Escapade [harry styles au]

LXVIII

LXVIII

2:30pm

It wasn't long before our HQ came into view from the helicopter but I wasn't as relieved as the other agents. All I wanted was to be with Harry, wherever he was.

Maybe he would be in the HQ now. I could only hold onto the little hope I had, there was nothing else I could do. I was helpless.

The aircraft lowers down with stability until the bottom touches the ground and the engine is cut off. The agent who wanted to comfort me earlier steps out first before letting us all out in single file.

I am welcomed inside the HQ by Flynn whose eyes light up as soon as he sees me. However, they lose some of their light when they peered to my side and noticed it was just empty air. My breathing is stable again but barely so, I felt as though anything could make me begin crying hysterically again.

"Hello." I cough out to him and he smiles lightly.

"It's good to see you're back in one piece, Patience." He says and I suddenly feel awkward with this encounter. "I hope you will feel better once you get back to work."

What?

"What do you mean?" I question him with annoyance in my tone. He cocks his head to the side in confusion.

"You're going back to work, you didn't think I'd allow you to just sit here and do nothing." He tells me in an ordering way.

Nobody had told him.

And I couldn't help the anger that spread through my veins.

"Listen here, you asshole, if you think that I'm doing anything in this lousy job after all that has just happened then you have another thing coming," his eyes were wide at my outburst, "Harry's been shot and is most likely dead, Noah and Ashton turned out to be Zayn's men and are dead now also, Louis was actually alive but, oh wait, he's dead now too." Sarcasm unintentionally twisted with my words.

"Look, Patience." He interrupts, "I still think you need to get to work, this is your job."

"Screw you! I'm getting out of here." I state before turning but he grabs my arm. "I don't care about losing this job either, so fire me all you want, I don't care!"

"Don't you even think-" He begins.

"Zayn's dead!" I shout to him and his grip frees from me. "There's nothing to fight for right now! Absolutely nothing!" I was crying again but I hadn't noticed or merely cared about it.

Flynn glances at my tears before his mouth fell open after hearing my words. "Who shot him?" He quietly clues to me.

"Harry - Harry did; after he... saved me." It felt difficult, in an unusual way that hadn't been felt before, to say those words.

After I realise that all Flynn was doing was standing still, I move out of the door and storm onto the car park where I moved to the nearest busy street. A few cabs flew past, ignoring me, while I tried to hail one but I didn't mind. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

I move to a small brick wall near a bus stop and perch onto it while I wait to spot another taxi.

Frighteningly, it felt as though all the power I had in my body had disappeared into thin air without me even noticing. It felt strange and scary. Without Harry here, I was useless. He had saved my life, how could I ever repay him?

It's funny, how you only begin to value life once you're at a tough moment, which could result in you never living it again.

My hand flies up and the taxi that I had been watching eventually stops. I tell the taxi driver my address before getting inside the vehicle. He was clearly fazed by my tear stained cheeks as he stayed completely silent after I had spoken.

It felt weird to be home when I arrived. I still had things in Harry's house but they were just pieces of material to me now. As soon as I had opened my home's front door, I moved to a draw underneath the kitchen counters. I pulled it out by the handle before taking a carton of cigarettes that I hadn't opened before.

I take one from the pack as I stroll towards the sofa in my living room, perching onto it as soon as I could.

"Shit, I need a lighter." I reminded myself before rewinding back into the kitchen to fetch it from the same drawer.

A few seconds passed and at last, my cigarette was lit and sticking from my mouth. I never usually smoked, due to the harm it would have on my body, but I kept them purely for moments like this. When nothing would calm me down, nicotine takes the edge off of it.

I lean my head back against the comfy padding of the sofa, feeling slight discomfort from the right side of my rib. My hand moves to it to find the pocket of my jacket, it grips onto the contents and pulls it out only to reveal the photographs I had of Cara and my family.

This was enough to set me into a sobbing mess once more and I begged for the pain to stop. I was never like this, never.

Why now?

It didn't even brighten my thoughts thinking about Zayn being dead and the mission being accomplished. It just flew straight to the back of the queue of all the rubbish in my brain.

In a sorrowful hurry, I grab my mobile from the coffee table before me.

To: Harry
Please, be okay. Just give me a sign that you're well, that's all I need. I won't ask for anything more, I promise. Just please, get better. I love you.