Want to know what Caleb's like before Red? Curious about The Cams? Read The Cams story Spitfire in Love on my profile. Spitfire in Love has been published with new and edited content! Available online and at your local bookstores.
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Caleb stroked my back gently, the tips of his fingers lightly skimming the small of my back to the top of my spine. I felt his chest rise as he took a deep breath before his lips kissed my hair.
My muscles and bones felt liquefied but my heart refused to slow down as it continued to knock sharply against my chest.
The tap, tap, tap of the rain against the roof and the soft whooshing of the wind should have relaxed me, but it didn't. The argument we had planted a persistent ache in the pit of my stomach.
"Red," Caleb whispered softly. Achingly. "I'm so sorry."
The pain and sincerity I heard in his voice grabbed at my heart, but the hurt and anger had reintroduced their claws inside me, and were somehow stronger. I rolled away from him, grabbing the blanket to cover myself.
What the hell was I thinking? Ending up in bed with him because I couldn't separate the anger and longing I felt for him.
I had never done anything so... shocking in my life.
Especially after he acted like an asshole. It was a little overwhelming to realize how much power he had over me, but then again, in the back of my mind I always knew he did.
Tears started to clog my throat as he looked up at me with torture in his eyes, but I refused to let him see them and kept my face blank.
He rubbed a hand to his face, exhaling a short sharp breath as he rose and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to me.
"F uck me," he said quietly.
The muscles on his back and shoulders stood out as he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and lowering his head in his hands. He looked miserable, and I wanted to reach out to him, comfort him, but remembering the way he let his jealousy control his actions earlier made me hold back.
Oh, so now you're holding back, my subconscious lashed. You definitely weren't holding back when you were on top of him. Or when he was.
I closed my eyes, ashamed of my actions. I had let myself succumb to my desire for him. And look how we both feel right now. Still heartbroken.
It took out some of the aggression we were both feeling a few hours ago, but s ex didn't solve anything.
Maybe if I were the old me I would have ran away the second he grabbed my hand and dragged me away from that gazebo, but I had learned a lot since Caleb came in my life.
YOU ARE READING
Chasing Red and Always Red are now published and available in ebook and paperback on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Google Play. Links on my profile :) When cynical straight-A college student Veronica Strafford gets kicked out of her apartment...