CHAPTER 63 Losing Your Home

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copyright 2015 Chris Smith All rights reserved.

I went in to the Doc's and asked him if I should do the Mud concoction again. He said to do my hands one day, my feet another day, and spleen the next day. He told me not to do around the eye. He checked my eye and told me to keep doing the diluted Drops twice a day in the eye. Damn!

My spleen was testing as a 9, down from the 11, which was a good sign. He energetically tested me for a supplement that would help my brain deal with the stress and also reduce the tension in my shoulders. I had never taken it before, but I was open to anything.

Then he tested me on my emotional issues. I hated when my arm dropped with emotions. I always tried to will it not to drop. But more and more these days, it dropped like a rock. I didn't want to have problems. I didn't want to have all these fucking emotional issues.

My kidneys were the first to come up, with the emotion of fear of "losing home".

I wonder why I would have a problem with that?

I don't think there's anything quite as unsettling as losing your home, or the fear of it. Talk about pulling the rug out. Home is supposed to be a safe harbor. It's the place you come to at the end of a long day of slaying dragons. It's the place where you are safe from harm. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone attacking you in your home. Home is the place where you rejuvenate your energies so you can go out and slay some more dragons. Or at least it should be.

The Doc said, "Put your hand on your forehead."

He moved my other hand to cover my kidney and turned me around so my back was facing him.

"Think of fear and losing home," he said.

Then he tapped along the points of spine that related to the kidney meridian.

"Breathe deep," he said.

Tap. Tap.

"Think of it. Fear. Losing home."

Tap. Tap. I breathed deeply in and out while I thought of everything around fear and losing home.

Then the Doc checked my kidneys again to see if anything else came up. The kidneys were still energetically testing to have an emotional issue. But this time my arm dropped on feelings of shame. I didn't have any idea how shame could be an issue.

Why would losing my home be anything to ashamed about?

No idea.

So, he did the tapping routine again while I breathed in and out to rid myself of shame.

My gallbladder was next, with frustration and my Dad. I felt my Dad was totally insensitive to others. Then the gallbladder pulled up with overexertion, which I was able to consciously identify very quickly. It always seemed to me, Dad was frustrated and yet he didn't want any help. I never understood it. He'd rather muddle through by himself then get help. I tried to help him, which he didn't want. Then I felt responsible. No wonder I felt overexertion.

Next to pull up in the energy testing was the lungs, with grief. I guess I felt like all my projects would die. They certainly weren't moving. Then it was feeling unappreciated at work. Which is true. I do a lot of stuff that I rarely get credit for, because most people either don't realize it's being done or take it for granted.

Last we went to the pancreas. I felt I had no control. Another emotional issue I don't know why I would have. What a joke.

I had the Doc check me, energetically, on whether I felt it was okay to move forward, success, and health. I had tested weakly on those in the past. So I thought it would be a good idea to check them again. Despite our best intentions in my experience, you can sabotage yourself, without even realizing it. The subconscious runs operating programs contradicting the one/s in the conscious mind.

He also checked my internal Drops dosage, and said to keep it at 10 Drops, mixed according to the instructions, twice a day. Overall I was improving. It seemed slow as setting concrete but I was moving forward. I was in a peaceful state when we left.

My Parents left for a Memorial Day dinner event at a local college. I was still too uncomfortable to go anywhere with my eye. Not that they invited me anyway.

I had no life. I had no social life, and no real work life. I lived on a Farm removed from general life and most people. I worked at the same location. We had no employees to speak of. I don't believe in socially interacting with people I work with, especially romantically. So I lived and worked on a small remote patch of ground. The only people I interacted with on a semi-regular basis, were the grocery store clerks, when I could afford to go to the grocery store that is.

No one knew what I did for work and I didn't tell them. I didn't tell them because I had nothing to show for it. Everything I worked on, pretty much, was the development of projects and therefore confidential. I never liked talking about work. If I had to talk about work, I might as well be working. I lived and breathed work; I really didn't want to talk about it more when I was attempting to be social.

I had no life. My life was isolation and now it had become an isolated Hell.


"A sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ."

John Steinbeck

American Author, Nobel Prize Literature Recipient 1962

(1902-1968)


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