that you can't recognize anymore. The person you call "boyfriend" looks more like a mad killer to you now. His eyes made you nearly shake out of terror and you wanted to run away and forget about him. But mostly because you didn't have a clue why he was mad at you in the first place.

Without warning, his eyes softened quickly and his angry expression turned in to the expression you see on a child that was crying. His body went nearly limp, making him fall down on you so that you were holding him up. You did your best to hold him up from hitting the ground too hard, but he was way too heavy for you, you so had no choice but to lay him on the ground.

After turning him around, you sat down on your knees and positioned his head in your lap. His eyes were closed, and fresh tears began to build up in them. You wiped them away and leaned down to kiss his forehead for comfort - not that you even knew why he was so sad.

He looked to peaceful to you now, the veins that were sticking out of his arms are now back in their normal position. His arms were now resting, and they looked so weak on their spot on the floor. His face made it look like he was sleeping, but crying in his sleep.
You sighed and gently took off his mask, placing it by your side, you took a hold of his hands and moved them up so that they were laying on top of his chest. He was way to tired to hold your hands back though.

After leaning down again, you kissed him sweetly upside down, he could just barely move his lips to kiss you back before going limp again. You decided to kiss him for a few seconds to show him that you are worried and care for him, even if he could not kiss back. Behind you the dummy fell down on the ground, startling you both, but mostly you. He had apparently hit it out off it's holder.

When he had gathered up enough energy, he decided to talk. 

"Sorry. I-" You cut him off with a 'Shh---' and rubbed his cheek with your thumb. He opened his eyes just as much as he could at the moment - which wasn't even halfway - and looked at you tiredly. Even more tears streamed down his cheeks now, but you didn't bother to wipe them away because they were constantly being replaced by new ones.

"I don't know what flew in to me...I guess is was just upset about not being good enough for you yesterday" He said and closed his eyes so that he would not have to look at you.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I don't know. I just feel like I totally messed up yesterday and deserves to be punished for not being the best of the best for you" He confessed and blushed. You froze and looked at him with total shock.

"I don't deserve to see you. I hurt you badly yesterday, and could not do anything to stop the pain. You were even bleeding! I know it's natural, but I should still have been a bit more careful with you." Your heartbeat slowed down, time seemed to stop and you seemed to loose your control over your senses.

"I feel like a monster - but mostly because I am" He said and rose up to his feet, suddenly filled with energy.

"You deserve someone better" he said to you before running away. You sat there for a while, looking at the door he had just passed. His ninja skills made his footsteps light, really light. You could barely feel them, and that made you wonder if you were only dreaming of him. What if everything you felt was only a dream? That there was no such thing as Mutants, and especially one named Hamato Raphael?

After a while you looked down at the mask that he had forgotten on the floor. His words were echoing in your head like you were standing in a tunnel.

 I don't deserve to see you. I hurt you badly

        You deserve someone better

                I feel like a monster -
                            but mostly because I am

                  



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