Chapter 1

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Spencer's POV

Do you believe that there's one person on this earth that you're meant to be with?

That no matter what you're supposed to end up with that person?

I didn't.

At least not 2 years ago.

But two years ago... I didn't know her.

I didn't know what it felt like.

Love that is.

You know that saying its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?...

Its bullshit.

Total and complete bullshit.

A week ago

"You can't leave me. I don't know what I would do without you.." My words echo throughout the bedroom.

"I don't have a choice, my whole family is leaving. You know I don't wanna leave you. But what can I do?" I can see the tears starting to build in her eyes.

"It's all the way across the country." I state the obvious.

"I know." She says simply.

"I don't know... I'm not sure if I can live without you Ashley."

"Don't say that Spence." Ashley says wiping away the stray tears that I didn't even know were falling.

"I love you." I tell her.

She pulls me into a hug.

Her dad is honking and I know its time.

I'm not ready to let her go yet.

"I gotta go." She says placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Please Ash." I'm crying harder now.

And I told myself I wouldn't cry.

What a great job I'm doing at that.

"I'm sorry." She's crying hard too. "I love you too." She says before kissing me.

A kiss that I wanted to last forever.

I wished.

She let's me go and walks away.

I look out my window, watching as she gets into the car with her family.

A car that's gonna take her thousands of miles away from me.

Curse that fucking car.

I watch as she pulls away.

Away from my house.

Away from Los Angeles.

Away from the West Coast.

Away from me.

Present

"Spencer... Spencer... Spencer!"

"Oh crap, yeah? Sorry Mads."

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" She asked flopping down on the bed next to me.

"No sorry."

"You've been so fucking depressing to be around lately. Like I know you miss your bitch and all but I mean I'm still here." She looks genuinely hurt.

I have been being a really bad friend to her.

To everyone really.

Not on purpose.

I just can't focus on anything but how much I miss Ashley.

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