CHAPTER 55 Can You Picture Home and Fear?

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copyright 2015 Chris Smith All rights reserved.

I had decided that night that I wanted to go back into the Doc's first thing in the morning. Mom and I arrived at his office right on schedule and sat down to wait since we didn't have an appointment. The Doc saw me waiting in the reception area as he passed the reception window and asked how the eye was doing.

"It didn't wake me up weeping last night," I said.

"It looks better," the Doc said.

"It does? It's hard for me to tell," I said with a slight feeling of elation.

"It's a lot more open and it's not as red," the Doc said.

We got into an exam room pretty fast. The Doc walked in and checked me out and of course the eye was still energetically testing as weak. It was an 11 energetically, as was my spleen [I was looking for a 10]. The good news was, it wasn't feeling as horribly as it had before, and it wasn't energetically testing as bad either. The Doc wanted me to keep doing the hot compress on my eye.

My neck was so tight though! So I told him about it and in typical Doc fashion, he had me stand up and hold out my arm.

"Ya know Doc, when I left here on Tuesday, I had the worst day of my life."

"Well, I was just about to check you for emotions," the Doc said.

Sure enough my body energetically picked up an emotional issue that lead back to the kidneys. The emotion was fear. Shocker.

"Self?" the Doc asked my body, energetically.

The arm stayed strong [it didn't drop].

"Home?" he said and my arm dropped like a rock.

I had learned long ago, no matter how hard I tried to keep my arm up, no matter how strong I thought I was physically, if my body was weak energetically, no amount of physical force or wishing could keep my arm in the air. I couldn't fake being energetically strong. The body's energy couldn't lie.

It wasn't about the Doc using a lot of physical strength to push my arm down. He could use one finger. Sometimes he'd use just his pinkie finger on my Dad. Dad would puff up acting all big and macho only to be dropped like a rock from a pinkie finger. So if you were energetically weak on something, the arm would drop.

It's pretty wild to think how easily the body can be energetically tested and checked. No probing or prodding using any medical gadgets. No needles of any kind. The idea, since everything is made up of energy, is that all you need to do is tune into that energy and assess what's going on, and what's needed to rebalance the energy.

"No, no problem there," I said.

"Can you picture Home and Fear?" the Doc asked me.

When he asked the question, it was like he uncorked a bottle ready to pop. I stood there, in the middle of the exam room, with the Doc in front of me and Mom sitting on a chair behind me, and my eyes flooded with tears. I couldn't stop.

"Yes," I said in a whisper filled with a grand canyon of emotional turmoil.

"Okay, think of that," the Doc said.

He pulled out his adjustment-tapping device, the Activator, he used for tapping along specific points on the spine. In this case, he tapped areas on my spine that corresponded directly to the emotion of fear that was associated with the kidney meridian.

"Deep breath in," the Doc said to me.

Tap, tap.

"Deep breath out."

Tap, tap.

He energetically checked my body again to see if I was cleared yet on my emotions. No. It was the kidneys again, but this time with shame. He cleared it with the Activator while I thought about shame and breathed deeply in and out. Then he checked me again, and my emotions bounced around to other organs such as the gallbladder with its emotion of frustration, and then the pancreas with low self-esteem.

"If I can ask, what happened on Tuesday," the Doc asked.

So I told him. I told him about the Foreclosure on Parcel A, and the Eviction. Then I told him about the Foreclosure on Parcel B and the Eviction a few days ago.

The Doc didn't skip a beat. He pulled my Mom's cup out of her hand and handed over to me and had her stand up. Then he went through the same routine he had with me, to check my Mom out emotionally. Sure enough he picked up fear in the kidneys, and then anger with the liver.

The Doc took the time to clear her emotionally of both of the emotions (one at a time). He did this for her, and us, without being asked. He did it because he cared about us and wanted to help as much as he could. He was indeed a great man, who gave of himself all the time. I'd never met another Doctor of any kind, like him.

I felt so much better when we left. My heart was lighter, like he had helped rid another load of weight off my emotional shoulders.

When we got back the Main House it was time to work on getting the hot water heater going. It took an hour or so but we finally got it turned back on. I could bathe in warm water again! Glory!

After two days of much tinkering and plunging, I unplugged the upstairs sink in the bathroom. I had to plunge the shit out of the drain but it worked! It meant I didn't have to go to the downstairs bathroom to use the sink all the time. This bathroom was right next to my new bedroom. It's all about the baking soda and vinegar, I tell ya!

Of course the shower faucet upstairs still didn't work, but you had to take the victories you could get. They were two huge accomplishments in my little world. I celebrated that night by washing my hair in the sink, and taking a two-pot shower [one pot to wash and one to rinse] in the upstairs shower stall.

The little things sometimes really help you get through the shittiest of situations. Funny how something so simple like a useable sink, and hot water can make you feel normal again. Normal. I'd almost forgot what it felt to feel normal. Normal was a mirage to me these days.

"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success...but significance!!! Then...even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning!"

Markesa Yeagar


(1985- )

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